MY CHILD STOLE MY NOSE!

P.S. Adrian James Town was born at 11:02 p.m. on 6/5/2006. Woot.

My brother Conor informs me some of his friends are being told all about my sordid past. When I asked him what they had been told, I just laughed and laughed at the inaccuracy, exaggeration, and fabrication of most of it. Glad to see the mythical Chaske still lives.

First person to mention lightning bolts or some shit gets killed. AND I MEAN SERSLY. LIKE. SERSLY. KILLED. Game is like crack with an experience bar.

Now, given that this is one of my primary sources of my jokes and influence, this is hard for me to say, as I have to try and deviate from what I am about to rant about. But...isn't it about time we saw a new kind of humor rise up and take out all this fucking over thought out, oh-look-at-me-I'm-tongue-in-cheek-but-it's-intentional, overly self ( Read more... )

Everyone is smarter on alcohol. Everyone you can't stand, everyone you want to kill, well...on alcohol they're usually pretty nice. I knew this chick once who was a total cuntbag, but you get her loaded and she's your best friend, very talkative, introspective, and all around pleasant. Plus she liked to straddle you on her mother's leather couch. ( Read more... )

It's taken me a long time, and I realize now I should be more up front about what happened at my old apartment I shared with Schafer. What I haven't told anyone until now is I actually recorded our most infamous spat with a webcam, and have decided to post the video so the truth can be revealed. Leave a comment  8 

I'm going to talk about a subject that most people don't want to talk about. They like to joke about it, but no one really ever talks about it. The subject is...defecating. Or as most of us refer to it, shitting. Shitting is kind of like the big brown elephant in the room that no one is willing to talk about, except it doesn't have a trunk, and ( Read more... )

The only damn radio station around here that SOMETIMES plays decent music (besides the excellent classic rock station) has the unexcusable habit of not naming the bands and songs they just played. Now I understand that maybe the kids in the radio class are "non-conformists", that all have the same hair, tight pants, my chemical romance shirts, and ( Read more... )

Poor Livejournal...seems as if it's being phased out by that sad, fucking myspace drivel. People made fun of this place, but man, myspace is a whole new kind of stupid. But enough about that, you can see my comtempt for it there, not here. Let us concentrate on something a little more...entertaining. I have renewed interest in my book again, and ( Read more... )

If most scientists believe the universe is a curve, what grade do we get?