"Work"

[pezzae]

Chatting to a friend who is currently underemployed the other week, she said that she couldn't do what I did in being at home all day - she needs to work to keep herself sane

Comments

[originaluddite]

Nice closing line of your post - I feel that way about things I once studied and indeed things I have never formally studied.

I think the "I would be bored without work" is one of those memes that takes on a life of its own - a statement made without critically assessing it. You know - like the statement "yes but we _do_ need the rain" (yes but I can still be pissed getting stuck in it!).

[originaluddite]

I apologize for applying a generalization to your circumstances.

For all I know the other instances I have come across that have helped me form my opinion may also have had justifications for them that were never delved into.

[pezzae]

I hope the post didn't come across as me thinking that your comment was unjustified or silly or anything - as I said, I totally get the unemployed => depressed equation. It just made me think, because BC (before child!) I used to think that staying at home with a baby would have the same effect on me, and it hasn't.

[pyrrha17]

I envy you a little - I don't think I ever felt that endless fascination you have with Bridie. Part of me wonders if things would be different if I were to do it all again, from a more grown-up/older perspective. But then the majority of me if very very glad that it won't be happening and that the girls are now happily at school.

I'm not rushing out to find work, but I'm certainly making sure I take a block of time each day to do my things and leave the housework for a while. I kind of feel I deserve it after seven years!

[nessbrain]

In some ways I get what you feel regarding staying home with Bridie vs paid-working, on others I know that I had to get out of the house or I went mad. Most of that was eased by going out and seeing people but there was still a certain part of me that just needed to be back working on fine bench work and doing stuff with my hands that wasn't cleaning up baby puke, I think part of it was physical rather than mental really. That said, it's a bit difficult to take molecular biology bench work home so I wasn't able to get any work-like stimulation in my field from home ;) I'm certainly not so attached to work that I bring it home in any way though, the time at home with my boy is far preferable to being at work 95% of days!

I very much get the comments made by

[nessbrain]

Sorry, I've apparently forgotten how lj tags work...

[dzurlady]

I totally see where you are coming from - having a baby is not like being unemployed!

It is a pity that our society places so little value on unpaid care work (or even paid care work, which is not a particularly well paid career).

[pezzae]

I didn't actually mean this to be a complaint about mothering not being valued as much as paid work (that is a post in itself!). It was merely a personal reflection on my experience. I think it's really interesting that there are different experiences among even the small number of mums commenting here... I wonder if there's any way to allow women for whom their professional identity is really important and currently difficult to combine with baby-wrangling to keep that identity while they are still the primary carer (ie not just putting baby in daycare and going back to work full days).