Ditch The Halo: Chapter 13 (All My Children/The L Word Crossover)
Title: Ditch The Halo
Author: cgirl
cgirlspalace
Rating: R for mature themes. Please read responsibly.
Archiving: Only for Passion & Perfection
Fandom: All My Children, The L Word
Pairing: Bianca Montgomery/Bette Porter, Bianca Montgomery/Maggie Stone
Note: I shall be posting new chapters daily. And don't worry if you don't follow the ABC soap opera, All My Children. I only know it through the YouTube videos. Trust me; it won't take much to catch on to the action. Muchas gracias for the feedback!
Extra Note: The timeline for Bette is midway through Season 4 - After her and Tina have agreed to joint custody of Angelica, but before Bette meets Jodi Lerner.
Disclaimer: Bianca Montgomery, Maggie Stone, Kendall Hart, Greenlee-Smythe-DuPres-Lavery, Erica Kane, Jackson Montgomery etc belong to AMC/ABC. Bette Porter belongs to The L Word.
Chapter 1: I'm A Bomb
Chapter 2: We Be Like This
Chapter 3: "Oh, F*ck!" And Other Such Important Realizations
Chapter 4: Wherein More Sh*t Hits The Fan
Chapter 5: Don't You Dare Stop Doing What You're Doing
Chapter 6A: Can I Watch?
Chapter 6B: Worlds Collide And Stuff Happens
Chapter 7: Charades, Illusions, And Other Such Accessories
Chapter 8: Is That What You Call Foreplay?
Chapter 9: Lady Day Has A Song For This
Chapter 10: Is This The Easy Part?
Chapter 11: The Best Laid Plans
Chapter 12: The Devil In Her Step
Audio Reference:
I wrote this chapter while listening to 2 songs on repeat:
1. MC Solaar, a French rapper with soul and a ridiculous amount of talent, is a genius in my book. Unlike every other rapper I know (male or female), there's a depth of understanding of the human condition that runs strongly through all of his lyrics. I chose this song because it's intense but also gorgeous, and in my opinion, suits the chapter. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofOAdYPpz5Y
2. Gabriel & Dresden are two very fine DJs based in SF, and have made their name by ably remixing notable pop music artists, such as Dido and Sarah McLachlan, for the trance connoisseur. An appropriate song from their collection: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cN3HPlfDrFA...ted&search=
________________________________
DITCH THE HALO
CHAPTER 13: STRONGER THAN DEATH
Maggie ran.
Her feet pounded into the asphalt; she was supposed it was her diminutive form that prevented leaving a mark on the sidewalk. Her skin was slick everywhere, perspiration pouring off her body; she didn’t know how long she had been running. The streets seemed to meld into each other, as one suddenly made way for another; she had no idea where she was. She knew her lungs were aching, the sweat streaming off her forehead into her eyes, stinging them. She had lost track of the number of breaths she took per minute, she only knew she was exhaling with dangerous force, panting in exhaustion even as she kept moving.
She ran because it meant she was getting somewhere, even if she didn’t know where that was. She ran because it was the closest she could get to sanity without breaking. It was the only oblivion she had access to. She ran until her arms, bent at the forearm, ached from their to and fro movement. She ran until the pounding heartbeat made even the bones in her jaw hurt. She ran until she felt battery acid churning through her veins. She ran until taking the next step would have meant falling.
She fell onto her knees at the steps of the boathouse, nearly delirious with exhaustion, breathing so erratically, she was sure she was going to have a heart attack. Her heart was certain to implode; the intense pressure and frenetic beat was too much to bear.
She was on her back, choking in air in great breaths, barely able to tell if she was alive or dead. And then she was crying, turning on her side and curling into herself. Wherever her body touched the wooden floor, she left a wet spot as the perspiration soaked into the floor. She was heaving, gasping for coherence, feeling tears eke out of her eyes, not knowing if she was crying from the pain, or laughing as an insane reaction to reality. She wanted to stay curled on the floor of the boathouse forever, but she knew she couldn’t; her fevered mind and her stolen heart wouldn’t stand for it. Her body, however, had given up for the moment.
_______________________
Their first fight as a couple had been regarding a skanky blonde.
“Maggie, come on. You could try to understand why I need to go.”
“Oh, don’t pull that. She has her mother. And JR. And Jamie, the idiot! Why do you have to go?”
“She’s afraid for her baby, Maggie! She wants to make sure that no harm comes to Bess. I couldn’t say no to that. My God, I know if our roles were reversed I would expect her to help out.”
“You would ask her to help with Miranda??”
“She was there, Maggie, the first time I held my child in my arms. As it turned out, it was also the last time. I know what Bess means to her, just like she knows what Miranda means…meant…to me.”
Maggie quickly turned away, trying to swallow against a prickly throat. The idea that Babe Chandler, rather than her, had been with Bianca, had helped her give birth to Miranda, that Babe had seen Bianca hold Miranda in her arms for those fleeting hours was something that made Maggie sick.
It should have been her. She knew that. If she and Bianca hadn’t drifted right before the pregnancy, if only she had spoken to Bianca about the small but definite fissure in their relationship, perhaps then she would have seen that. God knows, she would have protected Bianca and her child with her life; maybe Miranda would still be alive. She squeezed her eyes shut, and clenched her fists until her nails bit into her palms, the loss of that child cutting deeper than anyone around her knew.
Suddenly she felt a cool, ameliorating graze against her hands, as Bianca came to hold her from behind. Her lover said nothing as she held Maggie, seeming to detect the tumultuous lash of self-abnegating thoughts.
Bianca kissed her neck gently. “I love you.”
Maggie hadn’t ever doubted that. “I know.”
“I just…I have to be there for her, Maggie. I love Bess so much, and even if I had Miranda here now, I would still everything in my power to protect Bess. That child is-“
Maggie sighed and leaned back, into her lover. “I know. I’ve seen you with her. You glow.”
“Like radioactive waste?”
An unexpected laugh was ripped from her. “Stop it.”
A penitent kiss was placed on her shoulder. “Sorry.”
Maggie snorted in good humor. “No, you’re not.”
Bianca’s lips smiled against her lover’s throat. “Okay, you caught me. I’m just fronting.”
Maggie leaned her head back and groaned. “B, I love you, but you cannot pull of slang. You have zero street cred.” She felt a gentle, but succulent bite at her neck and squeaked in surprise. “Don’t try to distract me, Montgomery. I’m so onto you.”
“I want you to be on me, Maggie…inside me…over me…under me…”
“Now you’re just being mean. And devious. And cruel!”
“Okay, I’ll give you mean and devious. But cruel?! Hello, me on a silver platter! Not seeing the cruelty here.”
Maggie turned in the circle of her lover’s arms, and reached up to gently kiss her. “You, Bianca Montgomery, are being extremely cruel because you are tempting me with the most delicious of offers known to humankind. When you know full well that you just don’t want to fight anymore.”
Bianca grinned, completely unrepentant. “Well you’re right about one thing; I know I don’t want to fight anymore. Actually, two things - I’m also irresistible.” She grinned wider and winked as she leaned down and breathed against her lover’s lips. “So, don’t resist, Maggie. This,” she said, taking her lover’s hands and placed them playfully on her ass, “is all yours!”
Maggie was hard-pressed not to burst out in laughter, but got her mirth under control with superhuman effort. Slowly she eased her hands from the very delectable area of Bianca’s rear, and moved them to cup her lover’s face. “I’m just worried, Bianca. I have this really bad feeling about you taking this trip.”
Her lover sighed in understanding, and leaned her forehead against Maggie’s. “Don’t worry, baby, I’m coming back to you. Wild horses couldn’t keep me away. Not when we’ve finally figured it out.”
Maggie wasn’t appeased, but she also knew that pushing the issue now was useless. They were both stubborn, self-sufficient women. And, it was Bianca’s great and unceasing love for those in her life that had first mesmerized Maggie. She just wished that her lover’s circle didn’t include Babe. But she tried to understand Bianca’s position on the matter, especially her preternatural connection to Bess.
As Bianca smiled and kissed her softly, Maggie tried very hard to let go of the ominous dread in the pit of her stomach. As she made love to Bianca that evening, with greater fervency and force than she had ever before, she realized that she was trying to exorcise her fears about her lover’s safety. In the aftermath of their coupling, she held her lover tightly as she cried in Maggie’s arms, Bianca feeling overwhelmed by the mind-blowing pleasure she had experienced.
Maggie knew what Bianca must have felt because a few minutes later, Bianca returned the favor, in spades; there was such an inescapably raw vulnerability in the moment after such an overpoweringly physical release. There was no one else she would have trusted to hold her other than Bianca.
Through it all, and the morning after when she kissed Bianca goodbye at the airport, the dread remained, distant but never gone.
______________________
A few minutes later, Maggie opened her eyes, feeling herself shivering. The perspiration had quickly cooled in the chill evening air, and as she looked at the sky, visible through the space between the slats of the ceiling of the boathouse, she felt the bleakness wash over her body, leaving her weakened and lost. She wrapped her hands around herself, choking down the impulse to scream in pain. There weren’t enough tears or enough screams to actualize her flaying agony.
And then, there was the overwhelming fear, making her shiver yet again, her teeth nearly chattering at desolation in her heart. She closed her eyes, trying to wash away the memory of the moment when this nightmare of hers had begun.
Having finished another mind-numbing session of Organic Chemistry, she was just looking for a quick dinner, and hopefully, a long conversation with Bianca. Luckily, Florida was having great weather, and she hoped her lover was having fun in the sun while over there. Maggie missed her like crazy; she grinned as all the different scenarios of how she could welcome Bianca to their apartment. And convince her never to leave their bed again.
Her phone buzzed, almost as if reading her mind. She smiled widely when she saw Bianca’s caller ID on the screen. She flipped her phone open. “Hey you,” she drawled as sexily as she could manage.
A small silence. “Maggie. This is Erica…”
Her smile disappeared and she nearly sputtered; shock and embarrassment at having purred to…oh, damn, her lover’s diva-goddess-mother. Oh, damn. “Um. Erica. Hi! Sorry, I thought you were-“
And then Maggie heard it; the strain and fear in Erica’s voice. “Maggie. It’s Bianca…”
And suddenly, she knew something was very wrong. She felt the air being squeezed out of her lungs as her grip tightened on her phone. “Erica. What? What are you saying?”
“She was…fighting…with JR. About Bess.”
Maggie could hardly breathe for the tension sweeping through her. “Erica…”
“There was a struggle...”
She had a hand on her heart, the air freezing in her lungs as she felt the tissue protest in pain. She could manage nothing more than a whisper. “Erica, just tell me. Please.”
“Somehow…she fell from the balcony.”
She was sure she was going to faint. Or vomit. “Oh, my God. Oh, my God.”
“She’s in a coma, Maggie.”
___________________________
She was standing, staring at the water, remembering over a year ago, when she jumped into the water holding Bianca's hand. It was an adolescent dare on a summer night; they were growing up too fast, and they needed to do something frivolously unwise.
She nearly smiled now, in remembrance. She hung her head, and felt the weightiest sigh work its way through her body. She was in love to the hilt, and she was insane with worry. She had remained by Bianca’s side for the two days since she had been transported to Pine Valley, which had happened mere hours after Erica’s phone call.
And then, today, the walls threatened to close in on her. Bianca was stable, but not improving; she was unresponsive to stimuli and Maggie’s most heartfelt pleas to return to her. She could feel herself start to lose control, and in a rare moment of clarity, she knew there was only one panacea to the rage and helplessness that threatened to overwhelm her in that hospital room.
So, she ran.
And, like a bad cliché, her feet had led her to the boathouse. Her eyes came back into focus, broken out of her reverie of the memory of the past two days.
She took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. She remembered sitting on this very deck, talking about the coming summer weather, daring her sometimes-too-sensible best friend, pulling her, coaxing her, and finally the surprise Maggie felt when Bianca acquiesced, challenging her right back.
She remembered her own delight at holding hands, tightly, and counting down, the false start, the giggling that threatened to topple them into the water even before they jumped again. And, then finally, after much ribbing and agreement, they leaped into the unknown together, and froze their asses off on a spring night.
She nearly gave into the smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Even after all these months, and all the trauma she had withstood in the past two days, nothing could take away that feeling of magic at remembering their escapades.
She walked to edge of the deck, and looked down in the dark waters, which, as always, revealed nothing but a seemingly bottomless depth.
She took a deep breath, and jumped into Willow Lake.
__________________________
Three hours later, she was showered, dried, and back to her bedside vigil. She walked into find Kendall holding one of Bianca’s hands, the older woman looking so lost without her moral compass. She smiled wanly at Maggie, barely able to acknowledge her. Maggie only nodded to her, looking at Bianca but not really accepting the image her brain was relaying to her. Sure, it was some sort of denial, but it was all she could manage right now, so the world could just go suck it.
“No change?”
Kendall sighed, the lines around her eyes and mouth much more pronounced; exhaustion and worry weighing down her usually buoyant curls and attitude. Maggie walked to the other side of the bed, and sat down in her usual seat.
She picked up Bianca’s hand close to her, the right one, and held it delicately in her hands, feeling the heavy lassitude in the hand. She lowered her forehead to her the back of her lover’s hand, silently fervent in her entreaty to whatever higher power existed. An indeterminate amount of time later, she raised her head, and lightly kissed Bianca’s hand. She felt eyes on her, and turned to see Kendall looking at her, with an unreadable expression.
“What?”
“I just…never thought you’d…”
“Get it together and tell her how I really felt?”
“Are you a mind-reader now?”
“I’ve seen that expression before. You and Greenlee had flashes of it when we saw you at the club.”
“I’m happy that you did get your shit together.”
“Me too. So...if you saw all of it, why didn't you say something?"
"Wasn't my place, really. But aren't you glad I didn't get involved?"
For the first time in the past two days, Maggie felt a flicker of a real grin tug at her lips. "Very."
Kendall smiled slightly. "Okay, then," she said as she slowly took Bianca's other hand, and carefully caressed the skin of her beautiful sister. She whispered, "I love her more than anything.”
“Me too.”
“I know. I can see, but I could always see it.”
They looked at each other, across the comatose body of the woman they both loved intensely in very different ways. There was a recognition, however, of loving Bianca the same way in one regard; they would both give their lives for her.
“I would give anything for this to have happened to me instead of her.”
Kendall clenched her jaw. “If she heard you say that, she would smack you right now.”
“Maybe, but she’d be awake.”
Before Kendall could reply, they were both distracted by a grand commotion outside. They turned to the door, just as it swung open. And there, dressed luxuriously for war and sport, stood Erica Kane, a beaming smile of hope on her beautiful face. In her arms, she held a baby, swaddled in a tiny but fluffy white coat. Behind her, with a bag over his shoulder, stood Jackson Montgomery with a smile to match that of Erica's.
The grand diva's smile became even more glowing as she took in Kendall and Maggie. "We have a miracle. We have Miranda."
- TBC -
Author: cgirl
cgirlspalace
Rating: R for mature themes. Please read responsibly.
Archiving: Only for Passion & Perfection
Fandom: All My Children, The L Word
Pairing: Bianca Montgomery/Bette Porter, Bianca Montgomery/Maggie Stone
Note: I shall be posting new chapters daily. And don't worry if you don't follow the ABC soap opera, All My Children. I only know it through the YouTube videos. Trust me; it won't take much to catch on to the action. Muchas gracias for the feedback!
Extra Note: The timeline for Bette is midway through Season 4 - After her and Tina have agreed to joint custody of Angelica, but before Bette meets Jodi Lerner.
Disclaimer: Bianca Montgomery, Maggie Stone, Kendall Hart, Greenlee-Smythe-DuPres-Lavery, Erica Kane, Jackson Montgomery etc belong to AMC/ABC. Bette Porter belongs to The L Word.
Chapter 1: I'm A Bomb
Chapter 2: We Be Like This
Chapter 3: "Oh, F*ck!" And Other Such Important Realizations
Chapter 4: Wherein More Sh*t Hits The Fan
Chapter 5: Don't You Dare Stop Doing What You're Doing
Chapter 6A: Can I Watch?
Chapter 6B: Worlds Collide And Stuff Happens
Chapter 7: Charades, Illusions, And Other Such Accessories
Chapter 8: Is That What You Call Foreplay?
Chapter 9: Lady Day Has A Song For This
Chapter 10: Is This The Easy Part?
Chapter 11: The Best Laid Plans
Chapter 12: The Devil In Her Step
Audio Reference:
I wrote this chapter while listening to 2 songs on repeat:
1. MC Solaar, a French rapper with soul and a ridiculous amount of talent, is a genius in my book. Unlike every other rapper I know (male or female), there's a depth of understanding of the human condition that runs strongly through all of his lyrics. I chose this song because it's intense but also gorgeous, and in my opinion, suits the chapter. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofOAdYPpz5Y
2. Gabriel & Dresden are two very fine DJs based in SF, and have made their name by ably remixing notable pop music artists, such as Dido and Sarah McLachlan, for the trance connoisseur. An appropriate song from their collection: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cN3HPlfDrFA...ted&search=
________________________________
DITCH THE HALO
CHAPTER 13: STRONGER THAN DEATH
Maggie ran.
Her feet pounded into the asphalt; she was supposed it was her diminutive form that prevented leaving a mark on the sidewalk. Her skin was slick everywhere, perspiration pouring off her body; she didn’t know how long she had been running. The streets seemed to meld into each other, as one suddenly made way for another; she had no idea where she was. She knew her lungs were aching, the sweat streaming off her forehead into her eyes, stinging them. She had lost track of the number of breaths she took per minute, she only knew she was exhaling with dangerous force, panting in exhaustion even as she kept moving.
She ran because it meant she was getting somewhere, even if she didn’t know where that was. She ran because it was the closest she could get to sanity without breaking. It was the only oblivion she had access to. She ran until her arms, bent at the forearm, ached from their to and fro movement. She ran until the pounding heartbeat made even the bones in her jaw hurt. She ran until she felt battery acid churning through her veins. She ran until taking the next step would have meant falling.
She fell onto her knees at the steps of the boathouse, nearly delirious with exhaustion, breathing so erratically, she was sure she was going to have a heart attack. Her heart was certain to implode; the intense pressure and frenetic beat was too much to bear.
She was on her back, choking in air in great breaths, barely able to tell if she was alive or dead. And then she was crying, turning on her side and curling into herself. Wherever her body touched the wooden floor, she left a wet spot as the perspiration soaked into the floor. She was heaving, gasping for coherence, feeling tears eke out of her eyes, not knowing if she was crying from the pain, or laughing as an insane reaction to reality. She wanted to stay curled on the floor of the boathouse forever, but she knew she couldn’t; her fevered mind and her stolen heart wouldn’t stand for it. Her body, however, had given up for the moment.
_______________________
Their first fight as a couple had been regarding a skanky blonde.
“Maggie, come on. You could try to understand why I need to go.”
“Oh, don’t pull that. She has her mother. And JR. And Jamie, the idiot! Why do you have to go?”
“She’s afraid for her baby, Maggie! She wants to make sure that no harm comes to Bess. I couldn’t say no to that. My God, I know if our roles were reversed I would expect her to help out.”
“You would ask her to help with Miranda??”
“She was there, Maggie, the first time I held my child in my arms. As it turned out, it was also the last time. I know what Bess means to her, just like she knows what Miranda means…meant…to me.”
Maggie quickly turned away, trying to swallow against a prickly throat. The idea that Babe Chandler, rather than her, had been with Bianca, had helped her give birth to Miranda, that Babe had seen Bianca hold Miranda in her arms for those fleeting hours was something that made Maggie sick.
It should have been her. She knew that. If she and Bianca hadn’t drifted right before the pregnancy, if only she had spoken to Bianca about the small but definite fissure in their relationship, perhaps then she would have seen that. God knows, she would have protected Bianca and her child with her life; maybe Miranda would still be alive. She squeezed her eyes shut, and clenched her fists until her nails bit into her palms, the loss of that child cutting deeper than anyone around her knew.
Suddenly she felt a cool, ameliorating graze against her hands, as Bianca came to hold her from behind. Her lover said nothing as she held Maggie, seeming to detect the tumultuous lash of self-abnegating thoughts.
Bianca kissed her neck gently. “I love you.”
Maggie hadn’t ever doubted that. “I know.”
“I just…I have to be there for her, Maggie. I love Bess so much, and even if I had Miranda here now, I would still everything in my power to protect Bess. That child is-“
Maggie sighed and leaned back, into her lover. “I know. I’ve seen you with her. You glow.”
“Like radioactive waste?”
An unexpected laugh was ripped from her. “Stop it.”
A penitent kiss was placed on her shoulder. “Sorry.”
Maggie snorted in good humor. “No, you’re not.”
Bianca’s lips smiled against her lover’s throat. “Okay, you caught me. I’m just fronting.”
Maggie leaned her head back and groaned. “B, I love you, but you cannot pull of slang. You have zero street cred.” She felt a gentle, but succulent bite at her neck and squeaked in surprise. “Don’t try to distract me, Montgomery. I’m so onto you.”
“I want you to be on me, Maggie…inside me…over me…under me…”
“Now you’re just being mean. And devious. And cruel!”
“Okay, I’ll give you mean and devious. But cruel?! Hello, me on a silver platter! Not seeing the cruelty here.”
Maggie turned in the circle of her lover’s arms, and reached up to gently kiss her. “You, Bianca Montgomery, are being extremely cruel because you are tempting me with the most delicious of offers known to humankind. When you know full well that you just don’t want to fight anymore.”
Bianca grinned, completely unrepentant. “Well you’re right about one thing; I know I don’t want to fight anymore. Actually, two things - I’m also irresistible.” She grinned wider and winked as she leaned down and breathed against her lover’s lips. “So, don’t resist, Maggie. This,” she said, taking her lover’s hands and placed them playfully on her ass, “is all yours!”
Maggie was hard-pressed not to burst out in laughter, but got her mirth under control with superhuman effort. Slowly she eased her hands from the very delectable area of Bianca’s rear, and moved them to cup her lover’s face. “I’m just worried, Bianca. I have this really bad feeling about you taking this trip.”
Her lover sighed in understanding, and leaned her forehead against Maggie’s. “Don’t worry, baby, I’m coming back to you. Wild horses couldn’t keep me away. Not when we’ve finally figured it out.”
Maggie wasn’t appeased, but she also knew that pushing the issue now was useless. They were both stubborn, self-sufficient women. And, it was Bianca’s great and unceasing love for those in her life that had first mesmerized Maggie. She just wished that her lover’s circle didn’t include Babe. But she tried to understand Bianca’s position on the matter, especially her preternatural connection to Bess.
As Bianca smiled and kissed her softly, Maggie tried very hard to let go of the ominous dread in the pit of her stomach. As she made love to Bianca that evening, with greater fervency and force than she had ever before, she realized that she was trying to exorcise her fears about her lover’s safety. In the aftermath of their coupling, she held her lover tightly as she cried in Maggie’s arms, Bianca feeling overwhelmed by the mind-blowing pleasure she had experienced.
Maggie knew what Bianca must have felt because a few minutes later, Bianca returned the favor, in spades; there was such an inescapably raw vulnerability in the moment after such an overpoweringly physical release. There was no one else she would have trusted to hold her other than Bianca.
Through it all, and the morning after when she kissed Bianca goodbye at the airport, the dread remained, distant but never gone.
______________________
A few minutes later, Maggie opened her eyes, feeling herself shivering. The perspiration had quickly cooled in the chill evening air, and as she looked at the sky, visible through the space between the slats of the ceiling of the boathouse, she felt the bleakness wash over her body, leaving her weakened and lost. She wrapped her hands around herself, choking down the impulse to scream in pain. There weren’t enough tears or enough screams to actualize her flaying agony.
And then, there was the overwhelming fear, making her shiver yet again, her teeth nearly chattering at desolation in her heart. She closed her eyes, trying to wash away the memory of the moment when this nightmare of hers had begun.
Having finished another mind-numbing session of Organic Chemistry, she was just looking for a quick dinner, and hopefully, a long conversation with Bianca. Luckily, Florida was having great weather, and she hoped her lover was having fun in the sun while over there. Maggie missed her like crazy; she grinned as all the different scenarios of how she could welcome Bianca to their apartment. And convince her never to leave their bed again.
Her phone buzzed, almost as if reading her mind. She smiled widely when she saw Bianca’s caller ID on the screen. She flipped her phone open. “Hey you,” she drawled as sexily as she could manage.
A small silence. “Maggie. This is Erica…”
Her smile disappeared and she nearly sputtered; shock and embarrassment at having purred to…oh, damn, her lover’s diva-goddess-mother. Oh, damn. “Um. Erica. Hi! Sorry, I thought you were-“
And then Maggie heard it; the strain and fear in Erica’s voice. “Maggie. It’s Bianca…”
And suddenly, she knew something was very wrong. She felt the air being squeezed out of her lungs as her grip tightened on her phone. “Erica. What? What are you saying?”
“She was…fighting…with JR. About Bess.”
Maggie could hardly breathe for the tension sweeping through her. “Erica…”
“There was a struggle...”
She had a hand on her heart, the air freezing in her lungs as she felt the tissue protest in pain. She could manage nothing more than a whisper. “Erica, just tell me. Please.”
“Somehow…she fell from the balcony.”
She was sure she was going to faint. Or vomit. “Oh, my God. Oh, my God.”
“She’s in a coma, Maggie.”
___________________________
She was standing, staring at the water, remembering over a year ago, when she jumped into the water holding Bianca's hand. It was an adolescent dare on a summer night; they were growing up too fast, and they needed to do something frivolously unwise.
She nearly smiled now, in remembrance. She hung her head, and felt the weightiest sigh work its way through her body. She was in love to the hilt, and she was insane with worry. She had remained by Bianca’s side for the two days since she had been transported to Pine Valley, which had happened mere hours after Erica’s phone call.
And then, today, the walls threatened to close in on her. Bianca was stable, but not improving; she was unresponsive to stimuli and Maggie’s most heartfelt pleas to return to her. She could feel herself start to lose control, and in a rare moment of clarity, she knew there was only one panacea to the rage and helplessness that threatened to overwhelm her in that hospital room.
So, she ran.
And, like a bad cliché, her feet had led her to the boathouse. Her eyes came back into focus, broken out of her reverie of the memory of the past two days.
She took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. She remembered sitting on this very deck, talking about the coming summer weather, daring her sometimes-too-sensible best friend, pulling her, coaxing her, and finally the surprise Maggie felt when Bianca acquiesced, challenging her right back.
She remembered her own delight at holding hands, tightly, and counting down, the false start, the giggling that threatened to topple them into the water even before they jumped again. And, then finally, after much ribbing and agreement, they leaped into the unknown together, and froze their asses off on a spring night.
She nearly gave into the smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Even after all these months, and all the trauma she had withstood in the past two days, nothing could take away that feeling of magic at remembering their escapades.
She walked to edge of the deck, and looked down in the dark waters, which, as always, revealed nothing but a seemingly bottomless depth.
She took a deep breath, and jumped into Willow Lake.
__________________________
Three hours later, she was showered, dried, and back to her bedside vigil. She walked into find Kendall holding one of Bianca’s hands, the older woman looking so lost without her moral compass. She smiled wanly at Maggie, barely able to acknowledge her. Maggie only nodded to her, looking at Bianca but not really accepting the image her brain was relaying to her. Sure, it was some sort of denial, but it was all she could manage right now, so the world could just go suck it.
“No change?”
Kendall sighed, the lines around her eyes and mouth much more pronounced; exhaustion and worry weighing down her usually buoyant curls and attitude. Maggie walked to the other side of the bed, and sat down in her usual seat.
She picked up Bianca’s hand close to her, the right one, and held it delicately in her hands, feeling the heavy lassitude in the hand. She lowered her forehead to her the back of her lover’s hand, silently fervent in her entreaty to whatever higher power existed. An indeterminate amount of time later, she raised her head, and lightly kissed Bianca’s hand. She felt eyes on her, and turned to see Kendall looking at her, with an unreadable expression.
“What?”
“I just…never thought you’d…”
“Get it together and tell her how I really felt?”
“Are you a mind-reader now?”
“I’ve seen that expression before. You and Greenlee had flashes of it when we saw you at the club.”
“I’m happy that you did get your shit together.”
“Me too. So...if you saw all of it, why didn't you say something?"
"Wasn't my place, really. But aren't you glad I didn't get involved?"
For the first time in the past two days, Maggie felt a flicker of a real grin tug at her lips. "Very."
Kendall smiled slightly. "Okay, then," she said as she slowly took Bianca's other hand, and carefully caressed the skin of her beautiful sister. She whispered, "I love her more than anything.”
“Me too.”
“I know. I can see, but I could always see it.”
They looked at each other, across the comatose body of the woman they both loved intensely in very different ways. There was a recognition, however, of loving Bianca the same way in one regard; they would both give their lives for her.
“I would give anything for this to have happened to me instead of her.”
Kendall clenched her jaw. “If she heard you say that, she would smack you right now.”
“Maybe, but she’d be awake.”
Before Kendall could reply, they were both distracted by a grand commotion outside. They turned to the door, just as it swung open. And there, dressed luxuriously for war and sport, stood Erica Kane, a beaming smile of hope on her beautiful face. In her arms, she held a baby, swaddled in a tiny but fluffy white coat. Behind her, with a bag over his shoulder, stood Jackson Montgomery with a smile to match that of Erica's.
The grand diva's smile became even more glowing as she took in Kendall and Maggie. "We have a miracle. We have Miranda."
- TBC -