(Untitled)

[perle]

i reappear merely because i am lonely. it has occurred to me now that the strange conditions which take place inside of me to swirl blackness into melodrama, possessing each body organ, are provoked probably exclusively by loneliness. i feel guilty about it, but it is not boredom so much as desperation. i would probably be alright just for tonight

Comments

[haima]

i'm lonely too. lonely in that way. strange how we both stopped writing? i don't know. i'm going to write more now, whenever i think of it, whatever garbage. i hold myself back until i have something to SAY, but i'd rather just talk. to stop being so lonely.

i think i will just come and see you. maybe small plans should come before grand plans.

i want things under my belt.
keep talking to me, keep emailing even when there's nothing to say. i might even call you this weekend when i'm at home (my parents bills, they wont care). just keep in contact. i hate the thought of distance really being distance, sometimes.

i so totally wish you were around the corner right now, or here in this room. even if nothing was really better, we had made nothing, achieved nothing. at least there would be your voice and less space.

i do love you, pony. x

[perle]

i love you too

cheese.

[disfigurine]

at first i read c.) be mice and i thought: "how lovely!"

because that might be a good solution...

Re: cheese.

[perle]

hahahaha.
oh reigh.
you fix everything.x

but how does one be mice?

[m_a_c]

in all technicality i saw him on monday morning, but i had forced him to stay up till three just making out and playing time splitters (shooting zombies heads off, a very romantic past time) with me, and i would always win so that i could pay him back for losing.
last night i couldnt sleep till four am or so because i was crying over missing him. its only wednesday morning, i phoned, but in all up & down moodswing, after e does such things to me. i cried and cried and cried. drank nyquil, read valley of the dolls.
i read missing angel juan and it just made me cry more, because im being silly. i dont have a boy in new york. i have a boy whos just on another island, and i could see him almost anytime if the need was strong enough.

i still write all the time, i am just not here 1/2 the time, stolen by a boy.
.sigh, i feel lonely and sick.

i am glad you wrote.

[tangerines]

my HSC is fucking me over! deciding to take it over two years - rather like an extended antidepressant :)

even with nothing to say, you are loed, i assure you. if you feel like it anytime, send me blank emails and i will send you ones purely with the word milk. we will get lost without moving. seems appropriate at least. but i make no sense and am being rather rude to you, writing but thinking really only on exams.

i will read all properly very soon. i'm sorry. this was meant to be a comfort. ah, xxoo

[starjunkiehotel]

you're one of my favorite journals to read and you scare the hell out of me even though your so fragile at the same time

i feel lonely too. and i'm clingy too. i wonder if there is a difference between love and attachment or if the 2 just become so intertwined that you cannot tell anymore.