Dreams are Forgotten or Misunderstood - Part One
Title: Dreams are Forgotten or Misunderstood
Fandom: TSN
Rating: R/NC-17
Pairing: Eduardo/Sean
Disclaimer: This is not real, this never happened. I don't know them and this is all fiction. Made up stuff.
Notes: This is for thesocialbbang. Thanks to the mods for letting me post, even though I totally forgot to post on my day (and almost forgot to post today, stupid real life/work/etc). Thank you to everyone who read this and told me it didn't suck. And thank you to the lovely insteadofdeath for her truly amazing fanart! It's so awesome and lovely.
Art by insteadofdeath
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It's raining when the doorman calls up to Eduardo's apartment. He's standing by the tall plate glass windows and staring at the water streaming down. It's afternoon, but the skies are dark enough that it could be early evening. He doesn't mind the rain, the way it muffles the sounds from outside. But not the buzzer, which startles him out of his daze. He crosses the room, wondering who could possibly want to see him. He knows Rachel's out of town and his other friends are busy. He glances at the calendar on his phone, no appointments, no meetings.
There's another sharp jolt of noise from the buzzer, right as he's about to answer. He almost drops his phone but manages to shove it into his pocket instead. He presses the button. "Hello?"
"Mr. Saverin, there's someone here to see you." The voice of the doorman sounds tinny, but Eduardo's used to it by now.
"Who is it?" He asks, half anxious and half curious.
Silence, and then, "A Mr. Parker."
For a split second Eduardo thinks he doesn't know anyone named Parker. And then he remembers that yeah, he does. There's an emotion flooding through him that he can't identify right away. Maybe it's dread, but that's not right.
He swallows. "Send him up." The words are out of his mouth before he can convince himself otherwise.
It's not that he has a problem with Sean, because he never had one, not really. They had their differences, but in the end it wasn't Sean who made the decisions. It was Mark. And if Eduardo was in Mark's shoes, who's to say he'd wouldn't've made the same decisions. Except for the part where he wouldn't have, but he really doesn't blame Sean. It was Mark, all along. A Mark that Eduardo never really knew, or at least one he pretended not to see.
He turns away from the speaker next to his door and looks outside. It hasn't stopped raining and if anything, it's gotten worse. Maybe they'll have a proper storm. He doesn't have time to dwell on it, because there's knocking at his door. He runs a hand through his hair, clears his throat and turns back to the door. He hesitates just slightly, with his hand on the handle, because what the fuck is Sean Parker doing at his door. And then, almost with a will of it's own, his hand's turning the knob, pulling the door open.
"Eduardo." Sean's voice is just like Eduardo remembers, which he thinks is a slightly odd thing to notice, but it's been a long time.
Eduardo pushes out a smile which ends up being more genuine then when it started. Sean smiles back and Eduardo thinks that he might resent Mark, just a little, for getting in the way of other friendships Eduardo might have, could have, had.
"Come in." Eduardo steps out of the way and Sean walks past him. Eduardo looks for luggage, but the only thing Sean's carrying is a backpack. "Traveling light?" He asks after shutting the door.
Sean doesn't turn around from where he's looking, which Eduardo takes to be everywhere, when he answers. "I didn't know I was coming here until my car ended up at the airport."
Eduardo arches both eyebrows, but Sean's staring out the window now. He crosses the room, gently taking the backpack from Sean. He sets it on the dining room table he rarely uses and then looks back over at Sean.
"Want a beer?" He offers to fill the silence.
This time Sean does turn. He looks older, tired. He looks like Eduardo imagines they all look. During the depositions, all of that bullshit, he hadn't seen Sean. They'd talked, a few times, had lunch after the whole thing was over. Then Eduardo moved here and Sean left Facebook.
Sean nods.
Eduardo doesn't know what else to say, so he disappears into the kitchen. He doesn't hear Sean until he turns from the refrigerator. He wordlessly hands the beer to Sean and then takes one for himself. The tops twist off, which is good because Eduardo can't remember where his bottle opener is, or if he even has one. He opens the bottle, letting the cap clatter loudly on the counter.
"It's nice," Sean says after a long drink of beer.
"What?" Eduardo replies, startled.
Sean smiles slightly. "Your place. This city."
Eduardo pulls himself together, wondering when his default setting became ill at ease. He smiles back at Sean. "Thanks. I'm not sure I'll ever leave."
Sean nods, taking another drink.
Eduardo does the same, then clears his throat. "So, uh. Why're you here, Sean?"
To his credit, Sean doesn't seem to be all that offended. "It's complicated."
Eduardo nods and then thinks about all the things that could possibly make Sean come here. They go from ridiculous to horrific and Eduardo's mouth is working without his permission.
"You have cancer? Wait, no. You're still friends with Mark … Shit, Mark has cancer? He's dying and he wants to apologize?" Eduardo sounds a bit ridiculous and he knows this, but he finds he can think of thousands of reasons why Sean would be here. He's about to start again when Sean holds up his hand.
There's amusement in his voice when he answers. "No. It's just … It's not about Mark, you know? It's never been."
Eduardo doesn't answer, but he doesn't need to because he knows they're not talking about Mark. Not really.
"I'm getting married," Sean says after a moment.
Eduardo nods. He knows this, it's hard not to. He tried, at first, to keep away from all the Facebook news, but it was impossible. Eventually he just accepted that people would email him shit, that stories would find their way to him and that he couldn't truly escape from Facebook. Which is why he's living in an extremely expensive apartment in Singapore. But it doesn't explain why Sean's standing in his kitchen, drinking his beer.
"So you … came here?" Eduardo says, drinking half his beer in one go.
"Like I said, complicated." Sean pauses, then goes on. "You know, sometimes I think he misses you."
"Mark?"
Sean nods. "But not … It's hard to explain. But I'm not here because of him, or anyone else. I wanted to --" He stops, cutting himself off. He takes a drink of beer, then another, before finishing the bottle. He sets it on the counter.
"Wanted to what?" Eduardo prompts him, keeping his eyes on Sean as he finishes his own beer. Their bottles stand next to each other, Sean staring at them before looking back at Eduardo.
"Apologize."
The word hangs between them, almost like Eduardo could reach out and touch it. He wonders, why now, why you. But he can't form the words. He tries not to gape, it's not that he's shocked, it's just that he never expected apologies. A long time ago, before the money and the lawsuits, he wanted apologies. It was the only thing he wanted; the money, that was all later. Because he'd never get what he really wanted. But he's long since moved on from that. Times change, people change, and he's not a petty person, not anymore, if he ever was.
"For everything," Sean says, breaking the wall that seemed form between them.
Eduardo shakes his head. "You don't need to."
Sean bites his bottom lip and Eduardo has to tear his gaze away. "I had to." There's something in Sean's voice that Eduardo can't quite recognize. It's a sort of longing, maybe, but it confuses him.
"It wasn't your fault. It wasn't … It's all in the past now." Eduardo tries to find the words to explain that it's all okay, that it doesn't matter.
"Did you love him?" Sean asks, the words so unexpected that Eduardo takes a step back.
"Mark?" Eduardo asks, softly, and Sean nods. Eduardo wants to say no, he didn't. But he can't, because he did, maybe a little. A long time ago. Sean's watching him and Eduardo finds he can't answer the question. He stares at the floor.
Sean clears his throat, but Eduardo doesn't look up. "He's a hard person to love."
"Aren't we all?" Eduardo mumbles, then finally forces his gaze up. Sean's smiling at him again. "What?" Eduardo asks.
"My … Alex, she says the same thing." He laughs, softly.
Before he can stop himself, Eduardo says "That Mark's a hard person to love?"
Sean laughs again, a proper laugh. "That I am. That she is. That we all are."
And just like that, Eduardo laughs. He thinks, Sean's right, that Sean's fiancé is right. He glances at Sean again, finds him grinning and he can't help but return the grin. It reaches his eyes this time, he can feel it and thinks about all the fun they had, before it all went south. Before everything changed.
"We used to be friends," Eduardo says, quietly, when they've both stopped laughing.
Sean's eyes darken a little and he holds Eduardo's gaze. "It sucked, everything that happened." He pauses, then. "I'm sorry. About all of it. About Facebook, about Ma--" Eduardo holds up a hand, cutting him off.
"Stop." He says, quietly.
Sean looks at him, confused.
"You knew me. We were different people then, but you knew me. You knew what I wanted, for Mark, for Facebook. It … We've all grown up." He finishes, lamely.
"I wanted to say it, because he never will. Because he doesn't …" Sean can't finish the sentence.
Eduardo looks away, shoving his hands in his pocket, fingers curling around his phone. "He doesn't think it's necessary." He murmurs, finishing Sean's sentence as he walks out of the kitchen and back into his living room.
Sean follows him, almost too close, but not quite. "No."
Eduardo stands in front of his window, feeling Sean standing next to him without looking. "Then why you?"
"Do you remember, the night before you went back to New York?" Sean asks, quietly. Eduardo doesn't know if Sean's looking at him, he doesn't want to know.
Of course he remembers that night. He'd stayed in the house for almost two months, but Harvard was starting up again and he had a life to get back to, school to finish up and so many other things to do. He was going back to school and he knew, by then, that Mark wasn't ever coming back. It was killing him, eating him alive, but he went back anyway. He wanted to make the company work, even if Mark wanted to drop out of school and live in California. He remembers getting drunk, remembers Sean getting high. He remembers everyone playing video games or coding. And he remembers the way Sean's mouth tasted against his, all beer and pot. He hated it and loved it all at once.
"I remember." Eduardo finds that his voice sounds impossibly small, almost scared, when he is neither.
Sean turns, Eduardo feels it, sees it out of the corner of his eye. "I …" Sean stops.
Eduardo turns, tearing his gaze away from the rain. "You what?" There's a tinge of impatience in his tone, something he regrets, but can't keep out.
He expects Sean to answer, to say something, but he doesn't. Eduardo watches, like it's in slow motion. Sean shifts, hesitating, then leans forward. Fingers against Eduardo's jaw, tipping his head and then they're kissing. Sean doesn't taste like pot, this time, he tastes like beer, toothpaste and something Eduardo can't identify. He doesn't care, he finds himself kissing Sean back, hooking his fingers in the belt loops of Sean's jeans and tugging at him.
Eduardo's fooled around, been in a relationship or two, since college. A boy, a girl or two. He remembers them all, but there was something about that night, about kissing Sean in Mark's bedroom, pressed against the door, turned on by the knowledge that Mark could walk in on them at any moment. But this, Eduardo thinks, this is so much better. Sean's fingers press against the back of Eduardo's neck as he opens his mouth against Eduardo's, deepening the kiss. Eduardo shifts, breathing hard against Sean's mouth. He kisses him harder, tongue twisting into Sean's mouth. He curls a hand against Sean's hip, pushing him back against the window. The glass is cool, Eduardo knows this because Sean shudders a little. Or maybe it's the fact that Eduardo's trying to untuck Sean's shirt.
Sean's fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. His other hand scraping at the back of Eduardo's neck. There's nothing about this that reminds him of that night in Palo Alto, of the house, of Mark. He kisses Sean harder, listening to the noises Sean makes, pleased in small ways that he's the reason Sean's making them. Sean's hands move, his fingers fumbling with the buttons on Eduardo's shirt. His shirt falls open as Sean slides his hands against Eduardo's chest, thumbs against his nipples and Eduardo finds he wants this, he wants Sean. He bites at Sean's mouth, along his jaw, then his neck. He pulls at the collar of Sean's shirt, then fumbles with the tie.
Eduardo has to pull back in order to take Sean's tie off, to unbutton his shirt. Sean shrugs out of his suit coat, letting it fall to the floor. His shirt follows next, Eduardo's fingers pushing it off of Sean's shoulders. Sean does the same with Eduardo's and for a moment they both freeze. But Eduardo pushes on through, if Sean's here, he doesn't want to ruin this, to let it slip away, again. He reaches out, fingers curled over the waistband of Sean's jeans, tugging at him, pulling him close. They're kissing again, stumbling backward, away from the window and toward the couch. Eduardo kisses Sean harder, tugging at his bottom lip with his teeth.
Somewhere in the middle of the room, they stop. Eduardo looks at Sean and thinks, I want to fuck him. And then he thinks, shit, I'm not prepared. But Sean's already moving, reading Eduardo's mind.
"I wanted this." Sean's talking fast, the words spilling out of him. "When I was … I wanted this, you. I've … Since that night." He's digging in his backpack and then Eduardo is laughing, almost hysterically.
"Did you." He pauses, catching his breath and watching as Sean pulls out condoms and lube. "Did you come all this way …" He stops and then looks at Sean, feeling wide-eyed and slightly stunned. "All this way for me?"
Sean nods, crossing the room in quick strides until he's pressed right up against Eduardo. They're kissing again, the lube and condoms dropped on the couch behind them. The back is digging into Eduardo's legs, but he doesn't care because he's sliding his hands down Sean's back, scraping his nails lightly against Sean's skin. Kissing him harder, needier, because he wants this too. Because he's wanted this. Because Sean's come all this way for him. He thinks, there are questions he should be asking, before they do this. But he can't, because Sean's mouth is on his. Because Sean's hands are sliding down, against his ass. Squeezing and pressing their hips together. Sean's grinding against him and Eduardo's leaning against the couch, not quiet sitting, but he has enough balance to hook a leg around one of Sean's, jerking their bodies closer together.
Eduardo is hard, achingly so, pressing roughly against Sean. He can feel Sean, through his jeans. The friction of their bodies moving making them both moan. If Eduardo wanted, he could come right now, from this. But he doesn't want to, because there are things they need to do first, because he wants to wait, before Sean walks out of his life again. So he holds himself together, biting at Sean's chest, making him moan louder, which just makes Eduardo's cock twitch. Sean shifts, half-thrusting and Eduardo wants them to cross the line they didn't, before, in Mark's bedroom. He wants to see Sean, to touch him, to watch him come. Because even though he hasn't thought about this moment in a long time, now that it's here, he doesn't want to miss a second.
He slides his hands down, fingers on the top of Sean's jeans. He shifts, pulling his head back slightly, looking at Sean, who nods. Eduardo makes quick work of Sean's jeans, unfastening them deftly, ignoring that Sean's taking off Eduardo's own pants at the same time. He pushes them down, Sean's boxers too, over his hips, then his cock. Sean sucks in air, but then gets Eduardo back a moment later. Eduardo's pants are tighter, his underwear is boxer briefs and Sean brushes his fingers against Eduardo's cock before he finishes undressing him. There's an awkward moment when they both realize they're still wearing shoes and Eduardo almost pitches forward, but Sean catches him. Their bodies collide and Eduardo feels like he's on fire, shuddering in the chill of his apartment, but hot every time he touches Sean.
Sean steps out of his clothes, leaving a puddle of jeans, shoes and socks. Eduardo's clothes are next to his, a similar pile. And then Sean's pulling him toward the couch. Eduardo's had sex in his apartment, but never on the couch. Always in bed, mostly because he tries to be romantic, maybe a little too hard, but he tries. But not for this. At least not this time, he thinks and then wonders what kind of next time there'll be, for the two of them. But then Sean's pushing him onto his back and Eduardo's swearing, out loud, because Sean's spreading lube onto his fingers.
"Spread your legs." Sean's voice is a low, far too sexy growl. Eduardo moans, he can't help it, and he does as he's asked.
It's awkward, his couch isn't quite big enough, wide enough. But it doesn't matter when Sean pushes a finger inside of him. He twists it, making Eduardo shudder. Then he adds another and Eduardo shifts, spreading more and he pulls Sean in for a kiss. Sean kisses him roughly, twisting his fingers inside Eduardo, before adding a third. Eduardo gasps a little, biting at Sean's mouth. Then he's ready, begging.
"Please, Sean." The words slip out of him and Sean nods. He rips a condom open, sliding it on. Eduardo's reaching for the lube, wanting to be part of this, to remind himself that this is real, that Sean is real, even if it's only temporary. He squeezes lube onto his fingers, rubbing them together and then strokes at Sean's cock.
Sean watches him, biting his bottom lip. Then he shifts, pulling away. Eduardo starts to move, onto his knees, but Sean touches him. He doesn't say no, stop, but Eduardo does because he can see it on Sean's face. He takes a breath and Sean pushes him slowly onto his back. Eduardo thinks, my couch isn't big enough, but then Sean's crawling between his legs, pushing one up, the other half dangling off the cushions and then, oh. Eduardo gets it. He bites the inside of his cheek, waiting, then Sean shifts, pushing into him, then thrusting.
It's been, Eduardo can't remember when, but awhile. He's tight, he knows, but Sean's thrusting, a little faster now, and Eduardo can't believe he forgot how good this feels. It's awkward, still. He reaches for Sean, wants to touch and kiss him, but it'd hard at this angle and he just settles for Sean's hand, his fingers in his mouth. Sean moves his hips faster and Eduardo's breathless already, harder than before. Sean pulls his hand from Eduardo's, dropping it down. He drags his fingers along Eduardo's chest, then curls them around his cock, stroking. Eduardo arches, taking Sean in deeper without even realizing. They're both breathing hard, panting and gasping for air.
Eduardo curls his fingers around Sean's hand around his cock, moving their hands together. Sean speeds up his thrusts and Eduardo thinks, this isn't a first time for either of them. For a distracted moment, he thinks it almost wasn't a first time for them, together. But then Sean shifts, thrusting deeper and Eduardo comes with a soft moan. He shudders, coming over both their hands and onto his chest. Sean makes a low, guttural noise, almost a growl, and Eduardo can feel just how close he is. He squeezes around Sean, not quite sitting but reaching, touching. He licks his come from his fingers, then Sean's and it's enough, somehow. Because Sean's coming, quiet and breathless. Then he leans forward, pulling Eduardo up to meet him halfway and they kiss, hard and rough.
Sean pulls back first. He slowly slides out of Eduardo and peels the condom off. He stands, Eduardo can see that his legs are a bit wobbly, but he doesn't move just yet. He watches Sean and then slowly sits up. He runs a hand through his hair, feeling sticky, but he doesn't want to move much, not yet.
"Bathroom's right around the corner." He offers and Sean glances over his shoulder, flashing Eduardo a smile.
A moment later and Eduardo does get up, arching his back and stretching slightly. For a moment he thinks he should gather up their clothes but then changes his mind. He follows Sean to the bathroom, then leans against doorframe. He's conscious of being naked, but Sean's naked and so he's determined not to let it bother him. Sean turns from the trash can, next to the sink, glancing at Eduardo. Neither of them move, but then Sean does. He crosses the small room and presses his mouth against Eduardo's.
They kiss, standing there in Eduardo's bathroom. They're both sticky with come and Eduardo doesn't care, at least not when Sean's mouth is on his. Eduardo pulls back first, fingers against the side of Sean's face, and it's so fucking intimate that it hurts, just a little. So he pulls back a bit more, then reaches for a clean washcloth. Sean smiles, stepping to the side. Eduardo cleans himself off, then takes a breath and does the same for Sean. He doesn't complain, just smiles again, almost shyly, something Eduardo's never seen before. He likes this, another side of Sean. He rinses the washcloth off, hanging it up to dry and then they lapse into a brief moment of awkward silence before Eduardo gathers himself together.
"Want to borrow something to wear?" He asks, his voice seems loud in the quiet apartment.
Sean nods, looking almost grateful that Eduardo's broken the silence. "Yeah, that'd be nice."
The silence slips between them again, awkward and strained. Eduardo takes a breath, then slips past Sean. He glances over his shoulder, glad when Sean follows him to the bedroom. Eduardo digs through his drawers and then fishes out two pairs of pajama pants. He rarely wears them, but they're clean and comfortable. One of them says Harvard down the leg, the other's just black. Sean takes the Harvard ones with a look of amusement on his face and tugs them on. Eduardo tries not to think about how kind of unnervingly hot it is that Sean's wearing his clothes. He pulls the other pair on and then looks over at Sean.
"I didn't think it'd be so …" Sean stops, fiddling with the string on his pants.
"Awkward." Eduardo offers.
Sean nods.
"Sorry." Eduardo mumbles.
Sean shakes his head this time. "No, it's. I've wanted …" He stops, paces a little and then starts again. "I wanted you, that night. I would've, you know."
"But we didn't." Eduardo's voice is strained and if he closes his eyes, which he won't, he could see the way Sean looked at him.
Sean crosses the short distance between them. "I wasn't. No, I mean. I'm not that person, not anymore." He touches Eduardo's shoulder, then his arms where they're crossed.
Eduardo doesn't pull away. "I'm not, either."
"I know, it's just ..." Sean stops, unable to finish his sentence.
Eduardo leans in, gently pressing his mouth against Sean's. "Some things never change."
Sean lifts his hand up, against the back of Eduardo's neck and they're kissing again, hard and intense, but different than before. There's no desperation and Eduardo thinks it almost feels like goodbye, but he knows it's not, at least not yet. And he's grateful for that, because he's not ready to let go, he will be, he can feel it, but not just yet.
"Some people never change, either." Sean whispers against Eduardo's mouth and there's a bitterness there that surprises Eduardo.
He pulls back, but not far, and he rests his head against Sean's. "Did he hurt you, too?"
Sean hesitates, then replies. "He hurt us all."
Eduardo doesn't say anything, but he doesn't need to. They don't really need to talk about this. He'd heard the rumors, about all of them. Everyone leaves Mark in the end, he thinks, but without regret. He did what he had to do and so did Mark, which is how he ended up here. And it's why Sean's in his arms. He turns back to Sean, the distracted way he's feeling is echoed on Sean's face, so he does the only thing he can think of doing and kisses him. They stand that way, in the middle of Eduardo's bedroom, kissing, for how long, Eduardo doesn't know. But night's fallen by the time they pull apart.
He slips his hand into Sean's, gently tugging him out of the bedroom and into the living room. It's still raining, but at night everything's softer, making the room glow. Sean gets distracted by the lights from outside, making Eduardo smile to himself. He kisses Sean's shoulders, letting himself wish secretly that this could last forever. Of course it can't, he knows this and is fine with it, mostly, but when Sean glances at him, Eduardo imagines he's thinking the same thing. Then Sean turns all the way around, mouth against Eduardo's through, kissing him softly. They pull apart, eventually, the awkwardness between them gone, as if it'd never been there in the first place.
"Dinner?" Eduardo asks.
Sean nods, then glances at his clothes, picking them up.
"I'll order in." He replies as Sean hands him his own pants. He fishes his phone out and calls a shop nearby. A few minutes later he's ordered and Sean's picked up and neatly folded their clothes.
Sean looks over from where he's sitting on the couch, flipping through a month old copy of Wired sitting on Eduardo's coffee table.
"30 minutes or so." Eduardo says, sitting down next to him. He glances at the clothes, stacked in two piles on the far end of the couch. "I see you really have changed." He teases and for a moment he thinks Sean won't laugh, but then he does.
"Alex's fault. I have to do laundry these days." He says with a smile.
Eduardo's gut twists and thinks, Sean's cheating on his fiancé. He also wants to know if he should bring this up, but he can't, at least not yet. They've only just worked through the awkwardness and he's not ready to destroy it, not yet. He takes a breath, changing the subject.
"How long are you staying?" He's also scared of this answer, but it has to be asked.
Sean shrugs. "I don't … Probably until tomorrow." He says, his voice dipping down to near-whisper at the end of the word.
Eduardo looks over, reaching out and laces his fingers through Sean's. Things he'd never do in public, maybe not even with a girl he was dating. But with Sean, it just seems right. They don't have much time, Eduardo thinks. Twenty four hours, at the most. He feels Sean's fingers squeezing his hand and looks over at him.
"We'll just have to make the best of it." Eduardo says, quietly.
Sean nods, letting the magazine drop back onto the coffee table.
Eduardo thinks about the questions he could ask. He could ask about Alex, or Sean's new company whatever it might be. He could ask about Facebook. Or Mark, he knows they're still friends, but he doesn't. Sean doesn't ask why Eduardo's living in Singapore, or what he's doing with all his money, or even about the millions of projects he seems to be doing. And Eduardo finds that he's glad. Sean's not a reporter, he doesn't have an agenda, other than getting Eduardo into bed. And for some reason that makes him laugh, out loud.
Sean glances over. "What?"
Eduardo shakes his head, fighting a smile. "Just thinking."
"About?"
"Your agenda."
Sean arches an eyebrow.
"Most people who want to see me want something from me, usually money." Eduardo starts and is about to go on when Sean interrupts.
"I'm not most people, but I do want something from you." He sounds mischievous and it makes Eduardo smile again.
"To get me into bed." He replies, before Sean can finish his thought.
And then they're both laughing. Eduardo likes it because they're friends again, not just two friends who're fucking, but friends who genuinely like each other. And maybe once, a long time ago, he resented Sean. But he wasn't the same man he is today, he's not the same man he was that night when he pressed Sean up against the door. But then again, none of them are and not just because they're rich.
They lapse into silence again, until Sean reaches for the remote and tries to work Eduardo's new TV. Eduardo turns it on and then leaves Sean flipping through the channels while he escapes to the kitchen to clear his head and get them both something to drink. He stares out the window near the breakfast nook, the only table he uses regularly. He can feel the storm coming as he grabs two bottles of beer. He twists the tops off, leaving them next to the first two still on the counter.
When he returns to the living room, Sean's watching a movie, something with English subtitles, but in a language that Eduardo doesn't catch right away. He hands Sean a beer, then sits down next to him. They sit close, legs and arms touching. Eduardo imagines what his life would be like, if they did this every day for the rest of their lives. He can picture it, but he'd rather not. Sean's not in his life anymore, never really was. He's in Eduardo's life because of Mark, but he's not here because of Mark and that's what Eduardo finds he really likes about Sean being here.
He shifts, leaning against Sean. They sit that way, leaning against each other and drinking beer, until the doorman calls up to let them know the food's on the way. Eduardo crosses to the door, his wallet sitting on the table next to the door, with his keys. He pulls out some money, then opens the door, paying for their food. He takes the bags into the kitchen, setting them on the counter. He doesn't notice that the tv's gone off until he realizes his apartment is quiet. He glances up and Sean's walking into the kitchen.
"Can I help?" He asks.
Eduardo shrugs. "There are plates behind you."
Sean turns, opening a cupboard and gets out two plates. He sets them on the counter and then opens drawers until he finds silverware. Eduardo eats out a lot or orders in, the only meal he cooks consistently is breakfast. He busies himself serving their food, not sure what Sean'll like, but giving him a little bit of everything. Sean disappears for a moment, returning with their beer bottles. He sets them on the table of the breakfast nook and Eduardo realizes they're going to eat in here, instead of on the couch. It makes him smile inwardly, though he's not sure why.
He leaves the containers of food, now only half full, on the counter and carries the two plates over to the table. He sets one down in front of Sean and the other across the table. He slides into the chair, his knees brushing against Sean's. When he glances up, Sean's grinning at him. He ducks his head for a moment, then glances out the window. It's raining harder, but the storm's holding off at least for now. He feels Sean's leg against his own and turns back. Sean's eating, but glancing at Eduardo. He smiles at Sean, wondering how just eating dinner like this could be so comfortable. He tries not to think about how empty his apartment'll be when Sean leaves. So he pushes those thoughts away and starts eating instead. The only sounds are the rain and their chewing, both quiet and almost muffled.
After a few minutes, Sean finally speaks. "Eduardo …." He starts and Eduardo looks up. "Did you run away?"
Eduardo opens his mouth to answer, then shuts it, wondering what kind of question that is. He doesn't know how to answer it and so he picks at his food, eating some vegetables as he tries to formulate some sort of answer. He can feel Sean's gaze on him, but he doesn't look up.
Sean's talking again. "I'm sorry, I meant when you left to go back to Harvard. Not, you know, coming here."
There's something in Sean's voice that makes Eduardo look up. He swallows the food he's chewing and holds Sean's gaze. "No." He finally says and finds that it's true.
"Then why didn't you stay?"
Part Two
Fandom: TSN
Rating: R/NC-17
Pairing: Eduardo/Sean
Disclaimer: This is not real, this never happened. I don't know them and this is all fiction. Made up stuff.
Notes: This is for thesocialbbang. Thanks to the mods for letting me post, even though I totally forgot to post on my day (and almost forgot to post today, stupid real life/work/etc). Thank you to everyone who read this and told me it didn't suck. And thank you to the lovely insteadofdeath for her truly amazing fanart! It's so awesome and lovely.
Art by insteadofdeath
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It's raining when the doorman calls up to Eduardo's apartment. He's standing by the tall plate glass windows and staring at the water streaming down. It's afternoon, but the skies are dark enough that it could be early evening. He doesn't mind the rain, the way it muffles the sounds from outside. But not the buzzer, which startles him out of his daze. He crosses the room, wondering who could possibly want to see him. He knows Rachel's out of town and his other friends are busy. He glances at the calendar on his phone, no appointments, no meetings.
There's another sharp jolt of noise from the buzzer, right as he's about to answer. He almost drops his phone but manages to shove it into his pocket instead. He presses the button. "Hello?"
"Mr. Saverin, there's someone here to see you." The voice of the doorman sounds tinny, but Eduardo's used to it by now.
"Who is it?" He asks, half anxious and half curious.
Silence, and then, "A Mr. Parker."
For a split second Eduardo thinks he doesn't know anyone named Parker. And then he remembers that yeah, he does. There's an emotion flooding through him that he can't identify right away. Maybe it's dread, but that's not right.
He swallows. "Send him up." The words are out of his mouth before he can convince himself otherwise.
It's not that he has a problem with Sean, because he never had one, not really. They had their differences, but in the end it wasn't Sean who made the decisions. It was Mark. And if Eduardo was in Mark's shoes, who's to say he'd wouldn't've made the same decisions. Except for the part where he wouldn't have, but he really doesn't blame Sean. It was Mark, all along. A Mark that Eduardo never really knew, or at least one he pretended not to see.
He turns away from the speaker next to his door and looks outside. It hasn't stopped raining and if anything, it's gotten worse. Maybe they'll have a proper storm. He doesn't have time to dwell on it, because there's knocking at his door. He runs a hand through his hair, clears his throat and turns back to the door. He hesitates just slightly, with his hand on the handle, because what the fuck is Sean Parker doing at his door. And then, almost with a will of it's own, his hand's turning the knob, pulling the door open.
"Eduardo." Sean's voice is just like Eduardo remembers, which he thinks is a slightly odd thing to notice, but it's been a long time.
Eduardo pushes out a smile which ends up being more genuine then when it started. Sean smiles back and Eduardo thinks that he might resent Mark, just a little, for getting in the way of other friendships Eduardo might have, could have, had.
"Come in." Eduardo steps out of the way and Sean walks past him. Eduardo looks for luggage, but the only thing Sean's carrying is a backpack. "Traveling light?" He asks after shutting the door.
Sean doesn't turn around from where he's looking, which Eduardo takes to be everywhere, when he answers. "I didn't know I was coming here until my car ended up at the airport."
Eduardo arches both eyebrows, but Sean's staring out the window now. He crosses the room, gently taking the backpack from Sean. He sets it on the dining room table he rarely uses and then looks back over at Sean.
"Want a beer?" He offers to fill the silence.
This time Sean does turn. He looks older, tired. He looks like Eduardo imagines they all look. During the depositions, all of that bullshit, he hadn't seen Sean. They'd talked, a few times, had lunch after the whole thing was over. Then Eduardo moved here and Sean left Facebook.
Sean nods.
Eduardo doesn't know what else to say, so he disappears into the kitchen. He doesn't hear Sean until he turns from the refrigerator. He wordlessly hands the beer to Sean and then takes one for himself. The tops twist off, which is good because Eduardo can't remember where his bottle opener is, or if he even has one. He opens the bottle, letting the cap clatter loudly on the counter.
"It's nice," Sean says after a long drink of beer.
"What?" Eduardo replies, startled.
Sean smiles slightly. "Your place. This city."
Eduardo pulls himself together, wondering when his default setting became ill at ease. He smiles back at Sean. "Thanks. I'm not sure I'll ever leave."
Sean nods, taking another drink.
Eduardo does the same, then clears his throat. "So, uh. Why're you here, Sean?"
To his credit, Sean doesn't seem to be all that offended. "It's complicated."
Eduardo nods and then thinks about all the things that could possibly make Sean come here. They go from ridiculous to horrific and Eduardo's mouth is working without his permission.
"You have cancer? Wait, no. You're still friends with Mark … Shit, Mark has cancer? He's dying and he wants to apologize?" Eduardo sounds a bit ridiculous and he knows this, but he finds he can think of thousands of reasons why Sean would be here. He's about to start again when Sean holds up his hand.
There's amusement in his voice when he answers. "No. It's just … It's not about Mark, you know? It's never been."
Eduardo doesn't answer, but he doesn't need to because he knows they're not talking about Mark. Not really.
"I'm getting married," Sean says after a moment.
Eduardo nods. He knows this, it's hard not to. He tried, at first, to keep away from all the Facebook news, but it was impossible. Eventually he just accepted that people would email him shit, that stories would find their way to him and that he couldn't truly escape from Facebook. Which is why he's living in an extremely expensive apartment in Singapore. But it doesn't explain why Sean's standing in his kitchen, drinking his beer.
"So you … came here?" Eduardo says, drinking half his beer in one go.
"Like I said, complicated." Sean pauses, then goes on. "You know, sometimes I think he misses you."
"Mark?"
Sean nods. "But not … It's hard to explain. But I'm not here because of him, or anyone else. I wanted to --" He stops, cutting himself off. He takes a drink of beer, then another, before finishing the bottle. He sets it on the counter.
"Wanted to what?" Eduardo prompts him, keeping his eyes on Sean as he finishes his own beer. Their bottles stand next to each other, Sean staring at them before looking back at Eduardo.
"Apologize."
The word hangs between them, almost like Eduardo could reach out and touch it. He wonders, why now, why you. But he can't form the words. He tries not to gape, it's not that he's shocked, it's just that he never expected apologies. A long time ago, before the money and the lawsuits, he wanted apologies. It was the only thing he wanted; the money, that was all later. Because he'd never get what he really wanted. But he's long since moved on from that. Times change, people change, and he's not a petty person, not anymore, if he ever was.
"For everything," Sean says, breaking the wall that seemed form between them.
Eduardo shakes his head. "You don't need to."
Sean bites his bottom lip and Eduardo has to tear his gaze away. "I had to." There's something in Sean's voice that Eduardo can't quite recognize. It's a sort of longing, maybe, but it confuses him.
"It wasn't your fault. It wasn't … It's all in the past now." Eduardo tries to find the words to explain that it's all okay, that it doesn't matter.
"Did you love him?" Sean asks, the words so unexpected that Eduardo takes a step back.
"Mark?" Eduardo asks, softly, and Sean nods. Eduardo wants to say no, he didn't. But he can't, because he did, maybe a little. A long time ago. Sean's watching him and Eduardo finds he can't answer the question. He stares at the floor.
Sean clears his throat, but Eduardo doesn't look up. "He's a hard person to love."
"Aren't we all?" Eduardo mumbles, then finally forces his gaze up. Sean's smiling at him again. "What?" Eduardo asks.
"My … Alex, she says the same thing." He laughs, softly.
Before he can stop himself, Eduardo says "That Mark's a hard person to love?"
Sean laughs again, a proper laugh. "That I am. That she is. That we all are."
And just like that, Eduardo laughs. He thinks, Sean's right, that Sean's fiancé is right. He glances at Sean again, finds him grinning and he can't help but return the grin. It reaches his eyes this time, he can feel it and thinks about all the fun they had, before it all went south. Before everything changed.
"We used to be friends," Eduardo says, quietly, when they've both stopped laughing.
Sean's eyes darken a little and he holds Eduardo's gaze. "It sucked, everything that happened." He pauses, then. "I'm sorry. About all of it. About Facebook, about Ma--" Eduardo holds up a hand, cutting him off.
"Stop." He says, quietly.
Sean looks at him, confused.
"You knew me. We were different people then, but you knew me. You knew what I wanted, for Mark, for Facebook. It … We've all grown up." He finishes, lamely.
"I wanted to say it, because he never will. Because he doesn't …" Sean can't finish the sentence.
Eduardo looks away, shoving his hands in his pocket, fingers curling around his phone. "He doesn't think it's necessary." He murmurs, finishing Sean's sentence as he walks out of the kitchen and back into his living room.
Sean follows him, almost too close, but not quite. "No."
Eduardo stands in front of his window, feeling Sean standing next to him without looking. "Then why you?"
"Do you remember, the night before you went back to New York?" Sean asks, quietly. Eduardo doesn't know if Sean's looking at him, he doesn't want to know.
Of course he remembers that night. He'd stayed in the house for almost two months, but Harvard was starting up again and he had a life to get back to, school to finish up and so many other things to do. He was going back to school and he knew, by then, that Mark wasn't ever coming back. It was killing him, eating him alive, but he went back anyway. He wanted to make the company work, even if Mark wanted to drop out of school and live in California. He remembers getting drunk, remembers Sean getting high. He remembers everyone playing video games or coding. And he remembers the way Sean's mouth tasted against his, all beer and pot. He hated it and loved it all at once.
"I remember." Eduardo finds that his voice sounds impossibly small, almost scared, when he is neither.
Sean turns, Eduardo feels it, sees it out of the corner of his eye. "I …" Sean stops.
Eduardo turns, tearing his gaze away from the rain. "You what?" There's a tinge of impatience in his tone, something he regrets, but can't keep out.
He expects Sean to answer, to say something, but he doesn't. Eduardo watches, like it's in slow motion. Sean shifts, hesitating, then leans forward. Fingers against Eduardo's jaw, tipping his head and then they're kissing. Sean doesn't taste like pot, this time, he tastes like beer, toothpaste and something Eduardo can't identify. He doesn't care, he finds himself kissing Sean back, hooking his fingers in the belt loops of Sean's jeans and tugging at him.
Eduardo's fooled around, been in a relationship or two, since college. A boy, a girl or two. He remembers them all, but there was something about that night, about kissing Sean in Mark's bedroom, pressed against the door, turned on by the knowledge that Mark could walk in on them at any moment. But this, Eduardo thinks, this is so much better. Sean's fingers press against the back of Eduardo's neck as he opens his mouth against Eduardo's, deepening the kiss. Eduardo shifts, breathing hard against Sean's mouth. He kisses him harder, tongue twisting into Sean's mouth. He curls a hand against Sean's hip, pushing him back against the window. The glass is cool, Eduardo knows this because Sean shudders a little. Or maybe it's the fact that Eduardo's trying to untuck Sean's shirt.
Sean's fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. His other hand scraping at the back of Eduardo's neck. There's nothing about this that reminds him of that night in Palo Alto, of the house, of Mark. He kisses Sean harder, listening to the noises Sean makes, pleased in small ways that he's the reason Sean's making them. Sean's hands move, his fingers fumbling with the buttons on Eduardo's shirt. His shirt falls open as Sean slides his hands against Eduardo's chest, thumbs against his nipples and Eduardo finds he wants this, he wants Sean. He bites at Sean's mouth, along his jaw, then his neck. He pulls at the collar of Sean's shirt, then fumbles with the tie.
Eduardo has to pull back in order to take Sean's tie off, to unbutton his shirt. Sean shrugs out of his suit coat, letting it fall to the floor. His shirt follows next, Eduardo's fingers pushing it off of Sean's shoulders. Sean does the same with Eduardo's and for a moment they both freeze. But Eduardo pushes on through, if Sean's here, he doesn't want to ruin this, to let it slip away, again. He reaches out, fingers curled over the waistband of Sean's jeans, tugging at him, pulling him close. They're kissing again, stumbling backward, away from the window and toward the couch. Eduardo kisses Sean harder, tugging at his bottom lip with his teeth.
Somewhere in the middle of the room, they stop. Eduardo looks at Sean and thinks, I want to fuck him. And then he thinks, shit, I'm not prepared. But Sean's already moving, reading Eduardo's mind.
"I wanted this." Sean's talking fast, the words spilling out of him. "When I was … I wanted this, you. I've … Since that night." He's digging in his backpack and then Eduardo is laughing, almost hysterically.
"Did you." He pauses, catching his breath and watching as Sean pulls out condoms and lube. "Did you come all this way …" He stops and then looks at Sean, feeling wide-eyed and slightly stunned. "All this way for me?"
Sean nods, crossing the room in quick strides until he's pressed right up against Eduardo. They're kissing again, the lube and condoms dropped on the couch behind them. The back is digging into Eduardo's legs, but he doesn't care because he's sliding his hands down Sean's back, scraping his nails lightly against Sean's skin. Kissing him harder, needier, because he wants this too. Because he's wanted this. Because Sean's come all this way for him. He thinks, there are questions he should be asking, before they do this. But he can't, because Sean's mouth is on his. Because Sean's hands are sliding down, against his ass. Squeezing and pressing their hips together. Sean's grinding against him and Eduardo's leaning against the couch, not quiet sitting, but he has enough balance to hook a leg around one of Sean's, jerking their bodies closer together.
Eduardo is hard, achingly so, pressing roughly against Sean. He can feel Sean, through his jeans. The friction of their bodies moving making them both moan. If Eduardo wanted, he could come right now, from this. But he doesn't want to, because there are things they need to do first, because he wants to wait, before Sean walks out of his life again. So he holds himself together, biting at Sean's chest, making him moan louder, which just makes Eduardo's cock twitch. Sean shifts, half-thrusting and Eduardo wants them to cross the line they didn't, before, in Mark's bedroom. He wants to see Sean, to touch him, to watch him come. Because even though he hasn't thought about this moment in a long time, now that it's here, he doesn't want to miss a second.
He slides his hands down, fingers on the top of Sean's jeans. He shifts, pulling his head back slightly, looking at Sean, who nods. Eduardo makes quick work of Sean's jeans, unfastening them deftly, ignoring that Sean's taking off Eduardo's own pants at the same time. He pushes them down, Sean's boxers too, over his hips, then his cock. Sean sucks in air, but then gets Eduardo back a moment later. Eduardo's pants are tighter, his underwear is boxer briefs and Sean brushes his fingers against Eduardo's cock before he finishes undressing him. There's an awkward moment when they both realize they're still wearing shoes and Eduardo almost pitches forward, but Sean catches him. Their bodies collide and Eduardo feels like he's on fire, shuddering in the chill of his apartment, but hot every time he touches Sean.
Sean steps out of his clothes, leaving a puddle of jeans, shoes and socks. Eduardo's clothes are next to his, a similar pile. And then Sean's pulling him toward the couch. Eduardo's had sex in his apartment, but never on the couch. Always in bed, mostly because he tries to be romantic, maybe a little too hard, but he tries. But not for this. At least not this time, he thinks and then wonders what kind of next time there'll be, for the two of them. But then Sean's pushing him onto his back and Eduardo's swearing, out loud, because Sean's spreading lube onto his fingers.
"Spread your legs." Sean's voice is a low, far too sexy growl. Eduardo moans, he can't help it, and he does as he's asked.
It's awkward, his couch isn't quite big enough, wide enough. But it doesn't matter when Sean pushes a finger inside of him. He twists it, making Eduardo shudder. Then he adds another and Eduardo shifts, spreading more and he pulls Sean in for a kiss. Sean kisses him roughly, twisting his fingers inside Eduardo, before adding a third. Eduardo gasps a little, biting at Sean's mouth. Then he's ready, begging.
"Please, Sean." The words slip out of him and Sean nods. He rips a condom open, sliding it on. Eduardo's reaching for the lube, wanting to be part of this, to remind himself that this is real, that Sean is real, even if it's only temporary. He squeezes lube onto his fingers, rubbing them together and then strokes at Sean's cock.
Sean watches him, biting his bottom lip. Then he shifts, pulling away. Eduardo starts to move, onto his knees, but Sean touches him. He doesn't say no, stop, but Eduardo does because he can see it on Sean's face. He takes a breath and Sean pushes him slowly onto his back. Eduardo thinks, my couch isn't big enough, but then Sean's crawling between his legs, pushing one up, the other half dangling off the cushions and then, oh. Eduardo gets it. He bites the inside of his cheek, waiting, then Sean shifts, pushing into him, then thrusting.
It's been, Eduardo can't remember when, but awhile. He's tight, he knows, but Sean's thrusting, a little faster now, and Eduardo can't believe he forgot how good this feels. It's awkward, still. He reaches for Sean, wants to touch and kiss him, but it'd hard at this angle and he just settles for Sean's hand, his fingers in his mouth. Sean moves his hips faster and Eduardo's breathless already, harder than before. Sean pulls his hand from Eduardo's, dropping it down. He drags his fingers along Eduardo's chest, then curls them around his cock, stroking. Eduardo arches, taking Sean in deeper without even realizing. They're both breathing hard, panting and gasping for air.
Eduardo curls his fingers around Sean's hand around his cock, moving their hands together. Sean speeds up his thrusts and Eduardo thinks, this isn't a first time for either of them. For a distracted moment, he thinks it almost wasn't a first time for them, together. But then Sean shifts, thrusting deeper and Eduardo comes with a soft moan. He shudders, coming over both their hands and onto his chest. Sean makes a low, guttural noise, almost a growl, and Eduardo can feel just how close he is. He squeezes around Sean, not quite sitting but reaching, touching. He licks his come from his fingers, then Sean's and it's enough, somehow. Because Sean's coming, quiet and breathless. Then he leans forward, pulling Eduardo up to meet him halfway and they kiss, hard and rough.
Sean pulls back first. He slowly slides out of Eduardo and peels the condom off. He stands, Eduardo can see that his legs are a bit wobbly, but he doesn't move just yet. He watches Sean and then slowly sits up. He runs a hand through his hair, feeling sticky, but he doesn't want to move much, not yet.
"Bathroom's right around the corner." He offers and Sean glances over his shoulder, flashing Eduardo a smile.
A moment later and Eduardo does get up, arching his back and stretching slightly. For a moment he thinks he should gather up their clothes but then changes his mind. He follows Sean to the bathroom, then leans against doorframe. He's conscious of being naked, but Sean's naked and so he's determined not to let it bother him. Sean turns from the trash can, next to the sink, glancing at Eduardo. Neither of them move, but then Sean does. He crosses the small room and presses his mouth against Eduardo's.
They kiss, standing there in Eduardo's bathroom. They're both sticky with come and Eduardo doesn't care, at least not when Sean's mouth is on his. Eduardo pulls back first, fingers against the side of Sean's face, and it's so fucking intimate that it hurts, just a little. So he pulls back a bit more, then reaches for a clean washcloth. Sean smiles, stepping to the side. Eduardo cleans himself off, then takes a breath and does the same for Sean. He doesn't complain, just smiles again, almost shyly, something Eduardo's never seen before. He likes this, another side of Sean. He rinses the washcloth off, hanging it up to dry and then they lapse into a brief moment of awkward silence before Eduardo gathers himself together.
"Want to borrow something to wear?" He asks, his voice seems loud in the quiet apartment.
Sean nods, looking almost grateful that Eduardo's broken the silence. "Yeah, that'd be nice."
The silence slips between them again, awkward and strained. Eduardo takes a breath, then slips past Sean. He glances over his shoulder, glad when Sean follows him to the bedroom. Eduardo digs through his drawers and then fishes out two pairs of pajama pants. He rarely wears them, but they're clean and comfortable. One of them says Harvard down the leg, the other's just black. Sean takes the Harvard ones with a look of amusement on his face and tugs them on. Eduardo tries not to think about how kind of unnervingly hot it is that Sean's wearing his clothes. He pulls the other pair on and then looks over at Sean.
"I didn't think it'd be so …" Sean stops, fiddling with the string on his pants.
"Awkward." Eduardo offers.
Sean nods.
"Sorry." Eduardo mumbles.
Sean shakes his head this time. "No, it's. I've wanted …" He stops, paces a little and then starts again. "I wanted you, that night. I would've, you know."
"But we didn't." Eduardo's voice is strained and if he closes his eyes, which he won't, he could see the way Sean looked at him.
Sean crosses the short distance between them. "I wasn't. No, I mean. I'm not that person, not anymore." He touches Eduardo's shoulder, then his arms where they're crossed.
Eduardo doesn't pull away. "I'm not, either."
"I know, it's just ..." Sean stops, unable to finish his sentence.
Eduardo leans in, gently pressing his mouth against Sean's. "Some things never change."
Sean lifts his hand up, against the back of Eduardo's neck and they're kissing again, hard and intense, but different than before. There's no desperation and Eduardo thinks it almost feels like goodbye, but he knows it's not, at least not yet. And he's grateful for that, because he's not ready to let go, he will be, he can feel it, but not just yet.
"Some people never change, either." Sean whispers against Eduardo's mouth and there's a bitterness there that surprises Eduardo.
He pulls back, but not far, and he rests his head against Sean's. "Did he hurt you, too?"
Sean hesitates, then replies. "He hurt us all."
Eduardo doesn't say anything, but he doesn't need to. They don't really need to talk about this. He'd heard the rumors, about all of them. Everyone leaves Mark in the end, he thinks, but without regret. He did what he had to do and so did Mark, which is how he ended up here. And it's why Sean's in his arms. He turns back to Sean, the distracted way he's feeling is echoed on Sean's face, so he does the only thing he can think of doing and kisses him. They stand that way, in the middle of Eduardo's bedroom, kissing, for how long, Eduardo doesn't know. But night's fallen by the time they pull apart.
He slips his hand into Sean's, gently tugging him out of the bedroom and into the living room. It's still raining, but at night everything's softer, making the room glow. Sean gets distracted by the lights from outside, making Eduardo smile to himself. He kisses Sean's shoulders, letting himself wish secretly that this could last forever. Of course it can't, he knows this and is fine with it, mostly, but when Sean glances at him, Eduardo imagines he's thinking the same thing. Then Sean turns all the way around, mouth against Eduardo's through, kissing him softly. They pull apart, eventually, the awkwardness between them gone, as if it'd never been there in the first place.
"Dinner?" Eduardo asks.
Sean nods, then glances at his clothes, picking them up.
"I'll order in." He replies as Sean hands him his own pants. He fishes his phone out and calls a shop nearby. A few minutes later he's ordered and Sean's picked up and neatly folded their clothes.
Sean looks over from where he's sitting on the couch, flipping through a month old copy of Wired sitting on Eduardo's coffee table.
"30 minutes or so." Eduardo says, sitting down next to him. He glances at the clothes, stacked in two piles on the far end of the couch. "I see you really have changed." He teases and for a moment he thinks Sean won't laugh, but then he does.
"Alex's fault. I have to do laundry these days." He says with a smile.
Eduardo's gut twists and thinks, Sean's cheating on his fiancé. He also wants to know if he should bring this up, but he can't, at least not yet. They've only just worked through the awkwardness and he's not ready to destroy it, not yet. He takes a breath, changing the subject.
"How long are you staying?" He's also scared of this answer, but it has to be asked.
Sean shrugs. "I don't … Probably until tomorrow." He says, his voice dipping down to near-whisper at the end of the word.
Eduardo looks over, reaching out and laces his fingers through Sean's. Things he'd never do in public, maybe not even with a girl he was dating. But with Sean, it just seems right. They don't have much time, Eduardo thinks. Twenty four hours, at the most. He feels Sean's fingers squeezing his hand and looks over at him.
"We'll just have to make the best of it." Eduardo says, quietly.
Sean nods, letting the magazine drop back onto the coffee table.
Eduardo thinks about the questions he could ask. He could ask about Alex, or Sean's new company whatever it might be. He could ask about Facebook. Or Mark, he knows they're still friends, but he doesn't. Sean doesn't ask why Eduardo's living in Singapore, or what he's doing with all his money, or even about the millions of projects he seems to be doing. And Eduardo finds that he's glad. Sean's not a reporter, he doesn't have an agenda, other than getting Eduardo into bed. And for some reason that makes him laugh, out loud.
Sean glances over. "What?"
Eduardo shakes his head, fighting a smile. "Just thinking."
"About?"
"Your agenda."
Sean arches an eyebrow.
"Most people who want to see me want something from me, usually money." Eduardo starts and is about to go on when Sean interrupts.
"I'm not most people, but I do want something from you." He sounds mischievous and it makes Eduardo smile again.
"To get me into bed." He replies, before Sean can finish his thought.
And then they're both laughing. Eduardo likes it because they're friends again, not just two friends who're fucking, but friends who genuinely like each other. And maybe once, a long time ago, he resented Sean. But he wasn't the same man he is today, he's not the same man he was that night when he pressed Sean up against the door. But then again, none of them are and not just because they're rich.
They lapse into silence again, until Sean reaches for the remote and tries to work Eduardo's new TV. Eduardo turns it on and then leaves Sean flipping through the channels while he escapes to the kitchen to clear his head and get them both something to drink. He stares out the window near the breakfast nook, the only table he uses regularly. He can feel the storm coming as he grabs two bottles of beer. He twists the tops off, leaving them next to the first two still on the counter.
When he returns to the living room, Sean's watching a movie, something with English subtitles, but in a language that Eduardo doesn't catch right away. He hands Sean a beer, then sits down next to him. They sit close, legs and arms touching. Eduardo imagines what his life would be like, if they did this every day for the rest of their lives. He can picture it, but he'd rather not. Sean's not in his life anymore, never really was. He's in Eduardo's life because of Mark, but he's not here because of Mark and that's what Eduardo finds he really likes about Sean being here.
He shifts, leaning against Sean. They sit that way, leaning against each other and drinking beer, until the doorman calls up to let them know the food's on the way. Eduardo crosses to the door, his wallet sitting on the table next to the door, with his keys. He pulls out some money, then opens the door, paying for their food. He takes the bags into the kitchen, setting them on the counter. He doesn't notice that the tv's gone off until he realizes his apartment is quiet. He glances up and Sean's walking into the kitchen.
"Can I help?" He asks.
Eduardo shrugs. "There are plates behind you."
Sean turns, opening a cupboard and gets out two plates. He sets them on the counter and then opens drawers until he finds silverware. Eduardo eats out a lot or orders in, the only meal he cooks consistently is breakfast. He busies himself serving their food, not sure what Sean'll like, but giving him a little bit of everything. Sean disappears for a moment, returning with their beer bottles. He sets them on the table of the breakfast nook and Eduardo realizes they're going to eat in here, instead of on the couch. It makes him smile inwardly, though he's not sure why.
He leaves the containers of food, now only half full, on the counter and carries the two plates over to the table. He sets one down in front of Sean and the other across the table. He slides into the chair, his knees brushing against Sean's. When he glances up, Sean's grinning at him. He ducks his head for a moment, then glances out the window. It's raining harder, but the storm's holding off at least for now. He feels Sean's leg against his own and turns back. Sean's eating, but glancing at Eduardo. He smiles at Sean, wondering how just eating dinner like this could be so comfortable. He tries not to think about how empty his apartment'll be when Sean leaves. So he pushes those thoughts away and starts eating instead. The only sounds are the rain and their chewing, both quiet and almost muffled.
After a few minutes, Sean finally speaks. "Eduardo …." He starts and Eduardo looks up. "Did you run away?"
Eduardo opens his mouth to answer, then shuts it, wondering what kind of question that is. He doesn't know how to answer it and so he picks at his food, eating some vegetables as he tries to formulate some sort of answer. He can feel Sean's gaze on him, but he doesn't look up.
Sean's talking again. "I'm sorry, I meant when you left to go back to Harvard. Not, you know, coming here."
There's something in Sean's voice that makes Eduardo look up. He swallows the food he's chewing and holds Sean's gaze. "No." He finally says and finds that it's true.
"Then why didn't you stay?"
Part Two