hell.....
i'm feeling down. really down. crying. miserable. alone, lonely. no one to really talk to. no one who wants to listen. but what's new. i hate being alone. i hate crying. it's weak. fucking weak. why can't i feel happy? am i not aloud? why is everything seem so fucked up right now? why am i 22, broke, in debt, living with my ex's family? i want to be on my own. i want someone to love me. or atleast pretend enough to make me feel better. i hurt. bad. why am i so fucking ugly? why? tell me god dammit. why can't i succeed. why am i failing. why do i care. i was born fucked and i will die fucked. alone and unwanted. why was i ever born? why am i here. why don't i just give up. give in. i want to give in. i really do. but i couldn't do that. i don't want to make people hurt. it's okay to sit here and hurt. but to hurt other people? that's just wrong. i just want to be happy. that's all.