baby light a candle, say prayer for me......

i'm feeling down.  really down. crying.  miserable.  alone, lonely.  no one to really talk to.  no one who wants to listen. but what's new.  i hate being alone. i hate crying.  it's weak.  fucking weak.  why can't i feel happy?  am i not aloud?  why is everything seem so fucked up right now?  why am i 22, broke, in debt, living with my ex's family ( Read more... )

my truck broke down again.  it won't start. i got it back this afternoon. drove it once and it died.  fuck.  damn it.  bull shit.  it will be fixed or blood will be let.  this is beyond pissing me off. Mario said that he might give me therapy tomorrow.  i need it.  i need the needles caressing willing flesh.  i want to feel the burn, the exquisite ( Read more... )

Who's a sexy bitch? not me. lol. would be nice though. lol.  i should take more pictures of myself.  maybe some riske' ones.  all of those kind that i do have are old.  from like god 4 years ago.  just need to find someone to take them.  This abominal weather is killing my sinuses.  sun, no sun, warm not so warm. make up my mind.  First song i ( Read more... )

look, it's another friday night spent in front of the computer. i totally forgot there was a punk show tonight.  damn it.  i wanted to go. i'll just go to the metal show tomorrow.  alone.  as in by myself.  as in loser. i filled out a questioner. one of the questions asked if i cried alot.   i said no. crying is a weakness. never show anyone you ( Read more... )

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I got my stomach tattoo started last night.  The outlining is done.  Damn it's big!!  Kinda hurt too!   I love it.  I'll have to get a picture of it.  Yeah, needed some anger management last night, so I had Leo tattoo my stomach.  I needed the anger mamagment because of you know who.  I thought his excuse genuine, but Tony said, no--he's just ( Read more... )

The clock of life is wound but once, and NO man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop.  At late or early hour. Now is the only time you own. Live, love, toil with a will. Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still.

Pluck the petals of our Youth

Coat them in Guilt and Regret

Breach the beyond--that rift between the years

Explore the mind of Love that has gone feeble with age

Ease the arthritic hands that hold Remorse captive

Grind the bones of Father Time into the sands that erode stone that is the heart

This heart called to rest,

once spoke your name

These eyes have shown our prophesies,

now untold

The gentle breeze my wings once glided upon,

now blows fiercely to ground my soul

I feast on shards of broken glass to cease my hunger for you

My bed of nails,

soaked in blood for restless dreams of you