How do you let go of the past?

[phoenix1081]

Hello!

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday! (I know it's not over quite yet!)

bodpod thanks for the e-card hun! it was lovely! Sorry for not sending you one... um...i have no decent excuses

Comments

[spikeluva]

I have no idea what to say. Has he changed? If you guys have been friends for so long, why not say something to him?

I understand that him lying to you hurts so much and since you're still close (right?) that you don't know what's true and what's a lie anymore. I'd talk to him. It's the only thing I'd do. *hugs*

[phoenix1081]

Yeah, he's changed loads! The reason i can't just get it all in the open is, I live in London, He's in Scotland, he has a very jealous partner and he not very good with serious situations!

All he does is either makes a joke out of everything or tells me to stop dwelling on the past!

I'm a really emotional person! I find it difficult letting go, i don't know how too! lol

::Hugs:: sweetie

[phoenix1081]

Believe it or not, but he is a part of my present and hopefully a part of my future...

I refuse to lose him over the past, the part that hurt was that he lied about it all, for years... I just want the lies to not hurt anymore, cause i know that he'll never stop lying to me, in one way or another...

::shrugs & sighs::

::Hugs::

[phoenix1081]

Oh and thankyou for the compliment! ::smiles:: I don't get a lot of those ::grins::

::Hugs again::

[dogmeatnyc]

*hugs* I don't know how one forgets someone that they loved that much once.

[phoenix1081]

::hugs back:: I'm never gonna forget him, he's a really good friend! I just want to get to a place that his lies won't hurt as much anymore!

::sigh::

[dogmeatnyc]

*hugs*

[_cinnamongirl_]

Oh, I feel you on this... It almost hurts more to find out about a betrayal long after you should, because you've lost your chance to properly react.

But above all, I want to say this - the fact that he strayed doesn't mean he didn't love you, or care about you, or that you weren't important to him. More than likely, it simply meant that, at sixteen or seventeen years old, he simply wasn't capable of the maturity required to be monogamous. He was a few years older than you, and surrounded by another lifestyle while at college, and probably seeking to prove things to himself and see just how much he could get away with. Selfish of him? Very. But not uncommon. Just try to believe, as I'm sure it's true, that his intent was never to hurt you.

I know that doesn't make it less painful, but it is something you need to let go of. You are both older and wiser, and in different relationships, you with two children. You are at a different place in your life now, and dwelling on this is only going to bring you pain. You have to

[phoenix1081]

::huggles you tightly:: I've missed you!

It's not the fact that he cheated, i can understand that, he was young and needed to experience life a bit more... It's the fact that he lied about it for years after, that's the part i can't understand!

And as for the maturity issue, i think it's still a problem, due to him still cheating now (as in snogging and groping, not sex! it's always been a problem for him!)

The sad thing is, he's only two years older then i am... (Well, they always did say that girls mature quicker then boys...lol)

As for our friendship, I hope that isn't gonna be a problem, he's the only really good friend i have left... I don't want to lose him! He means too much to me.

And strangely enough, i am over it already, i'm in the curious stage of it all...(as in, wanting to now which area he was really in when he lied, and if he knows any of my old childhood friends! lol)

::smiles::

[dogmeatnyc]

I think he didn't want to hurt you so he lied.

[bodpod]

You're welcome for the card, sweetie. Don't worry that you didn't send one back. I don't send them to get them - I send them 'cause I like the people I'm sending them to