GL - A FEW DAYS MORE - Chapter 9
TITLE: A Few Days More
FANDOM: Guiding Light
PAIRING: Otalia
SUMMARY: Set mid-friendship, this will contain elements of hurt/comfort as I'm a hurt/comfort junkie. Olivia, Natalia and Emma have returned from their few days away and follows canon around the 'Decker days'...hopefully more interesting than the summary suggests. Please request before archiving.
RATING: PG for now
AUTHOR's NOTE: This is my second attempt at fanfic and I have to say I am more nervous with this one than the first, partly because I fear there could be a level of expectation to overcome. So please be gentle with me, I hope you enjoy the formula I have decided to go with this time because personally, I think the best Otalia story and in particular ‘hurt/comfort’ story was the one shown on TV. As always my thanks to my Canadian Buddy, Critic2000, who read this through and offered useful suggestions and insight, let alone put up with my endless angst and anguish as to whether this story would be worth posting, bless ‘er.
An additional thanks to those of you who have actively encouraged me to right this sequel and offered your support, it truly is an inspiration
ADDITIONAL NOTE: This does loosely follow on from my first story 'A Few Days Away' hence I have said it is a sequel but as I never fully intended to write this, it’s been an interesting experience to find a way to make it fit within the time period I wanted to cover, therefore please gloss over any inconsistencies from one story to the next. It is not essential to have read the first story, but some things may make more sense if you do.
So here's the next one and I'm sure this will start to look very, very familiar but then, that's kinda the plan
I hope you enjoy and thanks for bearing with me...
DISCLAIMERS: I do not own Guiding Light or any of the characters.
( Chapter 1 ) ( Chapter 2 ) ( Chapter 3 ) ( Chapter 4 ) ( Chapter 5 ) ( Chapter 6 ) ( Chapter 7 ) ( Chapter 8 )
Chapter 9
She was held down, aware but not aware.
Within the dreamscape it was hard to distinguish whether she was laying on something soft with something soft above her or firm, cold and hard, pressing her in like the walls of a coffin.
Voices sniggered.
She tried to speak; wanting to know why her predicament amused her voyeur so but panic gripped her, an all consuming horror she sought to push back down into the darkest reaches of her mind in the same way she physically fought to push the weight away from her.
Conflicted, disturbed.
The see-saw of want and need, the push and pull; fluid.
An instinct claimed her.
Have to save her.
“You should save yourself.”
Myself?
The pressure increased, she struggled to expand her ribcage.
What’s happening?
Only silence. Foggy, eerie silence.
She was crying; she had lost something.
What?
So close, yet intangible, just beyond the reaches of her vision.
Save her!
She felt the tendrils of smoke as they wafted toward her.
No!
She struggled again.
My baby!
“Mom?”
Olivia wrenched her eyes open at the sound of her youngest daughter entering their room, “Over here, baby.”
Olivia attempted to shake the dream away, the almost claustrophobic feeling and residual panic sharply coming into focus as Emma trudged across the suite with her backpack, happily announcing, “Maria let me work the elevator.”
“She did?” Olivia was still trying to wake up, fingering along her brow as if to scrub away the imagery and fearing the return of her migraine, “Remind me to give Maria a bonus.”
She watched as Emma fussed with her bag, trying to free something from it, “What else?”
“I got a gold star on my spelling test.”
“Oh, the elevator and a gold star. Woo-hoo!”
Emma was not easily fooled, the half-hearted attempt to muster some enthusiasm leading the child to query, “Are you okay, Mommy?”
She laughed and instantly regretted it when her vision grew dizzy again. Knowing it would be difficult to keep anything from her perceptive child Olivia considered her options. She didn’t really have many, not if she wanted to protect her little girl.
Keeping her voice as normal and steady as possible she asked, “Hey Em, hand me the phone. Will you do that for me?”
The phone was in her hand before she finished asking, she was trembling again and sincerely hoped Emma hadn’t noticed. She breathed deeply, “Thanks.”
Emma returned to her bag, either not having seen or choosing not to comment, and Olivia did her utmost not to alarm her further, her head was spinning, she felt faint in fact she really wasn’t feeling well at all.
***
Natalia was at Company, her morning so far being very productive including helping with the lunch crowd. Buzz had signaled to her he wanted to have a word with her before she left but had yet to escape from his duties so she waited at the bar for him to be free.
When it looked like he could finally break away to speak with her, her cell phone rang.
Apologizing as he approached she indicated her phone, “Oh, I'm sorry. It's the Beacon. They're waiting for an answer. Just…” she held up a finger to indicate she would just be a minute.
“Oh, sorry,” he turned away from her to grant her some privacy but was drawn in by what the younger woman was saying.
“Hi. Ah, yeah, actually, you can tell them that the Mayor's going to take the smaller ballroom. Yeah, because I said I would give it to her for the same price. Yeah, okay, well, then, yeah, you can tell the bride she doesn't have to move her wedding. Yeah, okay. Thank you. Bye-bye.”
He was impressed, she certainly sounded like she had everything under control.
“Sorry. Everything's fine. The tables are good, everything's cleaned up, everything's good.”
She seemed to be apologizing for conducting Beacon matters by expressing how up to date she was with her job here, he was continually amazed by her but he had been thinking about this a lot lately and he was worried about her, “I don't doubt it. I just-- you know, you don't have to wait tables anymore.”
“You firing me?”
She sounded so sad, “No, of course I'm not firing you. I could use as many hours as you can give me,” hadn’t that been proven last night? “But now that you're working for Olivia, you know.”
“No. I need the work. I love the work.” She smiled at him enthusiastically.
“Yeah, I know what you need, lady, is a vacation.” He knew they had gone away for a few days but when Natalia came back with a swollen ankle and he had seen Olivia moving around a little stiffly upon her return he doubted they had much in the way of a vacation. It occurred to him that maybe it had been a working holiday and the way Natalia spoke with authority just now he had to wonder, “Is she taking advantage of you?”
“No. No way. A good boss knows how to delegate, right?” She sounded a little defensive in her appeal. “Just like you. You're the chef and I'm the waitress.”
He was old enough and wise enough to know she was attempting to butter him up with flattery. Changing tack and thinking about Natalia’s sudden exit last night he asked, “So is-- she's okay? I mean you're not a one woman office now that she's sick?”
Natalia could tell he was genuinely concerned, both for her and for Olivia. He had resisted asking what happened last night but his eyes showed he cared, “No. She's okay, I think.” At least I hope so, maybe I should’ve called earlier? “She’d be better if she didn't push herself so much.”
Having been on the receiving end of Olivia’s determination and will he snorted, “Well, good luck with that.”
Natalia chuckled with him both sharing the knowledge that trying to get Olivia to slow down and do something beneficial to her health was like asking the sun not to set; it wasn’t going to happen.
As Buzz left, her cell phone rang again and she looked at the caller ID thinking, speak of the devil…
“Hey, Natalia, it's me.”
“Hi. Were your ears burning?”
“I need you.”
Spoken so like the night before with barely concealed desperation. Worried about what state Olivia was in this time, Natalia gathered up her things and in a repeat performance of the previous evening raced out of Company.
***
Emma was doing her best to make her mommy feel better. Since she had returned from school she hadn’t moved and Emma was worried that she was really sick again. When she handed her the phone earlier she saw how her hand was shaking and thinking mommy probably didn’t want her to know, looked the other way and went back to her bag. But Emma kept watching her from the corner of her eye. Her mommy looked pale and like she did after she stayed out late at night sometimes.
When she heard her mommy say ‘I need you’ into the phone Emma smiled, Natalia was coming. She liked Natalia, she was always nice to her and better yet, looked after her mommy and made her mommy feel better.
Emma snuck a look at her mommy again and thought she looked sad. Thinking there was something she could do to cheer her up Emma selected one of her favourite toys and brought it over to her offering, “Take kitty.”
“Kitty, Kitty?” Olivia looked at the stuffed cat and was grateful to be near enough to put an arm around her thoughtful daughter, “Kitty, Kitty. Thank you.” She turned to a smiling Emma, no doubt pleased she had made her mommy happy and when Emma leaned her head against her own she pulled her into a one armed hug and made a snorting pig noise which started Emma giggling.
Her hotel room door opened behind them and seeing who entered Emma smiled widely and Olivia called over, “Hey, Natalia. Would you tell Emma that I'm alright, okay?” Olivia was certain her efforts so far were not convincing enough.
Natalia hadn’t failed to notice the facial clue, basically asking Natalia to back her up so that Emma wouldn’t know that something was wrong and become upset. Seeing the look on Emma’s face, Natalia wondered if it was too late for that but she tried.
She flashed a quick smile and then told the truth as she saw it in a way to hopefully put Emma’s mind at ease and also tell Olivia what she really thought, “Emma, you know what? I think that your mommy is just really tired because, you know, she likes to overdo things.”
Emma appeared to consider this, looking earnestly at Natalia and then at her mommy.
“Yeah. That's why I hired Natalia to help me out.”
Emma knew her mommy was smart and hiring Natalia made sense but if it was true, that Natalia was there to help out, why did mommy look so sick and why hadn’t she gotten up yet?
They held dueling smiles as Emma mulled between them.
Not wanting to be the meanie of the piece and knowing she was not going to win this argument here, especially in front of her daughter, Natalia suggested, “Em, will you be a big help and get Mommy a big glass of water, please?”
Emma nodded, happy to be doing something useful and pulled away from her mother’s side as her mother called after her, “Thanks, sweetie.”
Olivia released a heavy sigh and fiddled with Kitty. Natalia waited until Emma left the room and then reached toward the phone.
“What are you doing?”
Natalia had been watching Olivia since she entered the room. She was concerned the woman had yet to stand up from her reclined position and if she didn’t know better, she was sure something had happened recently, maybe another dream because there was something in her eyes that spoke of last night. Either that or her headache had returned, Natalia sincerely hoped it wasn’t her heart. Not wanting to give Olivia the chance to evict her before she could do any good she reached for the phone, “I'm going to call an ambulance. Or do you want to collapse first, so she can see that?”
Olivia rolled her eyes, “Oh come on, shhh. Just hang up.” She was becoming more animated.
“No. Why?”
“No, if you know anything about me, you know I don't want to scare my daughter, okay?”
“It's a little late.”
Olivia felt like she had been slapped but refused to back down. She was beginning to regret her decision to call her. But maybe this was Natalia’s way of getting revenge for her behavior last night. Olivia certainly wasn’t proud of herself for it; she just… didn’t want to face it.
“Just hang up,” she insisted. “Let me have it, okay.” She had been waiting for this all day so she figured now would be as good a time as any, “Tell me how angry you are, and how you don't want to take care of someone who won't take care of themselves, and how you're this close to quitting.”
“I stopped dialing.”
Olivia reached forward to put her hand over Natalia’s and together returned the phone to its stand, “I figured you would.”
Oh you did, did you? Natalia sighed, “I did it because of her, not because of you.”
Olivia sat back, still holding the cuddly toy in her arms, “No, I know. I know you love my daughter. I count on that. But that's not why you stopped dialing.”
Natalia grinned at the calm, reasoned woman before her who was once again taking control of the situation and shook her head, “Don't kid yourself. If you're thinking it's because I respect you or trust your judgment, you're wrong.”
“No, I don't think that. It’s because you need me as much as I need you.”
Natalia hadn’t expected that and almost recoiled in reaction. Is that really what Olivia thought? How on earth did she come to that conclusion? Did she need Olivia? The questions overwhelming her Natalia suddenly felt she had to move around. She spotted Emma’s bag on the bed and busied herself with clearing it away.
Behind her, Olivia finally lowered her feet to the floor, stood up and had either gained a second wind or was cleverly using the wall to keep upright, her hands concealed deep in her pockets.
“I need you? Are you joking?”
“No.”
Placing the bag under the bed and beginning to tackle the messy bed linen it struck Natalia, how could she have been so foolish? “Oh, I see, it’s because of the job. You pay me.” She really didn’t like where this was heading, had she been wrong about Olivia’s motivations, her heartfelt plea to have someone look after her interests, her faith in Natalia’s ability to be that person? To take on this role? What about their ‘friendship’? Olivia was standing so smug and sure… she had to know, “So is that why you gave me the job, so that I would be, you know, dependent on you?”
“No. You want to keep guessing?” Olivia was a little offended at the suggestion.
“No. I don't like guessing games.” She was getting frustrated now and a little hurt, she began tugging at the sheets, trying to bring order back to the chaos and disarray where Olivia must have tossed and turned last night.
“Okay.” Olivia had thought about this a lot, “It's because you're a mother. And you've been a mother since you were a teenager, and you care, you worry, and you need something to devote yourself to.”
Natalia snorted her laughter in one hefty exhale, “You?”
“Well, until Rafe gets out of prison…” Natalia was rolling her eyes but Olivia was adamant in her analysis, “I'm the only thing you can mother.”
Is that what she really thinks? That I was ‘mothering’ her? “Of all of the self-centered, ridiculous...”
“Okay. You know what? You need to feel needed.” Olivia was on a roll now and continued even as Natalia continued to make her bed for her, “You're the one who needs to feel virtuous. Okay? You could go donate your time at a soup kitchen, but… I'm pretty sure that I pay better.”
Natalia was finding it hard to find fault with her reasoning. She did like to feel needed, “You know, Rafe made me promise that while he was away that I wouldn't just sit around worrying about him, that I would have a life.” She looked around the hotel room, the bed she was forever making, the woman she was forever worrying about, “I don't think this is what he meant.” Unable to leave the job half done she moved around the bed to tuck in the other side, “Pathetic, huh?”
Olivia didn’t think so, “Why? Why is it pathetic?” She had been trying to understand why Natalia always came when she called, why she held her up when she was stumbling and breaking down. Why she covered for her and supported her even when she hadn’t reciprocated in any way shape or form. She thought about how Natalia had loved Emma from the outset and how she herself had been so unloving.
They had dropped in, the ‘happy couple’. Their intention was to take Emma for hot chocolate but then Gus received a phone call regarding his efforts to get Olivia onto the transplant list and he decided to stay with her so they could get something down on paper. Olivia had been delighted, more so when Natalia volunteered to still take Emma out for a bit. Didn’t she realize that was just what Olivia had been hoping for, the opportunity to spend some time with Gus, just the two of them?
She had been overwhelmed, the lengths Gus was going to, actually acknowledging and using his hated Spaulding name to open doors for her. Even though the repercussions with Alan and Philip were terrifying to her, she trusted him, he made her feel safe.
She wanted him.
When Natalia returned with Emma nearly an hour later, Olivia felt they were making real progress, both with the transplant application and her efforts to win him over. Hugging her daughter to her she couldn’t resist the silent conversation as she held eye contact with Natalia over Emma’s shoulder, practically shouting her triumph in how much Gus cared for her, did things for her, laughed with her; Natalia seemed unimpressed.
Then Gus had to leave.
Olivia continued to pore over the paperwork but was slowly seething. Although Gus left, Natalia was still with Emma and the sound of giggles and ‘pat-a-cake’ was sending her into a dark mood.
When she heard Natalia exclaim, “Perfect! You’re so good at this!” she closed her eyes, mutely appealing for Natalia to hurry up and go, her hopes rising as she heard, “Thank you for this. I had such a good time,” and then the slender woman was exiting her daughter’s bedroom and crossing her suite to reclaim her coat and bag.
“You done in there?” Please be done, I want you out of here.
“Yeah,” she began waving a cut out at her, “You should have seen this cute little paper doll that Emma made me.”
She ignored her daughter’s artistic efforts to focus her ire and suspicion on the woman before her, “I still don't understand why you didn't leave with Gus?” It was the question which had been burning to be asked for the last ten minutes.
“Well, because she asked me to stay a few more minutes.”
“Your few minutes are up.” The Pollyanna attitude was making her want to gag.
“Your daughter was just in there laughing and having a good time. I would think that you'd be happy about that.”
As much as she loved her daughter her hackles rose in suspicion again, “Why are you doing this? Why are you spending so much time with her?”
“Because she's adorable.”
Olivia, while unable to dispute the truth about her daughter, nevertheless found Natalia’s reasoning hard to swallow, “And it has nothing to do with the fact that I told you I want Gus?”
Natalia for her part looked shocked and then sad, “You think I would do this for revenge? Not everybody works the way that you do, Olivia.”
“Oh, I see, yeah. The hot chocolate runs, playing house. Anything else?” God, I bet the woman even bakes cookies!
“Well, Emma would like me to go to her school's open house.”
“It's not going to happen.”
“Okay. Well, what… what if you're too weak?”
Did she really just ask that? Suggest what she was suggesting? “I do not…” she needed to stand, she needed to emphasize her position, she was Emma’s mother, not Natalia, “want you trying to take my place with my daughter.”
“I am not trying to take your place with your daughter. But if the worst happens, isn't it better that she be with people that she knows and she trusts?”
“And loves?” Olivia couldn’t believe the nerve of the woman.
“You know, your problem is that you feel guilty that I'm helping out because of what you're doing with Gus. So maybe you should just stop it, and then you'll feel better.”
“Yeah. Here's what you need to know,” she was going to make it very clear even though she needed to sit down, she was feeling weak again and getting breathless, “I'm not giving up on Gus.”
“He loves me.”
“Yeah, it's funny, because Harley used to say that… all the time,” she turned and resumed her seat, confident she had made her position and Natalia’s very plain.
Hoping Natalia would finally get the message and leave, Olivia was flabbergasted the younger woman hadn’t gone screaming into the night; well, crying out into the corridor at least and eventually left her to think about what she had said. Her daughter was in the other room and she felt the need to be with her, after all why should Natalia have all the fun?
She was playing with Emma when Natalia called out to her, “You need a refill on some of these. I'll go to the pharmacy.”
The woman had several pill bottles in her hands and was checking the labels on them.
“It's okay. Don't bother.”
“It's not a bother.”
Really? Had the woman not been listening to what Olivia said? Did she really not feel that threatened by the woman with the wavering heart? Maybe that was it, she was convinced Olivia was so sick it didn’t matter what she did.
Apparently so as in the next breath Natalia was cheerfully calling out, “Bye, Emma. I'll see you later.”
It was becoming more than Olivia could stand leading her to mutter, “Just go.”
“I'm sorry, did you say something?”
Goddamn the woman was polite. “Let's not prolong this, shall we?”
“Oh. You're welcome.”
Was she waving the pill bottles at her?
“Didn't ask you to do it.” Her anger was coming to the fore again, would this woman ever catch a clue and be gone already? “Bye! Go!”
How could this woman have such… such stupidity? Or was it actually genuine compassion?
Olivia had always been out for what she could get, protecting herself and her own interests but Natalia… Natalia was always looking for the good in everyone, looking to see how she could offer help, always giving more of herself. Olivia admired that about her, “Because you care about someone? I envy that.”
Natalia was smiling at her now, unsure where this line of thought was coming from, “Okay, now I know you’re joking.” Olivia? Envy her?
“No, I'm not.” Olivia countered.
Natalia feared the woman was going to pass out again, she had become very somber and quiet and she realized, sincere.
Finishing her thought Olivia affirmed, “I do.”
For a moment, echoes of the dream flashed before her mind’s eye. Shaking the dark thoughts away, not wanting Natalia to become any more concerned than she no doubt already was, she racked her brain trying to think of ways to help Natalia. She may not feel like sharing the dream but there were other things she could share.
“You know what? I have a whole slew of good dating stories that you could tell Rafe that happened to you and I have just plenty of them.”
“I'm sure that you do.” Natalia put the finishing touches to the bed.
“Watch it.”
Natalia stood up from the last pillow to be plumped and sweeping back her bangs glanced back to the room where Emma went for a glass of water ages ago, perceptively realizing it was just a ruse to get her out of the room. She turned to confront Olivia “Yeah but really? Emma, did you see her face? I mean, you can't keep doing that to her.” Or me.
Olivia had moved her hands to her back pockets now and did a hunching shrug, “Okay.”
Natalia took in the change in stance and almost school girlish petulance. Standing there Olivia, for all her faults, looked wonderful. The wide open-necked collar of her white long-sleeved blouse contrasted sharply with her dark fitted jeans and served to accent her form as she stood there vowing, “I'll eat my veggies. I promise.”
As much as she wanted to, Natalia found it hard to believe her.
To be continued...
Flashback scene from episode 31st January 2008 and can be seen at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0y7neJR4A8k with thanks to OtaliaNut for the clip.
Main story taken from episode 13th November 2008.