my life, in several bullet points

[pocky_slash]

Okay. Promised real life update.

• There is a new job. I think I am doing okay? It's been pretty busy the past couple weeks and I think I am doing an okay job keeping my head above water, but sometimes it's hard to tell. I still panic about some things. And I'm totally afraid of fucking it up, but I'm pretty much constantly afraid of fucking up

Comments

[heddychaa]

I feel you on the writing thing. I get physically anxious if I don't feel like I'm writing "enough". Like, antsy, can't keep my hands still, agitated. HOW HEALTHY AND WELL-ADJUSTED AM I

[pocky_slash]

Yeah, Becca makes fun of me because I'll be like, "I HAVE WRITER'S BLOCK!" even though I just wrote something two days before, but it's like a constant thing. I get nervous if I'm not working on something, even if I have no deadlines and I just posted something the day before. Even that week in August when I posted five stories totaling ~51k words over the course of five days, once I finished there was a definite, "Okay, now what, I need to be doing something!" feeling to the whole thing.

My brain. What even.

[insomniac_tales]

I'm having similar issues with writing. The words are there but they're not coming out. I can't tell what's hindering my productivity either. But you know, these things have a way of working back around. You'll be cranking out high loads of quality stuff again in no time.

[pocky_slash]

First I was having trouble verbalizing and now I just don't have the time or the energy. It sucks. That's the worst part about being sick--I want to go to bed at 9:30 every night and I never find time to write, even when I have words :(

[insomniac_tales]

Feel better soon.

[coffeesuperhero]

I think a nice wedge heel is just fine for outdoor weddings-- I've done that at quite a few outdoor shindigs and never had any trouble. Pointier heels could be trouble, but I've never sunk into the ground on wedges. :D /unnecessary and unsolicited shoe advice

But I do love the idea of champagne flats. Sooooooo.

I only write in short little concentrated bursts of activity these days, and the minute anybody likes my stories I get horrible performance anxiety and don't want to write anything. I'll take, Reasons I Will Never Actually Be A Famous Writer for $1000, please, Alex. Sigh.

[pocky_slash]

I actually have trouble walking in wedge heels sometimes? idek, it's so weird, I am okay at regular heels (I was REALLY GOOD when I was working at EF and wearing them on a regular basis, but a summer of only wearing canvas flats and never leaving the house has robbed me of that), but wedge heels throw me off.

I'm going to see if they have the flats at DSW tomorrow because they really are adorbs, I'm just not sure if they go with my dress? I'm terrible at matching, sometimes D:

I've been having a good summer, productivity wise, obviously, but this working fulltime thing is balls as far as writing goes. I'm so tired when I get home! D:

[analineblue]

I totally have the same problems with writing. I've completely failed at getting anything out all week and it's making me CRAZY. @_@

Also. That bus experience? *shudders* I get phantom buses all the time that show up on NextBus on my phone, and it's so weird, to see it approaching...approaching and then *poof* nothing. :P I've also had it happen where it's clearly tracking a bus, and that bus comes past, but with like, weird lettering on the front where the bus info is supposed to be? And then it doesn't stop? XD; But sometimes there are people on it, or it'll say something like "no passengers" but there are clearly passengers on it? SO WEIRD. But your experience is definitely weirder. ;)

[/rambling] @_@

[pocky_slash]

I finally wrote two little parts of a five things fic on Monday and a little bit of our big bang on Tuesday, but it's still not enough and not fast enough for my liking :\

NextBus is both a blessing and a curse. I don't even know what time my bus is actually scheduled to come in the mornings. I just get dressed, turn on my computer, open NextBus, and leave whenever I see that it's close. When it stops working I just don't know what to do anymore! XD

[afrocurl]

[info]littledust pointed out that the point between rage and serenity is apparently Hanukkah, and that pretty much made the night, so.

I think B and I said the same thing as we watched on Saturday night, too! Good for me to know for later, I swear.

Might actually use that during Hanukkah, so there's that.

--

Just so you know, my looking forward to your Big Bang is pretty epic. Even if there is angst, I'm all for it because those little mutants with macaroni project for Mr Erik are too precious.

[pocky_slash]

We're pretty excited about it! I'll be kind of relieved when it's done so I can work on other projects guilt-free, but there are some cool developments coming up :D