(Untitled)

[sans_eyepatch]

[When the island bestows gifts upon its inhabitants, there's always reasonable cause for concern. Anyone whose spent a month or more here is well aware that the island is sentient, and moreover, a complete sadist. The gift it has granted the island today is a nice, unassuming outdoor café of sorts, offering delicious pastries and coffee (or hot

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[aquaboss]

[Archie's almost been tempted into grabbing something ridiculously sweet, but... well, it's not exactly the healthiest choice now is it? Instead he's been staring at those Audinos and wondering if any of them are that one he met the other day...]

[At least until he spies a very familiar red-haired not-rival. What are you even doing here, Maxie. Clearly the only suitable option is to throw a shark at you approach.]

Didn't think you'd be interested in this sorta thing. [Are you seriously considering those disgusting-looking donuts? Seriously? They're coated in sugar and icing and sugar and that is going to give you a heart attack, man.]

[aquaboss]

[Well no, but...! You're a difficult one to pin down-- Oh not like that!]

[...That's your answer? What kind of an answer is that!? There had better not be anyone watching because this is so awkward. He's never going to live this down.]

Speak for yourself. [This does not feel nice at all. You're crazy and you're way too close for comfort. How does he know you're not going to go psychopathic and kill him, huh!?]

[oceansbane]

[archie

hey

hey archie

do him a favor

shut your brain off

and just let him nuzzle you a bit

okay?

okay]

[aquaboss]

[B-but that's impossible when it's you. You always make him feel dumb when he does that.]

[...Fine. You can hug on him until he can find some method of escape. Just. Don't expect him to hug you back.]

[oceansbane]

[That works!

...so much cuddling and nuzzling his head into your shoulder, okay.

...he's totally not kissing your neck, that's a figment of your imagination.]

[aquaboss]

[...Whatever parasite has invaded your brain can you please pass it over here because this is not happening.]

[Yep, pretty sure his brain just shut down for good. Thanks, Maxie.]

[oceansbane]

[Well, passing it over implies some things that you might not have wanted to imply, there, but...dear lord, what has gotten into him

...oh well.

He won't be kissing you for very long, really, he seems more content to just snuggle up close to you and nestle his head into your shoulder a bit. So. So nice.]

[aquaboss]

[That is not what he meant and you know it--!]

[Okay, the snuggling is... ridiculous, but it's better than the kissing so. For now he'll just... deal with it. Which is terribly difficult because what.]

[...Just don't fall asleep on him or he is so dumping you in the grass and running.]

[oceansbane]

[Mm, don't worry, he won't - he doesn't trust you nearly enough to fall asleep in your presence.

...just enough to cuddle with you, apparently. What even.]

[aquaboss]

[There's only one explanation for this. He probably should have come up with it long before now.]

[The island. It's clearly the island's fault. Why the island would choose to screw with them, he's got no idea. But that doesn't matter because at least that explains things. So how exactly did the island invade Maxie's brain and make him decide that this was a decent idea?]

You're not gonna get off me any time soon, are you?

[oceansbane]

Why should I?

[Despite the fact that his words and tone sound rather defiant, his grip tightens a bit, almost as though he expects you to try to force him to and he doesn't...exactly want to go anywhere.

Make of it as you will.]

[aquaboss]

Because this is awkward?

[Are you seriously clinging to him? Oh man. Well. Maybe he can put up with this for long enough and the island will just... stop eating your brain or something. Then he can laugh at you for once. This sounds like a perfectly acceptable plan! Almost as acceptable as raising Kyogre from the sea and flooding the earth!]

[oceansbane]

Oh, I won't disagree with that. It's just pleasant for now - I imagine it'll be rather humiliating after the fact.

[Well, that just means he'll have to mount a massive force to stop you, then! And then once he defeats you, he can cuddle with you all he wants. Or kill you. Or both! Fuck yeah! \o/

...uh, there...was a metaphor in there somewhere...]

[aquaboss]

Yeah...

[For you! He is just going to laugh at you so much. Every time. Middle of a Pokemon battle? After you've murdered his Cloyster with that damn Swellow again? Yep. Any chances of him taking you seriously have disappeared.]

[...Except for the whole you can and might kill him thing.]

[Also your metaphor is awful and you should feel awful.]

Though why the hell did you have to cling to me?

[oceansbane]

[...don't worry, actually, he has a comeback for you if you ever do bring this up.]

...I'm hardly clinging, Archie, don't flatter yourself.

[except for that part

that part didn't happen]

[aquaboss]

[...Not looking forward to that at all, actually.]

Mm, nope, you're definitely clinging.

[Let's try this out, then! If you're not clinging, you'll let him pry you off, right? He's totally trying that now.]