Everything on here is so different! Its been about 10 years since I've posted on here. But i have no one to talk to, confide in. No friends to talk to or hang out with...what is wrong with me? Im lonely and hurting. Is anyone out there? No, just echos. He was all i had and i don't even have that anymore. Im too much and not enough. I just want to ( Read more... )

sucks when your special person makes u feel special but then u find out you're not the only one he is making feel special.

i want to tell you every day that i miss you. i want to tell you every day that i love you. and it's so difficult to hold all that in. so difficult that you are not mine when you should be. but you will be. and i still have to wait another month before i can see you and hold you and touch, taste, smell you...and then you'll be gone again until i ( Read more... )

it's not that i don't want to be friends with her, i do. we have to get along if we are both going to be in his life. but at this point i don't need a hand grabbing my ankle trying to pull me down when i'm trying to get myself up. idk if that makes any sense as i'm not sure how to express myself right now. she wants to act like she's better than me ( Read more... )

i stand in the hot shower and count my scars. the heat brings my splotches to bright attention. i try now to think of why i wanted to make myself so ugly back then and why now it's become my closest friend, my lover, my addiction. oh how beautiful it feels when skin separates from skin and sweet dark velvet comes out and spills over the shore. ( Read more... )

someone posted a question on facebook: "do you have a significant other and what do you love about them? and i replied: "i was thinking about this term earlier..."significant other". now we aren't together but he is very significant to me. over this past year he has helped me to see that i can trust, that someone can love you just for you (mess and ( Read more... )

maybe it's just fun to play pretend. i mean how can you really know a person...really know them, when they are a million miles away? words are great, they boost you up and tear you down. sometimes at the same time. you are all i want you to be. and maybe that's my mistake. maybe i built you up so high and it's going to crash down on me ( Read more... )

things are ok, settled down, i suppose. work is work and the air is getting colder. i miss my fantastic mr. fox. sunday night when i came out from work and got into my car i found a longstem pink rose, a card, and chocolate on my windshield. it was awesome! i didn't even expect it from him since he has been out of state for work. but he had a ( Read more... )

sometimes he makes me feel like i am the most special thing in the world and other times i feel like i am invisible to him. makes me confused and sad. i suppose i just have to realize i am not what he wants. or the timing is wrong or something...idk...

help me turn off.

i can tell you here what i cannot tell you to your face. i love you, dh. with everything that i am. with all my smiles and tears and laughs and sighs and flaws. and i love yours, too. you're my superbatman lol. you amaze me and inspire me to be a better me while you love me just the way i am. and whether you tell me those words or not right now, i ( Read more... )