How do you let go of the past?
Hello!
Hope you all had a wonderful holiday! (I know it's not over quite yet!)
bodpod thanks for the e-card hun! it was lovely! Sorry for not sending you one... um...i have no decent excuses...;)
How does the past still have so much power over me? I mean it was almost nine years ago, and it's still painful...
I've just found out that my ex cheated on me, i mean i know that he cheated a couple of times, but i just found out that it happened more times then i knew! Alright, he was 16-17, he obviously needed to play the field more... I can understand that! I needed to try more then one guy when i reached that age... but i don't understand the need for continuous cheating! If he needed his space, why not tell me and end things instead?
There was a point in our relationship where he said that he was hanging out with a friend from his college once a week, and me being the type of person that believes in spending time with friends, didn't think anything of it, now i've just found out that was mostly a lie...
::sighs:: I wanted to cry! It just hurt that he obviously didn't care for me as much as he always said he did! And i was stupid and naive enough to fool for it!
So, my question is, how do i completely let go of it all? How can i get to the point where, if he slips up again i won't feel like i've been betrayed? He's supposed to be a friend, i've known him for 12 years (in a couple of months), I was in a relationship with him for almost four of those years... He was my first in everything... my first love, my first lover, the first person to get me pregnant (i had an abortion, i was 13) I thought he cared for me, maybe even loved me... Now i realise that i never really knew him at all! Oh god! I was really naive! ::hides in shame::
This needs to end! Now! I really need to know how to let go of all this completely! How do i get him out of my heart?
::sighs::
Please, if you can help, i'd really appreciate it!
Thanks! ::Huggles f'list::
Hope you all had a wonderful holiday! (I know it's not over quite yet!)
bodpod thanks for the e-card hun! it was lovely! Sorry for not sending you one... um...i have no decent excuses...;)
How does the past still have so much power over me? I mean it was almost nine years ago, and it's still painful...
I've just found out that my ex cheated on me, i mean i know that he cheated a couple of times, but i just found out that it happened more times then i knew! Alright, he was 16-17, he obviously needed to play the field more... I can understand that! I needed to try more then one guy when i reached that age... but i don't understand the need for continuous cheating! If he needed his space, why not tell me and end things instead?
There was a point in our relationship where he said that he was hanging out with a friend from his college once a week, and me being the type of person that believes in spending time with friends, didn't think anything of it, now i've just found out that was mostly a lie...
::sighs:: I wanted to cry! It just hurt that he obviously didn't care for me as much as he always said he did! And i was stupid and naive enough to fool for it!
So, my question is, how do i completely let go of it all? How can i get to the point where, if he slips up again i won't feel like i've been betrayed? He's supposed to be a friend, i've known him for 12 years (in a couple of months), I was in a relationship with him for almost four of those years... He was my first in everything... my first love, my first lover, the first person to get me pregnant (i had an abortion, i was 13) I thought he cared for me, maybe even loved me... Now i realise that i never really knew him at all! Oh god! I was really naive! ::hides in shame::
This needs to end! Now! I really need to know how to let go of all this completely! How do i get him out of my heart?
::sighs::
Please, if you can help, i'd really appreciate it!
Thanks! ::Huggles f'list::