GL - A FEW DAYS MORE - Chapter 7
TITLE: A Few Days More
FANDOM: Guiding Light
PAIRING: Otalia
SUMMARY: Set mid-friendship, this will contain elements of hurt/comfort as I'm a hurt/comfort junkie. Olivia, Natalia and Emma have returned from their few days away and follows canon around the 'Decker days'...hopefully more interesting than the summary suggests. Please request before archiving.
RATING: PG for now
AUTHOR's NOTE: This is my second attempt at fanfic and I have to say I am more nervous with this one than the first, partly because I fear there could be a level of expectation to overcome. So please be gentle with me, I hope you enjoy the formula I have decided to go with this time because personally, I think the best Otalia story and in particular ‘hurt/comfort’ story was the one shown on TV. As always my thanks to my Canadian Buddy, Critic2000, who read this through and offered useful suggestions and insight, let alone put up with my endless angst and anguish as to whether this story would be worth posting, bless ‘er.
An additional thanks to those of you who have actively encouraged me to right this sequel and offered your support, it truly is an inspiration
ADDITIONAL NOTE: This does loosely follow on from my first story 'A Few Days Away' hence I have said it is a sequel but as I never fully intended to write this, it’s been an interesting experience to find a way to make it fit within the time period I wanted to cover, therefore please gloss over any inconsistencies from one story to the next. It is not essential to have read the first story, but some things may make more sense if you do.
Okay, so I'm back from my hols having had a great time visiting friends and very grateful there's a Bank Holiday tomorrow so I have an extra day to catch up before returning to work. Just flown home over the Atlantic via Amsterdam and spent nearly 6 hours clearing up the mess that is my new kitchen, (seems I'll be doing some more painting tomorrow) so I thought I'd post this chapter to see if there's anybody still out there. So enjoy (I hope!) and I promise to get to work beta-ing the next 'Movie Night' chapter as I know everyone is waiting for it, certainly know I was! Thanks for reading and for your comments!
DISCLAIMERS: I do not own Guiding Light or any of the characters.
( Chapter 1 ) ( Chapter 2 ) ( Chapter 3 ) ( Chapter 4 ) ( Chapter 5 ) ( Chapter 6 )
Chapter 7
Her immediate worry for her friend taken care of, Natalia’s own exhaustion was catching up with her.
It was now nearly one in the morning and she knew tomorrow was going to be just as hectic as today had been, or was that today would be as hectic as yesterday?
Having remained still as long as possible to ensure Olivia was finally asleep and her moving wouldn’t disturb her, Natalia stifled a yawn, rubbed her eyes and face to wake herself up a bit more and stood up from the bed.
She looked around the room in the dim lighting and rubbed her own neck in thought as she considered her options.
Option one; pick up her things and leave, she could be in her own bed within the half hour. Olivia would be okay, the worst of it seemingly over and really, sleep was the best medicine for her at the moment so there seemed little sense in staying.
Then there was option two. Stay, keep an eye on her and face the consequences in the morning or rather later that morning her mind amended.
She loosely folded her arms, one hand tapping against her chin in thought and pulling on her lower lip.
There was always option three… the bed was big enough and it wasn’t like they hadn’t shared a bed before, right?
But that wasn’t here, in Springfield where everybody knew everyone else’s business and didn’t seem to care who they shared it with, whether supported by the truth or not.
She looked down at the sleeping figure again and decided to compromise. She would stay for a while longer; maybe an hour just to be entirely certain Olivia was really okay and then head back to her own room where she could still catch at least four hours of sleep before her shift started. She had done it before and while being a single parent looking after her child.
Decision made, Natalia set the alarm on her phone to vibrate just in case she dropped off and sat across from the bed to commence her vigil.
***
The dream was different this time.
She wasn’t sure how she knew but she knew; she could feel it.
She was being watched.
A form moved in the shadows beyond the limits of her sight and her apprehension soared, unable to distinguish whether this figure was a good or bad omen.
Her throat was dry. Her mouth was sticky.
The desire to swallow grew exponentially with her inability to gather enough saliva to do so and she found herself gagging.
She needed a drink.
The scent of alcohol flooded her senses, cloying, smothering; familiar.
She felt lethargic, heavy; drugged.
She was trapped, held down.
Veins prickled as adrenaline surged and she struggled.
Nothing; nothing but a burning sensation, at first it was liquid fire scouring her throat, her insides aflame and then she heard it, a crackling that snapped within the silence.
She was weighed down, someone or something keeping her restrained.
She fought.
The noise became a rumble, rolling its roar around her as her eyes began to itch.
It was the first time she realized she had closed her eyes and she opened them again, trying to lubricate against the scratchiness, hoping her tears would stop the smarting and allow her to see but there was only a hazy blackness.
“You left her there,” a voice floated out of the darkness, “You left her there to die.”
“No,” she rasped, hating herself for not being able to remove the weight above her and for how small and terrified she sounded.
The heat swelled and she was pushing now, pushing for all her worth against the object above her.
“No!” her volume increased in parallel with her fear. This wasn’t supposed to be happening, this was wrong.
The object above her began to take shape, an outline.
Knowing only terror, refusing to succumb, Olivia pushed.
Flames were everywhere, she could feel the sweat running down the small of her back, tasted the burning in the air around her, she was gasping, anxious to draw breath…
“Olivia? Olivia!”
Her eyes snapped open.
***
She had been sitting quietly in the chair for nearly a half hour sifting and sorting through the busy details of her life, reevaluating her current choice of options and reconsidering her decision to sacrifice a precious hour of sleep to watch over someone who for some reason, rarely bothered to look out for herself.
What was Olivia thinking this evening?
Natalia shook her head again, perplexed as always by the slumbering silent enigma sprawled out on the bed before her.
She was so drawn to the woman but she couldn’t put her finger on why the woman took such chances and why was it so difficult for her to ask for help?
She had heard they were looking for support staff for the midnight shift at Cedars and so had crossed the road after her shift at Company to enquire about the possibility of being hired. She hadn’t really cared about the unsociable hours, if there were hours available in the day, then she would be available to work them. She needed the money.
Dr Bauer had joined her on her stroll back and as charming as it was to have the friendly, flirty doctor walk with her she sensed there was a reason for his sudden interest, her suspicions confirmed when he rounded on her and looked serious.
“Well, as much as I enjoyed walking you over here, I wanted to talk to you about a mutual friend of ours who's acting like a child…
Could only be one person they both knew like that, “Oh, yeah…”
“…Olivia.”
“…Olivia.”
They smiled at each other, both knowing how that name conjured up such strong emotions from the people who knew her. Not exactly sure what Dr Bauer felt she could do or say that would have a different and desired effect she glanced inside Company and sighing, indicated with her head, “Well, you know, she's right in there. You can talk to her yourself.”
“Yeah, I know, I tried. I tried. She's not going to check herself into the hospital until she takes care of some business first, whatever that means.”
Probably getting takeout if memory serves…, “Well, her priorities are a little hard to understand sometimes.” Most of the time really.
“Well, you know, she seems to trust you, so maybe you could give it a try.”
Does she? Sure, she let me stay with her when she needed to get checked out last time but actually trust me? I never really thought about it much, “Oh, I don't know about that. I don't know.”
Their conversation had been light, Dr Bauer cajoling her, wooing her to do his bidding as he obviously cared enough about Olivia to try whatever it took but now his tone became serious and he regarded her openly, “Look, Natalia, we need to get her in the hospital right now. I mean, the clock is ticking, and that heart of hers is not going to hold up unless she, you know, takes care of it. And she's not doing that. Please.”
“Yeah… I'll see what I can do.” Natalia was terrified, hearing the cold, harsh truth as it related to the seriousness of Olivia’s condition… how could Olivia not want to do something about it? She has a daughter, a beautiful little girl and…
The more Natalia thought about it, the more worked up she became to the point that seeing Olivia calmly sitting at the bar eating lunch while she worried about her… for her? Arrghh! She wanted to scream; as if she didn’t have enough going on in her own life it seemed she was responsible for Olivia’s as well.
Unable to idly stand by any longer Natalia stormed up to the unsuspecting woman and slammed the menu on the bar, the impact producing a satisfying slap to match her anger.
“Alright, I don't have time for your crap, lady.”
Olivia recoiled slightly, “Gee, the service here is terrible.”
She ignored her, “I am working my butt off just to get through the day and help my son and I'm supposed to worry about you, too?”
Olivia smiled at her, “I didn't know you cared.”
How could she be laughing about this? She only had one explanation, “Everything is funny with you, because there's something wrong with your head, too, really.” Olivia was listening to her but it was the same look that said, ‘really, you think you can tell me something here I don’t know already?’ and what Natalia wanted was for Olivia to at least appreciate the gravity of her situation.
Natalia continued attempting reason again, “You have a chance at a life and seeing your little daughter every day, and you're playing around with that?”
Olivia’s joviality disappeared, her expression changed and her voice dropped to state with authority, “I'm not playing.”
Natalia didn’t believe her. How could she? If the woman truly meant it she would’ve done something by now, wouldn’t she? That was it; that was the moment she had reached a point and had to back away. She had to make Olivia understand, she couldn’t keep clearing up her messes, picking up the pieces of her stupidity, she just couldn’t, “If you're not going to take care of yourself, really, then just die already,” It was killing her to say it, to see the look of disbelief in the green eyes across from her but she continued, “because I have other things to worry about. And I'm done. I don't care whose heart you have.”
She felt bruised, washed out and couldn’t look at her anymore. Picking up her things she turned on her heel and left, her last glance revealing Olivia stunned and gaping at the bar.
She was almost up to her room when she heard the breathy voice behind her, “Are you really going to make a woman with a heart condition chase after you?”
Did this woman ever give up? “See, again, not funny!”
“Oh, come on, give me a break.” She was breathing heavily and attempting to appeal to Natalia’s better nature, “I mean, we're friends, right?”
“You don't have any friends.” Not being mean, just truthful. Time and time again this woman had manipulated and schemed and pushed people away; like she had done with her.
“I know…” Olivia agreed, “I mean, not many. But I have you now.” She sounded hopeful.
Natalia considered this, were they friends? “I work for you and I know you're sick. And that's our connection.” That wasn’t friendship.
“That's not true. We check up on each other, and we tell each other the truth,” she noticed Olivia laboring to draw breath, gasping in air as each sentence left her mouth and she found herself mentally agreeing with her assessment, they did check up on each other and they certainly told each other the truth, painfully so at times.
Olivia was still making her case, “And I watch Dr. Phil, so I know that means we're friends.” She was waiting expectantly as if she had clearly laid out her working to some complex puzzle and wanted to be rewarded for getting it right, her breathing still heavy. Natalia was hesitating and Olivia obviously sensed her weakness, “Oh, come on.” Olivia searched around for another reason, a missing part to her ‘friend’ equation and threw out, “I like difficult people.”
“See? More joking.”
“You get my jokes.”
“I don't think you're funny.”
“Ah!” Olivia seemed wounded by this.
As they stood there, Olivia looking up at her practically pleading with Natalia to acknowledge a friendship she didn’t understand, one question kept coming to the forefront of her mind, “Why are you messing around with your health?”
Maybe it was the way she asked it but Olivia dropped all bravado and stared up directly at her to quietly and earnestly confirm, “I'm going to go to Cedars. I will. I just have things I need to take care of first. That's why I'm here.”
She believed her.
Thinking back on the things she said and enamored with the sincerity she was being shown she offered, “Okay. I can help you with Emma.”
“Thank you. I don't need help with her. I need help with my other baby, Natalia, the Beacon.”
Natalia was confused, the Beacon? “What about Cassie?”
“Cassie's going to cover some things, but I need somebody physically there to represent me, you know, to protect my interests.”
Feeling defensive, Natalia crossed her arms, “You know, we talked about this before.”
“I know, and… and,” Olivia stuttered, perhaps finding the words for the best way to phrase her next thought, “you thought you couldn't do it because of your pride, and you thought it was a handout...”
“No,” Natalia remembered it differently and pointed out, “Actually, you stormed off before I could even answer you.
“Listen to me. This isn't a favor for you. I'm asking for me. I need help. I need you to help me, please.”
Natalia shuddered as she considered how that day played out, how much her life changed, her future, her prospects; her friendship.
With only twenty minutes of her self-imposed time limit left, she stretched and regretted the fact where she was sitting she couldn’t even see well enough in the subdued lighting to read. She considered playing with her phone.
What was that?
She thought she heard something.
Looking over toward the bed she could see Olivia in the pale light, her features animated and twitching, her head making the vaguest of motions side to side.
Standing up to cross over to her, Natalia’s attention was drawn to Olivia’s hands, her heart tripping when she recognized the spasmodic clenching and unclenching she had seen before, signifying Olivia was once again caught in a dream of some terrifying nature.
Having witnessed how disturbed Olivia became as a result of these nightmare episodes she knew she had to do something; she needed to calm her down.
Small utterances fell from Olivia’s full lips, her shoulders pressing down against the mattress.
Natalia resumed her seat on the bed from earlier and tried waking her with her voice, “Olivia? Olivia you need to wake up now, come on. It’s just a dream, wake up.”
When Olivia didn’t respond Natalia closed her hand over Olivia’s wrist, her intention to gently shake her arm.
The reaction was immediate and unexpected, Olivia’s arm jerked away from her and she began to swing out. Natalia, reacting on instinct, grabbed at the flailing limbs for fear of being swiped which in turn resulted in Olivia’s movements becoming more volatile.
Natalia was alarmed at the frantic writhing and struggled to maintain her hold.
“No.”
Natalia heard it. A faint plea against the labored breathing of their physical tussle.
“Olivia?”
Her hands sweating, she was losing her grip and Olivia’s efforts were becoming more determined below her, pushing her away.
“No!”
“Olivia?” she tried again, the terror in Olivia’s tone sending chills down the back of her head, “Olivia!”
Green eyes snapped open.
The struggling ceased, Olivia’s wrists still clasped in her hands and the sound of tiny pants echoed unnaturally loud in the sudden stillness.
After a moment’s pause, time resumed its steady march forward.
***
Regaining awareness, Olivia willed her heart to slow down.
She was finding it hard to shake the ominous feeling of being held in place and dreaded the prospect of closing her eyes lest she felt the pressure bearing down on her again. She was aware of it, lurking at the edges of her consciousness.
Above her, Natalia was watching with such a look of confused concern Olivia felt embarrassed.
She pulled her hands free, looked away and turned to prop herself on one elbow, Natalia waiting patiently.
Reaching for the water conveniently placed on her nightstand, she grabbed the glass to take a sip, returned it and then ran a hand through her disordered hair. She was disgusted to note her hand was trembling and pulled it back out of sight.
“Want to tell me about it?”
She shook her head no, a tiny gesture but now she was awake her headache was returning.
“Was it like before?”
She really didn’t want to talk about it. It wasn’t the same, no. Where previously she had felt like she was being taunted and accused, this dream had left her feeling guilty, dirty and ashamed; helpless. No, she really didn’t want to talk about it.
“What are you still doing here?”
“I…?”
“What? Had nothing better to do?”
“Apparently somebody needed my help.”
“And you did, job done.”
Olivia watched as Natalia’s mouth opened and closed. “You can go now,” she dismissed.
Natalia sat there a moment longer, staring at her with her inscrutable expression.
Unable to bear the humiliation of Natalia bearing witness to yet another moment of weakness, Olivia lashed out, “I don’t want you here!”
Her self-appointed guardian still didn’t move, not beyond the contraction of the muscles near her eye and concerned her resolve would crumble Olivia yelled, “Go!”
Finally Natalia stood up from the bed, gathered her things from the chair and left the room.
Somewhat disappointed Natalia had simply left, Olivia lay back on her pillow and refusing to fall victim to sleep again, gave in to her tears. She punched the mattress in frustration, repeating the action over and over as she cried until her tantrum exhausted her, leaving her feeling incredibly afraid and alone; she had only her headache and her thoughts to keep her company.
To be continued...
Flashback scene taken from episode 21st Oct 08 and can be viewed at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipqEcsVjKY8 with thanks to borealis94 for the clip