[He’s got burn marks on his arms and face. His clothes are scorched. His gloves are in tatters.
No, Red hasn’t been fighting anyone. He isn’t in trouble.
Red has been baking.]
…Just what am I doing wrong…?
[That delicious plate of cookies he’s holding? Yeah, that’s definitely from the café. The ones Red made nearly burned his house down. Why
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[Thankfully he doesn't have Tentacruel Hydro Pump the place down when he first arrives, otherwise you'd probably be in a lot more pain. Instead he actually bothers to look through the window and...]
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[Hey there, hopping through your window now because doors are for squares.]
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Hi! I...I'm not very good at this, sorry. Do you want a cookie? [A beat.] ...They're not mine, I promise.
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Yeah, I can tell. Alright, let's start by treatin' those burns of yours. [Archie naturally doesn't know much about burns, but those don't look too severe.] Go get some ice to put on those, kid. Now lemme see... [Examining your oven now, don't mind him. Huh, there is batter everywhere. You don't really expect to cook in an environment like this, do you? Archie will make sure the stove is off before checking the inside and tsking again. This is horrible.]
This place is a wreck - how long've you been tryin' to cook anyway? [And now you have the Team Aqua boss cleaning your kitchen. How do you do this, Red, seriously.]
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I've been doing it for a few hours...I tried three batches before I went to the café instead. [Red's going to double take now though because dude are you really cleaning his kitchen...?] Y-You don't have to do that! I'll clean it, really.
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Next time you're gonna wanna set the temperature lower an' leave 'em in there for less time. I'll show you. Now gimme a hand here.
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It's not that hard. You wanna make sure you're gettin' all the caked-on stuff out - that's what caused all the smoke. Didn't breathe in too much of it, did you?
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[He shakes his head, to clear it, then steps forward.]
No, I didn't breathe in too much, I think. What do I clean it with?
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[Red doesn't dwell on it too much, which Archie is grateful for, and finally comes forward to help him.] Get a scrub brush - you have another one, right? - an' lets work on gettin' the easiest stuff out first.
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Here we go! Okay... [Red gets on his knees and starts to scrub at the caked-on Cookies That Never Were.]
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Put your back into it! [And have an encouraging slap on the back. Which is really kind of abusive considering Archie's strength. Whoops.]
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All right, I'll try harder... [AND NOW WE SCRUB with our stupid weak muscle arms]
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[Kid, you're almost pathetically weak. You might have to be subjected to Archie's daily training regime.]
You don't really work on trainin' yourself, do you? [Just snickering over here. Don't mind him.]
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