into the devil's mouth

[phoenix_moth]

I came out of the shower freshly scrubbed and feeling somewhat nice; I stood still for a long while and just let the water pound my back and neck and shoulders, didn't think about anything in particular. Just me and surging spray and ugly green tile, and very bad lighting.
I came out, splashed on some of my grandfather's aftershave again. Felt good

Comments

[speachlesstiger]

mews... maybe...
Step 1: stash/take laptop with you.
Step 2: Dick off somewhere?

made of glass

[phoenix_moth]

i haven't got anywhere to go.
i can't drive
i can hardly tell directions
i don't have a job or anything but a handful of silver and a mason jar of pennies
and no matter how far away i ever run i'm always going to end up right back where is tarted because i'm just that fucking stupid.

Re: made of glass

[speachlesstiger]

I meant like dick off for the weekend. try to spend a lot of time at Chris' maybe? or something.... mews... I wanna help so much but... I realize there is so little I can actually do to make a real difference for you...

Re: made of glass

[phoenix_moth]

That's not true.
and I think you really need to be able to understand two things:
A) Christina's mother won't let me past their threshold because she hates my mother.
B) With my mother there is no escape.
No one, not you specifically, can help where she's concerned. I can't learn to drive because she can't/won't teach me, can't run anywhere because she pays for all my shit and I have no job, can't dick off because Epiphani doesn't do what mom says = epiphani's laptop gets taken away = epiphani loses his fucking mind because the only good things in epiphani's life are related to that laptop.

so unlike christina i can't just say no and walk off and not come home to punishment. I will be punished .

I'm sorry that it has to make you feel bad.
you help me inside.
that's good enough for me.