my life, in several bullet points

[pocky_slash]

Okay. Promised real life update.

• There is a new job. I think I am doing okay? It's been pretty busy the past couple weeks and I think I am doing an okay job keeping my head above water, but sometimes it's hard to tell. I still panic about some things. And I'm totally afraid of fucking it up, but I'm pretty much constantly afraid of fucking up something in my life, so that's not entirely news. My boss is cool and brilligspoons and her boss are also pretty cool, and the rest of my co-workers (I work for two departments) are tolerable, so it could be worse.
  
  Also, you know. Paycheck.
  
  
• Last weekend we had a Mutant Day party! It went well, I think. There was much squeeing and I finally met littledust who is a delight. I also met Margaret's roommate Carolina, who is also pretty cool, and some other people. I ate a lot of pie. littledust pointed out that the point between rage and serenity is apparently Hanukkah, and that pretty much made the night, so.
  
  
• I've been struggling with writing lately. I always feel guilty when I talk about struggling with writing because I know, for some people, writing 1500 words of mediocre stuff in three days is commendable. But, you know, I'm used to a much higher output than that and when I start to peter out, I panic. Like I am sort of doing now. Although at least, at the moment, I feel like the words are in my brain even if my schedule this week doesn't give me a ton of time to work on putting them on paper. Soon, hopefully. I might dedicate all of Saturday that I don't spend sleeping to writing.
  
  
• I'm very behind on Doctor Who. My brain just doesn't want to injest new media right now and when I have a couple hours to myself that I'm not spending trying to write, I mostly want to read or sleep or veg and not use my computer to watch a show. I almost wish I was back in Jersey, as my parents now get BBC America and I'd have less of a problem if I could multi-task while watching. SIGH. MY BRAIN. HOW DOES IT WORK? But I am going to try and get caught up this weekend, so... fingers crossed.
  
  
• This Sunday we are going apple-picking and to have dinner with people I don't know. I'm hoping that the first part will help temper the EXTREME CRIPPLING ANXIETY I am already feeling about the latter :\ Ugh. Feelings. Other human beings. Why is my life so hard?
  
  
• saidlian_nataly is getting married in like, two weeks. My brain can't even handle it. I bought a dress last weekend and I am looking at shoes now. There's a pair I really liked at DSW, so I might take a walk over there on my lunch break either today or tomorrow. They are shiny champagne colored flats. (I've been advised against wearing heels as everything is outside.)
  
  
• Um, Becca is fine, family is fine, I am fine? Ish? My head is full of snot. In fact, our entire cube is filled with people who have heads full of snot. Last night I only slept in forty-five minute increments because I kept slipping off the giant pile of pillows I had propping me up. The problem with slipping off, of course, is that I then begin to drown in my own snot and, you know, wake up. Lame.
  
  
• Our Big Bang is going okay? I don't doubt we'll be able to finish it. It's going to be a shorter story than we anticipated, I think, but with room for growth if we finish way before the deadline and want to add more. We need to have 16k by Monday and I think we ended around 14k last night? It's probably going to be close to 25k overall. We have four major scenes to write yet, some filler, and then odds and ends that we may want to add. It's probably the saddest story so far in the verse, even though most of it is extremely fluffy and happy and it has a happy ending. Little nuggets of angst are deceptively nestled inside.
  
  
• Oh man, my purgatory bus! This one is long, so I'll cut it.
  
  SO. I woke up and it was kind of misty and foggy and weird and everything was a little off, including my brain. As I was getting ready for work, my bus abruptly disappeared from NextBus.com. Usually when this happens, it reappears after a few minutes as that generally means that one of the GPS trackers is down and the bus will reappear as it approaches the next one. This morning, however, it never reappeared. I ended up doing the math and figuring out when it was supposed to come based on the last reading and heading over there for that time.
  
  There was one other dude waiting at the bus stop and my phone still wasn't showing a bus approaching. I was getting a little nervous, but then a bus appeared! But it said "NOT IN SERVICE" and it was dark. It stopped at our bus stop, though, and I got on, but it was weirdly quiet. Also, none of the electrics inside (like the ticket reader) were working and the driver was on the phone (not his cellphone, some weird phone actually hooked into the bus?) and ignored us when we got on.
  
  We sort of drifted along the route for a while in weird silence, until we passed a bus pulled over on the side of the road. Our bus ALSO pulled over to the side of the road and the driver jumped out and walked away.
  
  It was at this point that I was pretty sure I had drowned in my own snot during the night and was actually on a bus in purgatory or something. The driver stayed out there for five minutes, long enough for me to take my headphones off. When he finally came back, one of the guys from the other bus was with him.
  
  "Are any of you going to Kendall?" he asked.
  
  Kendall was the end of the line and also the closest place to get the train so most of us were and it felt like a weird question. I was pretty sure he was going to tell us we would never get there or something, but he just asked the guy sitting closest to the driver if he could direct the driver to Kendall.
  
  We did eventually get there and I got a train into work and everything but the whole thing was vaguely creepy and kind of hilarious, at least at the time.
  
  
• Tonight we are going to see Allie Moss, Bess Rogers, and Ian Axel. I've made the executive decision to drive, even though the traffic will be horrendous, because taking mass transit home at 10:30 pm when I am full of snot does not seem like something I want to do right now.

Not much else is happening in my life? I wish I had more time to sleep.