Gender and Power Issues with Swallowing

[soybean589]

Hi! I just recently joined this community because I enjoy intellectual discussion on pornography/sex/sexual fantasy and etc. I feel like it would be a good place to pose my mental ramblings to whoever is out there reading

Comments

[chaoskitty]

I don't believe in "if I like it and you enjoy doing it to me that means you better enjoy having it done to you"
everyone has different tastes and if a girl like swallowing does not mean that it is unfair if her guy does not like swallowing or tasting his own ejaculate. It does not mean that she is a "receptacle" for ejaculate.
Most women I know enjoy swallowing in fact I don't think I could find one in my circle of friends/acquaintances that doesn't (at least amongst the hetro ones)
doe this make them a cum bucket to do something they like just because there guy doesn't like it also?
I hardly see the logic in that.

now if they girl thought it was yuky and the guy expected her to do it anyway then that is a problem.

on to your other question I know many men that have no problem what ever with tasting their own ejaculate or kissing a girl after she swallows. I know many guys that enjoy their own cum and even get off on it.

[soybean589]

But what if the guy thinks it's gross, but he lets the girl do it? It's a little too convenient for him that the girl actually likes to do it.

[freebirdpat]

I think with some men. They may be inclined to think if they taste their own cum, and like it, it makes them gay. Or doing that type of thing may make them gay. I think this is where the "yuck" factor may come in.

[chaoskitty]

why is it too convenient? He likes her doing it, she likes to do it, everyone wins...I really don't see the problem here. I think oranges are gross but I let my boyfriend eat them. I do not consider him an orange receptacle.

if you want to keep the analogy sexual... I think eating pussy is gross. I have tryed, I hate the taste of it, not for me. My boyfriend LOVES it, he gets pleasure from it. Should I deny him the pleasure of doing it just because I myself don't like to do it? Does it degrade him to have him go down on me because I wouldn't want to scoop up a handful of my own juices and lick away?

[drapette]

I kind of agree with you (if I've understood your opinion correctly, that is). I had a conversation with a male friend (I'm a female) about kissing after oral sex, and his reaction was, "Ew, I don't want my own junk in my mouth," which did strike me odd. I think there's a bit of a misogynistic undertone to that mentality - as if to say, "It's good enough for your mouth, but it's not good enough for mine."

[soybean589]

Thank you. That's kind of what I was trying to say in not-so-eloquent terms.

[jamesuk]

I think a lot of the problem is however that once most men have finished, the desire will actually decrease. Similar to that old "roll off and go to sleep" story.

Whereas women have that natural way of being able to continue on and on and on and.... ahh bloody women :p

[mamasboo]

Yeah I see your point here. It's like he expects it from a woman (are we all being programmed to "like" the semen just for his sake or do women genuinely like it?) Is it about him and putting his wants above ours? Hmm.

[vespa_fucker]

You say I've always been a big believer that people should only "dish out what they can take."

Just curious. If a man gives a girl oral sex, does one touch yourself with their fingers and taste them afterwards to taste vaginal discharge?
The same rules apply to females as well as males. I can certainly comprehend why a male doesn't want to taste his own juice after thinking about what I, as a female, would feel about ingesting my own discharge.

[sullyvespertine]

I don't think it's a matter of whether a female LIKES swallowing. Even if she doesn't, she'll swallow for the sake of being a better lover. If she doesn't, she's automatically, subconsciously placed into a subgroup that's considered to be an inferior lover in comparison to a female that swallows.

It's as if swallowing goes without saying. If a guy won't go out of his way to please, then.. I don't see the equality.

[neptunenobody]

agreed!

[mamasboo]

Whose criteria are we going for, anyway? We have an invisible list of things we're now obligated to do or we somehow fail at sex? Ugh.

[giselamylove]

I can't help thinking that this growing habit of ejaculating into women's mouths is only developing because it's been such a predominant part of hardcore porn movies. And the fact that contemporary porn movies revel in sobordinating and objectify women and female lust is quite obvious, isn't it?
Ejaculating in woman's mouth along with anal sex etc. are typical examples for this lopsided way of sex that is depicted in porn, which is all about male lust and power, and woman being man's little sex-object. Man works on woman, woman is worked on.
So, yes, I think that in the way it is depicted in porn it's a misogynist way of female degradation. But maybe I'm a bit harsh.

[brain_ejection]

I don't think you're being harsh, I agree with you!

[blueraptor]

I agree fully as well. I feel that a man wanting oral sex, wanting to come into a woman's mouth, is the most one sided and selfish sex act along with 'titty****ing'. I cannot stand the taste of the stuff, I will not stand for 'give me a blow job'. I get no joy from it unless lock jaw is sexy. The taste- horrendous. If you like doing it, fine. That's your choice. I just feel that it's disrespectful for a man to think that a woman has to swallow the stuff if he doesn't even want to taste his own spunk once. I know what my fluids taste like. So why can't he?

I just feel it's degrading to women that we are depicted as 'cock hungry' and love the taste of it. And men think that women want the stuff all over them and in their hair and on their boobs and in their eyes and mouth and in giant buckets full of the stuff.

[mamasboo]

Holy wow, you really hit the nail on the head. There was a book I read I think it was called Pornified (??) where the author talked about how men learn how to have sex through pornography and then expect the things they see in films to happen in real life. To me, that's like watching Superman, then putting o9n a red cape and expecting to be able to fly. I personally don't believe in doing everything you see in a film, whether it's a porn film or a mainstream one. Some things are supposed to be either fantasy or shall we say, "left to the professionals." I actually RESENT being asked for certain sex acts simply because the man has watched it happen in porn. Women are continually doing whatever men ask of them because men seem to matter more. It's like it's too much to ask a man to help you have an orgasm, but he expects you to swing from the chandeliers for his practically guaranteed orgasm, anyway