i hate feeling jealous. i hate feeling like im going to lose out. now i know she was his friend before i ever came in the picture but i dont want him to choose her over me. now i have it in my head that they're going to get back together and it makes my stomach hurt. but i try to remember they had 2 years to work things out and they haven't and he ( Read more... )

i miss him soooooo much! :(

why am i so stupid? my brain knows we are just friends but my heart refuses to listen and i dont know how to change that. i am making myself suffer, probably needlessly. i guess it gives me something to do. i havent seen my godson in months and i miss him terribly. i dont know when i will be able to see him either. where is the switch to turn my ( Read more... )

it has been 3 months and 13 days since i have seen him last. and i miss him. and i heard a song, colder weather by zac brown band and it makes me cry. cuz that is us ( Read more... )

idk if anyone on my friend list is even still around or uses this or will see this. but hello ( Read more... )

idk how long its been since i have been on here...a week? nothing exciting is going on, work is work. im still single and dealing with possibly a game player? jesus help me! my bear turned 6months old on the 17th! here is a pic:
( Read more... )

im trying to keep this up but its hard without a steady internet connection. saturday was nightmare. i got up early to work and came home and ended up taking a nap. it was a good thing my mom and i were there. around 4pm or so my mom makes me up saying she has to call 911 for my stepdad and cant find her phone. so i call 911 while she does cpr. he ( Read more... )

today is better. im going to look into seeing a therapist. just need to make sure my insurance covers it. the guy i was dealing with last night and i have apologized to each other and now are talking again. im still not exactly sure what went wrong but i felt it was my fault. usually things are my fault. i believe i have borderline personality ( Read more... )

hi. i dont know who is out there anymore. i dont know why i cant have a functioning relationship. i have long since broken up with michael. of course he was cheating and apparently wasnt ever attracted to me. told me to my face that he was embarrassed to be seen with me. that hurt. bad. i was so in love with him and he used me and when everything ( Read more... )

...so let's just say everything is a mess, as usual, and i thrive on drama, apparently. i guess i'm kinda back...