I have measured out my life with coffee spoons
My freshman year of college I was so full of hope. All the memories that have stuck with me are permeated by the warmth and promise of it, even the ones in which I thought I was miserable, pining over the bigger and better things which I wanted so badly to believe would come. And though my everyday life was full of emotional struggle and confusion and insecurity, it's that fragile and fluttering hope that draws me back and makes me yearn for freshman year with the most bittersweet of nostalgias. I feel flattened and diminished these days but back then the world was my oyster.
I was talking to my dad once and made a facetious comment about everyone liking Sadie better than me. I wasn't serious at all but he reacted as if he thought I was, and said with the greatest surprise and sincerity, "No, Lily, I think you're great...I want to be with you all the time."
Freshman year I considered that the best compliment I had ever received. Two years later I had forgotten it ever happened. I was reminded earlier while reading a comment I'd left on a friend's LJ and it scares me, not least because the memories of my dad are all I have left now. It's only been four years. What else will I forget in the course of my life that I never conveniently wrote down?
In any case I think I should go to bed now; I'm tired and blue.
I was talking to my dad once and made a facetious comment about everyone liking Sadie better than me. I wasn't serious at all but he reacted as if he thought I was, and said with the greatest surprise and sincerity, "No, Lily, I think you're great...I want to be with you all the time."
Freshman year I considered that the best compliment I had ever received. Two years later I had forgotten it ever happened. I was reminded earlier while reading a comment I'd left on a friend's LJ and it scares me, not least because the memories of my dad are all I have left now. It's only been four years. What else will I forget in the course of my life that I never conveniently wrote down?
In any case I think I should go to bed now; I'm tired and blue.