(Untitled)

[sans_eyepatch]

[When the island bestows gifts upon its inhabitants, there's always reasonable cause for concern. Anyone whose spent a month or more here is well aware that the island is sentient, and moreover, a complete sadist. The gift it has granted the island today is a nice, unassuming outdoor café of sorts, offering delicious pastries and coffee (or hot

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[aquaboss]

[Archie's almost been tempted into grabbing something ridiculously sweet, but... well, it's not exactly the healthiest choice now is it? Instead he's been staring at those Audinos and wondering if any of them are that one he met the other day...]

[At least until he spies a very familiar red-haired not-rival. What are you even doing here, Maxie. Clearly the only suitable option is to throw a shark at you approach.]

Didn't think you'd be interested in this sorta thing. [Are you seriously considering those disgusting-looking donuts? Seriously? They're coated in sugar and icing and sugar and that is going to give you a heart attack, man.]

[oceansbane]

[EXACTLY!

um i mean]

...well, then. I suppose you don't know me very well, do you.

[aquaboss]

Guess not. [Eh, been through this before. Not interested in picking a fight about it.] Didn't think you'd be all that interested in sweets of all things. [It's kind of amusing, actually.]

[oceansbane]

Mm, is that so?

[Admittedly, he's only half paying attention at this point. Those donuts really do look amazingly gross, given how absolutely inundated in sugar they are - so of course, it's just a matter of figuring out which one he's taking.]

[aquaboss]

Yeah. It just doesn't seem...

[You're seriously considering taking one of those, aren't you.]

...Whatever; not my place to judge. [Though he is so side-eying you from over here.]

[oceansbane]

Mm, I'll agree with you on that last one.

[...oh, that one looks positively sickening, icing everywhere -

DONUT GET

CLEARLY, A WINNER IS ME]

[aquaboss]

[Oh dear Kyogre, that's the worst one of the bunch! If you have a heart-attack he is not saving your life.]

[...Well, maybe. But that's not the point! You just keep doing your thing over there, he's going to back away slowly...]

[oceansbane]

[Does sugar even cause heart attacks? Diabetes, surely, but aren't heart attacks caused by...what even causes heart attacks anyway? Dammit, Jim Archie, he's an ecoterrorist, not a doctor!

He'll just be taking a bite of that, closing his eyes in what looks like sheer euphoric bliss for a moment before they slide open again, slowly; no really, Archie, you have to try one of these things - ]

...going somewhere?

[aquaboss]

[Implying that Archie understands this any better, Maxie? Because that would be a dreadful overestimate of Archie's abilities.]

[Yeah, and that expression? Cannot unsee, thanks a lot Maxie. Now Archie has a better idea of what you look like when you're sleeping with your rival-- dammit why did you just put that mental image in his head, this is all your fault.]

Yeah, I was gonna leave you two alone. [Escape attempt failed!]

[oceansbane]

[Wow, apparently he's trained you into some bizarre Pavlovian response without even trying. He trolls even when he's not trolling! Well done, self!

...but yeah, that attempt failed quite badly, actually, given that he's now approaching. Finishing off another bite of that donut in the process.]

Don't worry, Archie, you aren't interrupting anything.

[He's. Not quite stopping even after his usual bubble of personal space has well collapsed in on itself due to contact with yours. Um.

Ah, whatever. You don't mind that do you of course you don't]

[aquaboss]

[You're trolling him inside his own mind how are you doing this ffffuuu--]

[Uh oh, that doesn't sound good. Baaacking up now. You can just stay in your own personal bubble-- that apparently doesn't exist anymore. Great. So um. Hi there. Do you mind backing up a little? You're beginning to make Archie uncomfortable.]

Uh huh. [This is the most skeptical look he can manage at the moment because why are you so close are you able to read his thoughts or something. Clearly this is just an elaborate way to troll.]

[oceansbane]

[In Soviet Russia, rival trolls you?]

Relax, hm~?

[And with that he'll be reaching out and slipping one of his arms around Archie's waist (the one involving the hand, uh, not occupied by that donut, because it really is a very good donut and he isn't about to waste it by dropping the thing) - the gesture is loose at first, though he pulls him closer rather quickly, pressing up against him and leaning into Archie's body.

And that's...about it, really. The action isn't threatening, nor is it overtly sexual; he's just kind of hugging the guy or something. And he seems both pretty content to leave it at that, and generally not too prone to going anywhere anytime soon.

...yep.]

[aquaboss]

[...More like everywhere, but okay.]

[And then Maxie is telling him to relax and this is not going to end well--]

[...Oh. It seems that Maxie just wants a hug or something.]

[--Wait what. That makes even less sense!]

Uh... What... [Yeah, there are no words.]

[oceansbane]

[You, sir, are very comfortable. And might as well have not said anything, for all the verbal response you're getting. Rather, he'll just be kind of tightening his hold a bit in what is most definitely not cuddling with you, thank you very much.

...ugh, this is going to be embarrassing later, isn't it]

[aquaboss]

[Implying that it's not embarrassing now? Because it really is.]

[But really. What are you even doing. This isn't normal for you, is it? Please say it isn't. Please say it's the island doing something depraved and retarded to you. That would be completely acceptable at the moment because what even.]

...What are you doing. [Seriously, you are just weirding him out on so many levels here.]

[oceansbane]

[...Archie, has he ever done this to you before...?]

Mm?

[Just. Looking up at you for a moment and damn, the eye contact only makes him want to lavish more positive and completely awkward attention on you, so he'll just be going back to cuddling with you, okay.]

I don't know, Archie, but it feels nice...