My freshman year of college I was so full of hope. All the memories that have stuck with me are permeated by the warmth and promise of it, even the ones in which I thought I was miserable, pining over the bigger and better things which I wanted so badly to believe would come. And though my everyday life was full of emotional struggle and confusion ( Read more... )

Sometimes I'll put on a pair of headphones and listen to a song over and over at high volume because I want the music to wrap me up and swallow me, to fill an internal vacuum. Classical music does this best, I've noted, though acoustic guitar or vocals in a minor key with piano accompaniment also often do the trick ( Read more... )

I don't remember ever being at a loss for something to do with a friend when I was a kid. There was no anxiety over the possibility of failure as Host nor self-consciousness about ideas for entertainment nor the bone-crushing ennui which renders most of my modern-day attempts at recreation colorless ( Read more... )

I'm on a pay-as-you-go computer on the second floor of the Dunkin' Donuts at Potsdamer Platz, and my computer has been good enough to keep resetting its time limit to 4 minutes, but I'm not sure how long that will last, so my reflections will be necessarily short ( Read more... )

I need to stop ( Read more... )

This morning at about 6:40 I was lying on my bed thinking about things and I realized that linguistic skill is, for me, very strongly associated with the outward measure of intelligence ( Read more... )

I came dangerously close to enlightenment last night. I'm not going to bother trying to explain unless you ask me specifically, though, because words make it sounds superficial. The feeling was wonderful.

I started my first online journal the summer before I became a junior in high school, and I stopped writing in it just before becoming a senior. I just went and re-read all the old entries I wrote there, and it was something of an embarrassing experience. I think I must've been far more insecure than I am these days, because every entry I wrote was ( Read more... )

This evening my friend Tom unwittingly became the target for my lingering, pent-up resentment toward Gaby over the whole party thing, which he dealt with pretty good-naturedly. He was asking for it, if I'm honest, because he was giving me a very detailed play-by-play of everything that happened while they were there, and I tried to take it but it ( Read more... )

Allyson made a post recently about her hopes and dreams, as she was directed to do by a chocolate wrapper. I have no chocolate wrapper compelling me but her post was inspiring all the same, and so here is a list of mine ( Read more... )