The Secrets We Can't Tell

[parka_girl]

Title: The Secrets We Can't Tell
Fandom: Sports/Cycling RPF
Rating: R/NC-17
Pairing: Ben Swift/Geraint Thomas
Disclaimer: This is not real, this never happened. I don't know them and this is all fiction. Made up stuff.
Notes: This is for the vampirebigbang. Thank you to tour_treasure for everything, including encouragement and her lovely and excellent mix.

Mix: Here by tour_treasure

---

Ben gets back late, chaining his bike up outside the dorm and then taking the steps two at a time up toward his room. The hall's dark, though he notices light coming from under Russ' door. He almost knocks, but Russ is probably gaming or something, which he does in lieu of actual coursework. Ben jogs, quietly so as not to wake up the resident assistant, to the end of the long hall. His room, a single, faces the quad. Which works, because that's where all the sports teams warm up during off season. Across the hall is Geraint. His best friend, partner in crime and boy he has a crush on but won't tell. That last one's the hard part to deal with.

Lucy, the girl who lives below him, says that he's going to have to tell Geraint, even if it means they won't be best friends anymore. Ben thinks that's ridiculous, if Geraint can't figure out it (and he already knows that Ben's bi, because he totally walked in on Ben and Craig making out that one time last semester). Lucy says that Geraint's oblivious, which Ben denies. But the truth's not as complicated -- mostly Ben's just afraid of what'll happen if Geraint finds out. Boys don't have crushes on their best mates.

At least most boys don't. But then again, Ben doesn't want to be most boys, which is why he shaves his legs for cycling (which he does for a local team, as the school couldn't possibly have one) and knows he looks pretty fucking hot in a dress. Though that was only twice and Ben was kind of maybe drunk, but he's okay with that, even two years later. He turns from his door and back toward Geraint's. There's a light on, which is weird because Geraint's definitely a morning person. Ben checks his watch, again, and it's after 2 am. Which is even weirder because Ben can't remember the last time Geraint was awake at 2 am, except for the fire drill, but that doesn't count.

He takes a breath, turns back to his door, then around again. He crosses the hall and raises his hand to knock on the door. He hesitates, then knocks. He hears noises, but Geraint doesn't answer. Ben's kind of pissed, because Geraint's his best mate, they always answer each other (and they have a knock, which is kind of lame, but Ben doesn't care, best friends, after all). Five minutes pass, Ben knows because he can't stop checking his fucking watch, but no one answers. Eventually he gives up, scribbling a note on the whiteboard on Geraint's door before turning back to his own, unlocking it and crawling miserably into bed.

Ben oversleeps and rushes out the door, barely making it to class on time. He doesn't notice Geraint's missing until lunch. Usually they meet outside the library, but there's no Geraint. Russ is there, along with Alex and Peter. But no Geraint.

"Have you seen G?" He asks, casually, though all their mates know about the crush, it's like the biggest secret everyone knows -- except for Geraint.

Alex shrugs. "Not since dinner last night."

They walk in silence, Peter on his phone with his girlfriend back home. Alex hums softly, working on something for his band (a side project with people Ben doesn't know) and Russ pouring over a magazine, periodically causing Alex to haul him away from oncoming traffic and fellow students. Ben pulls out his phone, no texts. He sends a text to Geraint, his third in an hour, but like the other two, there's no response.

"Stop worrying." Russ says as shoves his magazine in his bag. "I'm sure he's fine."

"Who?" Peter asks, hanging up.

Alex rolls his eyes. "Geraint, Peter. Keep up."

Peter frowns and elbows Alex. "I think I heard him come in late last night."

"2 am?" Ben asks.

Peter shakes his head. "Earlier. But it was weird, you know? G's never out late."

Ben bites the inside of his cheek and nods. They all live in the same floor. Peter and his roommate, Leigh, live one room down from Geraint. Alex lives on the other side of the hall, but on the same floor.

They enter the dining hall and eat, but Geraint never shows up. It's start to really bother Ben, but he tries to push it out of his mind. He has a meeting, back in the library, for one of his classes, about Shakespeare's influences on literature of the 21st century. Their group project is due in two months and they need to start working a bit harder. So instead of going back to his dorm, he heads to the library.

It's late by the time he finishes up with the project. He turns his phone back on, three missed calls, no texts. The calls are from his mum, Peter and another from his mum. He listens to the voicemail from his mum, but doesn't call her back. Just sends her a quick email from his phone and then walks back to the dorm. He crosses the quad, which is mercifully empty, because he finds all he wants to do is get back to the dorm, crawl into bed and feel sorry for himself.

Which is exactly what he does. He doesn't see anyone, just locks himself in his room without even looking at Geraint's door. Well, maybe a tiny peek, but there isn't a light on. He changes into boxers and curls up under the covers. He stares up at the ceiling, all the hundreds of glowing stars that he and Geraint put up when the year started. This is the longest he's gone without talking to Geraint. Usually they talk all day, every day. But not a word and he's starting to be more than just normal upset.

He gets out of bed and walks to the window, pushing the curtains back and that's when he sees Geraint. He quietly opens his window, though he's on the third floor so it's not like Geraint can hear. But for a second Ben swears that Geraint turns toward the building and looks up at his window. He pulls back for some reason, letting the curtains fall. But then, when he peers back out, Geraint's talking to someone. Ben shifts forward, staring out into the darkness. Geraint and the strange person, kind of tall and skinny, are walking toward the building. They both stop under the streetlight and Ben recognizes the guy. He's one of Geraint's teachers, Brad something or other. Ben remembers being totally weirded out by him the first time they met, but Geraint likes him and that's enough for Ben.

Except now he's staring hard because Geraint obviously doesn't look happy. Ben wishes he could hear what Geraint's saying, but he knows his best friend well enough to recognize that something's wrong, really wrong. Geraint's pushes Brad away, stumbling backward. Brad's trying to grab at him and then Geraint's twisting away. He turns toward the building and walks into the shadows and out of Ben's line of sight. But Ben's watching Brad and he swears the professor turns and looks right up at him. Ben shudders and pulls the curtains violently closed, probably giving himself away, but he doesn't care.

And then he remembers that Geraint's coming into the building and he bolts out into the hall. It's quiet, so he hovers by his door. And then the door to their floor opens and suddenly Ben sees Geraint. He looks tired, thin and pale, which Ben finds weird. He doesn't say anything and Geraint doesn't look up, not even as he approaches and Ben's pretty sure that Geraint knows he's waiting.

"G?" Ben says, quietly.

Geraint starts, looking over for a split second, then away.

"G, you okay?" Ben leaves the doorway and walks toward him.

Geraint doesn't answer, just fumbles for his key.

"Geraint, please." Ben's voice has a twist of pleading in it and it embarrasses him.

Geraint turns, staring at the floor and not Ben. "I can't, Ben. Not right now."

"Can't what?" Ben asks, terrified of the answer for reasons he doesn't understand.

"Be … Be whatever it is you need." Geraint's comments are so shocking that Ben can't come up with anything to say before Geraint's locked himself back up in his room.

---

It takes far too long for Ben to work up the courage to knock on Geraint's door again and when he does, there's no answer. Of course there isn't. So he stops trying. Instead, he makes himself behave like an adult, even though he finds it almost impossibly hard. He wants to throw a tantrum, to act like a child, because he misses his best friend. They were supposed to have two of their four classes together, but now only Ben shows up for them.

He doesn't know how he's going to make it through the rest of the semester, much less the year, without Geraint. A week passes before he sees Geraint again. It's late, night time, and Ben's returning to the dorm from a late dinner with come of the guys he rides with. Geraint is leaving the dorm as Ben and Alex are in the midst of chaining up their bikes.

"Isn't that …" Alex starts, then trails off, causing Ben to look up.

He almost calls out, but at the last second he stops himself. Geraint glances over at them and for a split second they make eye contact. Then Geraint turns, walking away. Ben's gaze follows him until he disappears into the shadows. When he turns back, Alex is staring at him.

"What?" Ben snaps.

Alex shrugs, "Nothing. It's just …" He stops and sighs. "Lock your bike up or we're gonna miss that show of yours."

Ben glances at his watch and then finishes up with his bike. "It's called White Collar."

"I know." Alex replies, walking toward the door.

Ben frowns, but follows him. He stops, just before he walks into the building, and glances back in the direction that Geraint went. He stares, waiting a moment, almost as though he expected Geraint to come running back to him. No one appears and Ben turns back, walking inside and jogs up the stairs after Alex.

Wash, rinse and repeat, Ben thinks as he and Alex chain their bikes up for the fourth time that week. Eighth time if he counts last week as well, which he does. Soon it'll be too cold to ride, at least that'll be Alex's excuse. But Ben plans to keep riding until the ground's covered in snow. He won't quit, as long as locking his bike up at dusk means seeing Geraint.

He looks up when he hears the door open, but he already knows it's going to be Geraint. Just like every day he's locked his bike up this week, the same with the previous. All like that first time. They pass each other, going in opposite directions, and it takes all of Ben's will-power to keep from staring. And after each brief passing, he promises himself he'll confront Geraint. One of these days. Except they pass without any words exchanged between them.

They have fall break coming up soon. Ben closes his eyes, leaning on his bike. Last year and the one previous (their first), he and Geraint had gone to a cabin with their friends. But Ben's pretty sure it's not going to happen this year. Yeah, their friends will still go, but he won't. Not without Geraint and it's all but certain that Gerain't won't be there.

When he opens his eyes, Geraint's gone, as if he'd never been there in the first place. Ben sees Alex waiting. They don't speak as they walk inside.

Only two more weeks, Ben thinks. Two weeks until he can lock himself in his room, eat ramen and pretend his life doesn't suck.

---

It snows the first day of fall break. Odd, but not unusual, weather. Ben wraps up in blankets and spends the day in bed. He doesn't think about how he could've been up north with his friends. Getting drunk in front of a roaring fire. Playing games and staying up all night. He couldn't go, not without Geraint. It's ridiculous, in a way, but he ignores it because Geraint's his best friend. Was his best friend. And his friends let it go. They all know what it's like to be in mourning.

He watches old White Collar episodes on his laptop and wishes his life was different. That he was somewhere -- someone -- else. Instead of ramen, he orders pizza and tries to read a chapter for his astronomy class, one of the ones he should've had with Geraint. Instead, he lies in bed, trying to listen for signs of life in the building. He hears nothing; almost everyone's gone home or away. When he goes downstairs to get the pizza, the parking lot's mostly deserted.

He's eaten only a few slices of pizza before putting the rest in his small fridge. He shuts off the lights in his room, staring up at the stars that glow on the ceiling. He must've fallen asleep because the knock on the door -- his door -- startles him awake. He staggers to the door, groggy and confused. When he pulls it open, he's so surprised he can't speak.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" Geraint's voice sounds raw and in the light from the hall, he looks drawn and pale.

Ben doesn't know what to say, so he just steps numbly out of the way, reaching out and flipping the light on. The door swings shut as Geraint brushes past. Ben doesn't move from his spot by the door. All he can do is stare.

Geraint walks into the center of the Ben's room and stops. He turns, facing Ben. "I'm sorry." His voice is a whisper.

Ben blinks, "what?"

Geraint stares at the floor. "For everything."

Ben crosses his arms, pressing them against his chest. "You mean for ignoring, you know, your best friend?"

"I --" Geraint starts, but Ben cuts him off.

Now that the shock's worn off, the anger surfaces again. "I know, you're sorry. But that's just not good enough." The words fly out of him in a growl.

"Ben …" Geraint tries again, but stops himself.

"Are you really sorry or do you need something?" Ben can't keep the hurt out of his voice.

Geraint looks away and then back at Ben. "I want to apologize. To explain."

"What's to explain? You've obviously found better friends. "He glares hard at Geraint. "I'm surprised you're not with them now."

"Ben," Geraint says, voice soft., "it's not what you think."

"Then what's like, G? Because from where I stand, it seems all you want to do is hang out with those drama geek friends of yours."

Geraint visibly shudders, which confuses Ben, but he chooses to ignore it. At least for now.

"They aren't my friends."

Ben opens his mouth to retort, but Geraint holds up a hand and Ben says nothing.

"I … Ben, you won't believe me." Geraint finally says.

Ben rolls his eyes. "Try me."

Geraint signs and then looks hard at Ben. "Fuck it." He mutters and then looks straight at Ben when he speaks. "I'm a vampire."

Ben snorts. "You're right, I don't believe you."

Geraint's not laughing, he's not smiling and there's something almost chilling about the look on his face. Ben finds himself almost shuddering, no longer smiling.

"You're serious." He says, quietly.

Geraint nods and suddenly can't meet Ben's gaze.

"The fuck you are, G. This is ridiculous. If you don't want to be around me anymore, just tell me. You don't have to make up bullshit stories about being a fucking vampire." Ben's hands drift to his sides, fingers clenched into fists.

Geraint looks up. "I'm not. I mean, I'm not lying. I've missed you like crazy."

Ben shakes his head. "Bullshit, G. If you'd missed me, you'd've said something. Anything. Not waited until no one was around to talk to me."

"Ben. Fuck. I've wanted to talk to you, but I couldn't. You're always … You're always with other people." He finally says.

Ben digs his nails into the palm of his hand. "Those other people as you call them used to be your friends, too."

"I couldn't, Ben. They wouldn't let me."

Ben rolls his eyes. "Who? Your evil vampire leader?"

"Something like that." Geraint mutters.

"I don't believe you." He says again, fingers clenching and unclenching unconsciously.

Geraint chews on his bottom lip, lifting his gaze up to Ben's. "How can I make you?"

"There's no such thing as vampires."

"There is, Ben." Geraint's voice is wobbly, like he's trying not to get upset. Which Ben finds weird, because Geraint doesn't get upset. At least he didn't use to.

"Whatever it is they did to you, G, don't fucking take it out on me." He takes a breath and pushes past Geraint toward the window.

"I'll do anything, Ben. Just tell me what you want." Geraint's pleading, ignoring whatever else Ben might have to say.

"Fine, G. Fucking prove to me that you're a vampire -- something that doesn't exist." He turns away from the window and looks at Geraint, the boy who used to be his best friend. The boy he's still probably a lot in love with.

Faster than Ben can process, Geraint is there, pressing him up against the window. His hands are on Ben's shoulders, gripping tightly. Ben forces his eyes open and he sees Geraint, only he's not quite Geraint at all. He has fangs, Ben realizes. Fangs and he looks hungry or something and then as quick as Geraint was there, he's gone. Standing a few inches from Ben.

He's look at Ben as if to say, happy now? But he doesn't say anything. Ben doesn't know what to say. He shivers, suddenly cold and scared. The words are out before he can stop them.

"Get the fuck out of my room. Get away from me." He half-shouts them. And then Geraint is gone.

Ben crawls under his blankets, pressing his face against his pillow and he screams. He knows no one can hear and he's glad. For five seconds he had his best friend back, but then it turned out Geraint wasn't the same person, wouldn't ever be. And Ben doesn't know how to deal with this. He thinks maybe he should do research, but he doesn't care. It's not that he doesn't care that Geraint's apparently a vampire -- and that they're real. It's that he doesn't want to know. It's just that he wants Geraint back, the old Geraint.

He tosses and turns, unable to sleep. He gets out of bed and finds himself at the door before he realizes. He tries to make himself go back to bed, but he feels guilty. The pain in Geraint's eyes when Ben told him to leave was real. Ben knows what Greaint looks like when he's hurt and maybe he's a vampire, but Ben hates that he made Geraint hurt like that. He puts his hand on the door and pulls it open.

Their end of the hall is darker than normal and Ben looks up. One of the lights has burned out. He looks at Geraint's door and sees a light shining out from crack at the bottom of the door. He crosses the room and stands, hand hovered over the handle. He chews on his bottom lip, the same way Geraint did earlier. It makes his heart ache and then he drops his hand. He used to just twist the handle and walk in, but he can't, not anymore. A few breaths later and he starts to knock. The door opens before he's finished.

"I … I could smell you." Geraint says without greeting Ben.

There's something too weird about that for Ben to handle, so he doesn't think about it.

"G. G, I'm sorry." He half-whispers.

Geraint shakes his head, stepping out of the way and Ben walks slowly past him. "No. Really, no. It's my fault."

Ben turns, inches away from Geraint. "You're … I mean, you're not just fucking with me?"

Geraint shakes his head and Ben doesn't know exactly why he believes him, but he knows Geraint well enough to know that he's not doing this just to be an asshole. Geraint holds out his hand and for a moment Ben stares at him and then he reaches his own hand out.

"Please don't, I mean, just let me …" Geraint stumbles over the words, but Ben doesn't pull back. Geraint seems to take that as agreement and he gently lifts Ben's hand to his mouth. For a brief, flitting, moment, Ben thinks Geraint's going to bite him, but it passes. Instead, Geraint takes one of Ben's fingers and runs it along his teeth. Smooth, Ben thinks. Then he hears a soft, almost inaudible noise and then he feels a sharp point against his finger. He doesn't pull away, though maybe he should, instead he steps in closer.

Geraint's the one who pulls Ben's finger out of his mouth (only later will he realize that his finger was in Geraint's MOUTH and just how utterly hot it was). He doesn't say anything and neither does Ben. Instead he watches as the fangs retract back into Geraint's teeth.

"How?" Ben finally says.

Geraint shrugs. "I don't know." He steps away from Ben and sits on the edge of his bed.

Ben takes a short breath and then joins him. Their knees touch. "How long?"

"Couple of months." Geraint replies, studying his fingernails.

"How'd it …" Ben swallows, then starts again. "How'd it happen."

Geraint glances at Ben, then away. "We have … The theater department has a new part time teacher. Professor Wiggins. He, um." Geraint stops, trying to regain his composure or at least that's what it seems like to Ben. "He's a vampire. He started a club and said it was for extra credit, but he, was, um." Geraint stops, glancing over at Ben.

"Recruiting?" Ben suggests.

Geraint nods. "I didn't know until it was too late."

Ben holds Geraint gaze for a moment and then looks away. He wants to grab one of Geraint's hands, but doesn't. "G?"

Geraint looks at him again. "Yeah?" There's worry on his face.

"Does being a vampire mean, I … Do you get any cool super powers?" Ben finally asks.

Geraint suddenly laughs and he sounds exactly like old Geraint and it makes Ben's stomach twist. "Not really. I can't, you know, read minds or whatever. I can smell better." He says, with a blush, then goes on before Ben can comment on that. "And move faster. Hear a bit better, too. But that's it."

"What about all those myths? Stake to the heart, sunlight, and whatever." Ben desperately wants to twist his fingers around Geraint's, vampires be damned. God, he thinks, he's missed his best friend.

"Sunlight will kill us, but it takes a few hours. Stake to the heart, good as dead. But same with a sword or a bullet. Head or heart and we're done." Geraint says, quietly.

"I promise not to stake you." Ben says softly and it makes Geraint laugh, which is what Ben wanted.

Geraint shifts on the bed, fingers brushing Ben's thigh as he moves. "I missed you." He says, quietly.

"I am your best friend, after all." Ben says quietly.

Geraint nods and holds Ben's gaze. "Do you still have those stars on your ceiling?"

Ben blinks, surprised. "I do, yeah. Why?"

"I … It's been hard. I couldn't tell you. I'm not … I shouldn't've told you." Geraint says, looking away.

Ben reaches out, not stopping himself when he grabs one of Geraint's hands. "Why not?"

"Because I can't stay here." Geraint mumbles the sentence but Ben hears him clearly.

His heart seizes and he can hear it breaking. His hand goes lax on Geraint's and he can feel Geraint's hand over his. "You can't …" Ben manages to say but the words are a whisper.

"Can't go to classes." Geraint says.

Ben forces himself to look up. "G, I can't … I."

"I know." He replies and there's something in Geraint's face that makes Ben's stomach flip and he can't handle it.

He pulls away from Geraint and stands. "The stars'll be bright now, I left the light on."

Geraint nods, but says nothing. Instead, he stands and then they walk slowly across the hall. Ben turns his light off as Geraint shuts the door behind them. He sits on the edge of his bed, looking everywhere but up at the stars or at Geraint. He feels the bed dip as Geraint sits down next to him.

When Ben closes his eyes, he remembers when the put the stars up. They'd been laughing and singing loudly to some music that Geraint had downloaded on Ben's computer. It was their second year and Ben knew he'd get to keep this room for at least two, if not three of his four years. They'd left the lights on in Ben's room while they went to dinner and then when they came back, waited until it was almost midnight before shutting them off. The stars had glowed brightly that night, and ever since.

He feels Geraint lie down next to him and after a moment he feels Geraint's hand on his arm. He hesitates, just for a moment, then lowers himself onto his back. He can feel Geraint breathing next to him and turns his head.

"I thought vampires were the undead." He says, his voice loud in the stillness of his room.

Geraint shifts, his arm pressed against Ben's. "It's more … think of it as a disease. I never died or whatever and I need to breathe, but …"

"Like all diseases, you have symptoms." Ben says, almost wryly.

Geraint laughs and Ben can't help turning his head to look at him. He can't quite make out Geraint's features in the darkness, but he doesn't need to. Even though Geraint's turned into something Ben doesn't quite believe exists, he's still Geraint. Suddenly he feels Geraint watching him. He blushes, hoping that Geraint can't see in the dark, either.

They lay there for how long Ben doesn't know, but he doesn't care. His eyes slide shut and without meaning to, he drifts off to sleep. He doesn't wake up until he feels Geraint moving. He suddenly sits up, startled awake again. He glances at the window, but it's still mostly dark.

"G?" Ben whispers.

He feels Geraint shift and sit up. "Yeah?"

"You're still here." He says, stupidly.

"Yeah."

He feels Geraint's hand, reaching out and pressing against his chest. Geraint's thumb rubs against the spot where his heart is and he can feel his hear speed up. He suddenly wants to tell Geraint about the crush.

"G?" Ben says, then starts talking. "There's something I need to tell you. It's about … I mean, maybe it doesn't matter now because you're …" He can't say vampire, so he just goes on. "But, I've. I mean, everyone knows. It's not like I can keep it a secret but I've got a crush on you." He says, his face blushing furiously.

Silence and then he feels Geraint shift closer. "I … Ben."

Ben pulls away. "I know, you don't feel that way about me. But I couldn't … I mean, I might not see you again and I had to tell you. I'm sorry. I just … I'm sorry." He starts to slide off the bed when Geraint grabs his arm.

"Ben."

Ben struggles a bit, then stops.

"Ben. Ben. Why didn't you say something?" Geraint's voice is soft and his breath, which Ben thinks totally smells human, is hot against his face.

"Because you're straight." Ben breathes the words out.

Geraint's head is shaking and Ben is staring at him in the darkness. "Ben, fuck."

There's something in the tone of Geraint's voice that makes Ben shiver, but not the way he did earlier, when Geraint scared him. It's something else, something hotter and then he leans forward and kisses him. He feels Geraint freeze at the kiss and then return it, forcefully and rough.

Ben's fingers curl in Geraint's shirt and this is the moment he's been waiting for. He pushes Geraint onto his back, half crawling over him as they kiss. Geraint's hands against his back, fingers scraping down, tugging up his shirt. Ben runs his tongue along Geraint's lips, pushing it into his mouth, kissing him deeper. They twist against each other, around, until they pull apart, panting.

"I thought …" Ben whispers.

Geraint runs his fingers through Ben's short hair. "I know. I'm sorry, I … I didn't know that you --" He stops, ducking his head a bit.

Ben shifts, curling against him, twisting their fingers together. "I don't want you to leave." He whispers.

"I don't want to." Geraint replies. "I've … I wish you'd said something, before. I've …"

"Liked me?" Ben whispers, almost afraid of the answer in spite of their kissing.

"Yeah." Geraint's mouth against Ben's jaw, kissing toward his neck, then pulling back.

Ben swallows hard. "Please don't leave me."

"I …" Geraint stops.

"G." Ben whispers, pulling him closer.

"I can't stay here, I have to leave school." He mumbles and Ben can hear the strain in his voice.

Ben thinks hard, grinding his teeth a bit until he feels Geraint's mouth against his jaw again. "Can't you, I don't know, get an apartment or something, off campus?"

Geraint opens his mouth, then shuts it. "Huh."

"What?"

"I never thought … Do you really want me around? I mean, I'm … Not really human anymore." He starts to pull away from Ben.

"I never stopped wanting you." Ben whispers, tugging lightly at Geraint's shirt, pulling him back again.

Geraint sits up, pulling Ben up with him. "I have to go back to my room."

Ben nods, trying not to feel dejected. He shifts, pulling away and slides off the bed. Geraint does the same and then reaches out, twisting his fingers in Ben's.

"Stay with me?" He says, softly.

Ben looks surprised. "What?"

"My room is, it's blacked out, or whatever. Side effect of the vampire crap. We get really tired during the day." Geraint looks at his hands, but Ben's already moving.

He's changing into his pajamas and grabbing a book and his room key. "Let's go."

Geraint looks up, surprised, but smiles and says nothing. They walk across the hall in silence. Ben makes sure his room is locked and then crawls into bed with Geraint. They kiss, a little bit, but not much and then he curls up in Geraint's arms. It's almost as good as he'd dreamed, or maybe even better. He drifts off to sleep, finally relaxing after so many months.

---

Fall break ends far too soon and Ben has to reluctantly return to his own room, though he spends more time in Geraint's. They work out excuses, why Geraint's not in class, why he's so pale. It turns out that the disease part of the whole vampire thing seems to stave off a lot of questions. At least no one seems to think it's seriously contagious. Ben doesn't know what he'd do if he couldn't see Geraint anymore. He does his homework in Geraint's room, while Geraint is sleeping. Sometimes they do eat together, but Ben learns quickly that Geraint can't eat much normal food anymore and can't spend more than an hour, or two if they're lucky, outside. And he definitely can't go out when it's sunny.

At least it's winter, Ben thinks, and there's more darkness than daylight and that means they can go to the movies or walk around outside, and be boyfriends, which is what Ben thinks they are, but hasn't asked yet. He's afraid of the talk they'll have to have. Because Geraint still hasn't figured out if he can stay nearby. Ben can't leave school, he's on scholarship and he likes the cycling team, plus he's only got one year left. But if Geraint asked, he'd quit immediately.

They almost make it to Christmas break without an incident. It's the week of finals, and Ben's completed his only test (the rest being essays, fucking lit majors as Alex likes to say) and was curled up on Geraint's bed, reading and drinking a mug of tea while Geraint looked for apartments. They hadn't talked about it, but they didn't need to. Geraint knew what Ben wanted and, much to Ben's surprised, it ended up being the same as what Geraint wanted. And then the knock on the door came.

Ben glanced at his watch and then Geraint. A moment passed, then two, and then Geraint's face went paler than Ben thought was possible. He set his mug of tea on Geraint's desk.

"What's wrong?" He whispered, though he didn't know why.

The knocking on the door started again, making them both jump.

"I think it's … Ben, whatever you do, stay behind me." Geraint's voice was like steel and all Ben could do was nod. He watched Geraint slide out of his chair, almost silently and walk to the door.

Ben wrapped his arms around his knees, watching and waiting. He felt scared, but he didn't know why. When the door opened, though, he understood. The person standing outside was the drama professor, Wiggins, if Ben recalled correctly. There's something in his gaze that just doesn't seem right to Ben, but he doesn't say anything, he barely even breathes. He can tell just from the way Geraint's shoulders are bunched up in the back that something's wrong. But even if he wasn't looking at Geraint, he'd know from the tension that's suddenly filled the room.

"Mr. Thomas." Wiggins voice is like ice.

Ben watches as Geraint forces himself to meet Wiggins' gaze.

"Mr. Thomas, we've noticed your absence the past few weeks." He stares Geraint down, waiting for something.

"I've been busy, sir." Ben's never heard Geraint's voice sound so … small.

Wiggins shakes his head. "That's no excuse. You know what you're supposed to be doing. And the consequences of inaction." There's a not so veiled threat in those words and Ben can't take it any longer.

He unfolds from the bed and stands. "G, everything all right?"

Wiggins seems to see him for the first time, he peers around Geraint, who steps back, toward Ben.

"And who is this …" Wiggins stops and mouths the word human at Geraint.

Ben's surprised to see Geraint flinch and wonders if maybe he should be more afraid than he is. But he pushes that thought away. "Is this one of your new friends, G? Man, you're awfully pale. You ought to get a little sun." He says before he can stop himself. He's rewarded with a twitch of a smile from Geraint and a pinched look on Wiggins' face.

"Human," Wiggins begins and both Ben and Geraint take an involuntary step back. "Perhaps you ought to ask Mr. Thomas how, or should I say who, he's been feeding on."

Ben notices that Wiggins stands outside the door frame, in the hall, and he briefly wonders if it's true that vampires can't come into a room without being invited. He makes a note to ask Geraint about that when they've all finished whatever this bullshit is.

Geraint surges forward and Ben springs into action, grabbing the back of Geraint's shirt. "Stop, G. Please." He half-shouts.

Wiggins laughs. "Listen to your pet, Mr. Thomas. We wouldn't want something to happen to him."

Geraint does stop, but there's something hard on his face. It makes Ben want to let go and flee, but he doesn't. He just curls his fingers tighter in Geraint's shirt, pulling him back, almost gently.

"You need to come back, Mr. Thomas. Your transition is not complete." Wiggins replies and then glances at Ben again. "If you do not return, we have ways of making you."

The ice in Wiggins' voice seems to send daggers into Ben and he finds he can't help shuddering. He watches as Wiggins turns and literally sweeps down the hall, leaving them both practically trembling in his wake.

"G?" Ben asks.

Geraint turns, his face pained like the first time he showed up at Ben's door. "Yeah?"

"Is it true that vampires need to be invited in?"

Whatever Geraint was expecting, Ben thinks, he question wasn't in. He almost smiles, but then he nods.

"Then how'd he get into the dorm?" Ben lets go of Geraint's shirt.

Geraint crosses to the door and locks it, then turns back to Ben. "Dorms are like public buildings. If you have a right to be there, and as an employee of the school Professor Wiggins does, then you're allowed in. But apparently it doesn't extend to dorm rooms, thank god."

Ben nods, taking a few steps closer and then throws his arms around Geraint's neck. He feels Geraint's arms around him, pulling him in. He presses his face against Geraint's shoulder and tries ignore the heavy question between them.

"Ben, I thought you were going to ask …" Geraint trails off.

Ben doesn't pull back and when he answers, his voice is muffled by Geraint's shirt. "About how you eat?"

Geraint nods without saying a word.

"Are you going to, er, suck my blood?" He asks, pulling back a little bit.

Geraint's fingers clench almost nervously but he doesn't push Ben away. "I … I could, I suppose."

"Won't that turn me or whatever?" Ben asks, shifting until he can slide his hands into Geraint's.

"No. It's … Professor Wiggins infects people with a prick of a needle full of the venom found in the blood of vampires. It's not … We're not snakes, you know? There's no injection of venom or whatever in our teeth. You have … Professor Wiggins said that some people enjoy infecting people the old fashion way." Geraint stops, tugging Ben toward the bed.

They sit side by side, Ben's hand in Geraint's. "Old fashioned? But I thought you said biting didn't work."

"It doesn't, I mean not like in the movies. No biting and instant vampire. You have to drink a lot of your, um, victim's blood and then there's this --" He stops, turning away from Ben. "It's kind of like a ritual. It's not magic or whatever, but you have to cut yourself and mix your blood with the victim's and make them drink it."

Ben arches an eyebrow when Geraint turns back toward him. "That sounds awfully complicated for, you know, a vampire."

Geraint smiles again. "It is. That's why Professor Wiggins uses the needles. Quick, easy, and almost painless." He winces as he speaks the last few words.

Ben lifts up a hand and presses it against Geraint's face. "It was an accident, right?"

Geraint nods, holding Ben's gaze. "I didn't know what was going on until it was too late."

Ben leans forward, kissing Geraint gently. He feels Geraint's hands against the back of his neck and crawls on top of him, straddling his lap. They kiss, harder and faster. Ben can feel Geraint hard against his thigh and knows he's just as hard.

"G?" He asks, breathless and his mouth against Geraint's ear.

"Yeah?"

"If you come, you're not going to, like, turn into a demon spawn or something. You know, like Angel on Buffy."

Geraint's shaking so much that Ben has to pull back, only to realize he's laughing. "Everything you know about vampires you learned from the tv?" He asks.

Ben can't help laughing as well. "Sorry, G." He mumbles, blushing.

Geraint shakes his head and takes Ben's face in his hands. "If we have sex, I won't vamp out on you. Though I hear that sex with a vampire is suppose to the best kind you can have."

"You're just saying that." Ben mumbles, blushing deeply.

Geraint shakes his head again. "Something about the biting."

Ben freezes for just a moment and the smiles slides off of Geraint's face.

"Shit, Ben. Shit, I'm sorry." He starts to push Ben off, trying to get away, but Ben won't let him.

"G, stop. Seriously." He mumbles and starts kissing him again, hard and rough. He grinds his hips down against Geraint's.

"You want …" Geraint asks, breathless.

Ben nods. "I do, yeah." He says and thinks that hey, it's worth the risk to get what you really want. Especially when what he really wants seems to want him back.

Geraint kisses him again, fiercely this time. He arches up a little, meeting Ben's hips with his own. Ben tugs at Geraint's shirt and soon they're both half naked. They kiss harder as Ben pushes Geraint onto his back. He tries to slide out of his jeans, but finds it complicated until Geraint slides his hands along Ben's hips, pushing them down. And then Ben's on his back, Geraint above him. There's a hungry look in his eyes and it turns Ben on more than he can explain. He arches up, grabbing at Geraint, pulling him down closer.

Ben feels Geraint hard against him and then shoves Geraint's pants down, boxers following until their clothes mix together at the foot of the bed. He thinks, we need a condom or something but he can't clear his head enough to focus, much less speak. He shifts, arching up until he's kissing Geraint hard. Their cocks rub against each other and Jesus, Ben thinks. He's been wanting this to happen for fucking ever and now it is and he doesn't know how long he can last.

"Ben, fuck." Geraint's breathing his name out, panting hard. He pulls back, fumbling in the drawer of his nightstand and he pulls out a condom.

Ben nods, watching as Geraint slides it onto his cock. He reaches out, curling his fingers around Geraint's cock as he leans back looking for something else. He strokes Geraint a few times, almost experimentally, grinning when he makes Geraint shudder a little. Then he turns back toward Ben, holding lotion. Ben nods, because yes, yes he wants this so much he can almost taste it.

"Have you, before?" Geraint asks.

"Once." He mumbles and it was a mess, but he knows what it feels like and he's not really scared. At least not much. "But he was human." He teases and then Geraint slides a finger in and Ben's moaning.

Geraint grins. "I'm gonna be better."

"Not hard." Ben whimpers the words out, shuddering.

Geraint twists his finger, then adds another, they glide in and out of Ben and he's biting his bottom lip to keep from crying out a little.

"Fuck, G." Ben whimpers and he's kind of close, much to his chagrin.

"Wait for me, baby." Geraint whispers, which just makes Ben's cock twitch more.

And then Geraint's crawling between his legs, lifting Ben's ass up a bit more until his cock's pressed against it. He thrusts, pushing into Ben, slow and then thrusting into him. Faster and Ben's moaning a little, his head tipping back. Geraint thrusts a little harder now and Ben's reaching blindly for him, wanting to feel him, to touch him and taste him. Geraint leans in, his mouth capturing Ben's in a hard kiss. Ben's moaning, breathing roughly into Geraint's mouth and he's shuddering, his cock rubbing against Geraint's stomach.

Geraint's mouth against his, then along his jaw, toward his neck before settling on his shoulder. Ben's breath is coming in gasps and then Geraint's fingers slip around his cock, stroking him roughly. He's so close it hurts. His hands slide down Geraint's back, nails scrapping along his skin. He squeezes around Geraint, making him gasp and thrust faster. Then he feels Geraint's teeth against his shoulder, almost gentle at first and then just as Ben comes Geraint's teeth, fangs Ben thinks, dig into his shoulder. Ben moans, then cries out, as he comes. He feels Geraint tense, then come hard, buried deep inside him.

For a moment they both lay there, without moving and then Geraint pulls back, sliding out at the same time. "Shit, Ben. Shit, I'm sorry."

Ben sits up, fingers feeling his shoulder. There are two small puncture marks, but no blood. "For?"

He points to Ben's shoulder, but Ben just laughs.

"It's fine. Um. It's actually great." He mumbles, reaching out for Geraint, trying to pull him close.

"Promise?" Geraint replies, tugging the condom off and throwing it in the trash before crawling back to Ben.

"Yeah, promise."

Geraint shifts and slips his arms around Ben.

"You like to cuddle after sex?" Ben teases, tugging the sheet over him.

"Apparently." Geraint replies. He presses his tongue against the bite marks in Ben's shoulder, making him shiver.

"Do you really need blood to survive?" Ben asks after a long silence.

Geraint doesn't answer right away and Ben turns to make sure that he's still awake. He holds Ben's gaze before finally answering. "I do, yeah."

"Anyone's?" Ben asks, quietly.

Geraint nods.

"What your professor said, to ask you about how you got your food …" Ben asks, almost shyly.

Geraint gnaws on his bottom lip for a moment before replying. "A blood bank. You can buy the stuff online, too. It's not like I have to go out and bite people, but that's what he wanted you to think."

"Do you have … do you have blood here?" Ben asks.

Geraint nods. "Not, not much. I'll need more."

"Would mine work?" Ben asks before he can talk himself out of this.

Geraint pulls back. "Wait, what? No, Ben. God, don't be like that."

"Like what? I mean, if you had to." Ben tries to convey that he's serious.

"It could, yeah. But. sometimes it's hard to stop, if you need to." He says quietly.

Ben shifts closer, not wanting to let on that he's maybe a little scared. "I'd let you."

"Fuck, Ben." Geraint whispers, pressing his mouth against the top of Ben's head.

He kisses Geraint's chest. "G, I'd let you do almost anything."

"I know, baby." He whispers, making Ben shudder against him, half-turned on again.

They don't say anything after that. Ben glances at the clock and notices it's almost morning. He shifts, pulling Geraint closer and decides to let himself go to sleep. He'll think about the consequences of all of this later -- the sex, his offer to Geraint. He thinks, in a half-asleep stupor, that he'd do anything for Geraint. And then he wonders, just as he's falling asleep, when he want from having a crush to being in love.

---

It takes him until the end of the week of exams to work up the courage to as Geraint the other question that's been bothering him. They've had sex a few more times, sometimes he'll top and sometimes Geraint will and every time, it's been fucking brilliant. Or at least that's how Ben feels about it. He's never been happier, but some of Professor Wiggins' words are echoing around in his head if he keeps still for too long.

He and Geraint are outside, walking through the moonlit campus. It's not quite 11 pm, but it feels like they're alone in the world. There's a light dusting of snow on the ground, but the skies are clear. Ben's got his arm looped through Geraint's and he suddenly wishes they lived in a world without computers and internet, without mobile phones and GPS. He wants to run away, to hide from everyone and keep Geraint safe. He thinks he could do it, he desperately wants to. Because now that he finally has Geraint to himself, he never wants to let him go. He rests his head against Geraint's shoulder as they walk in silence. Eventually they reach the far end of the campus. Away from the theater building they avoid, away from the crowds gathered for the end of the semester holiday parties. They went, the previous year, but neither of them want to be around other people.

"Ben?" Geraint asks, breaking the silence.

Ben lifts his head as they stop walking. They're on a bridge that connects the campus with a small park owned by the city. The've stopped in the middle, staring out over the mostly frozen stream.

"Yeah?" He asks, leaning against Geraint.

He feels Geraint's head move. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." It's mostly true.

"Ben."

Ben turns, glancing at Geraint. "What?"

"I know something's bothering you." Geraint says softly.

Ben tightens his grip on Geraint's arm, not quite clinging to him, but clutching all the same. "It's … It's stupid."

Geraint says nothing, so Ben continues.

"It's something your professor said, that night." He swallows and then goes on. "He mentioned a transition and … and having ways of making you do what they want."

Geraint looks away for a moment, at something Ben can't see in the darkness and then back at Ben. "Professor Wiggins recruits people." He pauses and then shakes his head. "That's, no. That's not right. He claims to recruit people but he tricks them into become vampires. He promises all sorts of things or he gets them drunk at a cast party and then suddenly, bam, needle in your arm."

Ben shifts until he's facing Geraint, wrapping his arms around his waist. Even through the layers of their winter coats, he can feel how tense Geraint is. He doesn't say anything, though, even if he knew what to say.

Geraint doesn't seem to mind as he goes on talking. "Not everyone … Some people don't survive the change, others go crazy. I was lucky, I guess. I didn't fight it." He looks ashamed and Ben leans in, pressing his mouth against Geraint's.

"I. G, I still have you. I don't care what you are." He whispers.

Geraint kisses him back. "I know. It means everything to me." The words are pressed against Ben's mouth as they kiss again, then Geraint pulls back.

"Why is he recruiting people?" Ben finally asks.

Geraint shakes his head. "I don't know. I thought it was an army, but as far as I can tell there's no war between vampires and humans."

"What about um, werewolves or something?" Ben asks, a bit abashedly.

Geraint doesn't smile, but he pulls Ben closer. "I don't know if they're real, but I haven't … You know, sometimes while you were in class or asleep, I'd do research. I think … I think that Professor Wiggins is trying to build an army to fight other vampires. There's this high council thing, like in the fucking movies, you know?"

Ben nods because it's the only thing he can think of doing.

"And apparently there are tribes or whatever of vampires across the world. And each of the continents has it's own representative at the council and then each representative has a committee made of up vampires from it's member countries and I think that Professor Wiggins wants to take over the North American council." It comes out in a rush and Ben has a brief moment of wondering if his life just turned into some sort of B movie.

"And he's using college kids to fight his wars for him." Ben says slowly.

Geraint nods.

"Is there any way you can get away?"

"I don't know," Geraint says after a long silence.

Ben rests his head against Geraint's shoulder again, listening for the heartbeat that isn't there. Even though Geraint's not really dead, he's not really alive, either.

"We could run away." Ben finally says, without lifting his head.

"To where?" Geraint says, but Ben can detect hope in his voice.

Ben sighs and pulls back. "Finland." He replies without hesitation.

Geraint raises his eyebrows at Ben.

"There's a university in Finland." He pauses, and then plows on. "They spent a lot of time in darkness. And then we could go somewhere else, in the summer. Where it's darker. Or we could …" He trails off when he notices that Geraint's staring at him.

"Are you serious?" Geraint asks softly.

Ben nods. "I don't want to lose you." He mumbles.

Geraint seems overcome with some sort of emotion that Ben can't figure out. He pulls away, letting Geraint have room. But Geraint won't let him and instead pulls him closer.

"You want me, even though I'm like this? Even though I need blood to survive?" Ben nods and Geraint goes on. "You'd quit school and move across the world for me?" Ben nods again.

"G, all you have to do is ask." Ben whispers.

For a moment Ben thinks that Geraint's going to ask and then they hear a sound and somehow, Ben knows they're not alone.

"Well, isn't this touching." An all too familiar and chilling voice says.

Ben turns around and finds himself almost face to face with Professor Wiggins. He has a few other people, vampires Ben corrects silently, with him.

Geraint stiffens, slipping in front of Ben, blocking him from Professor Wiggin's path. "What is it you want, Professor."

"You, and perhaps your lovely human as well."

Geraint shakes his head. "I don't want to be part of your war."

Professor Wiggins laughs and it's a disgusting sound. Ben curls the fingers of one hand around Geraint's waist, as if that could save them both.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Thomas, but that's not an option at this time." He takes a step closer, but Geraint doesn't move.

Geraint swallows hard and Ben wishes he was a braver sort of boy, but he's not. Especially not with the four vampires backing Professor Wiggins up.

"And why not?" Geraint seems to gather himself together for this reply.

Professor Wiggins blinks. "I thought it was obvious. We need you."

"You don't." Geraint says.

Professor Wiggins shakes his head. "Don't believe everything you read on the internet. If I want to take down that wretched Armstrong and his tribe, I'll need all the help I can get."

"Maybe I don't care, maybe I don't want to help you." Geraint's voice is thin and even.

One of the men behind Professor Wiggins speaks softly to his boss, but both Ben and Geraint can hear, though Ben doesn't know if they're supposed to be able to.

"Sir, you should just let us kill him. He'll never agree to help now." The man hisses.

Professor Wiggins turns away from them to answer and Ben thinks they should run, but knows that they probably wouldn't make it that far.

"Mr. Cavendish, how many times have I told you to keep your mouth shut." He growls.

"But sir …" The man, Cavendish, protests.

Professor Wiggins ignores him and turns back. "It seems that Mr. Cavendish, while speaking out of turn, does have a point. Had you continued your sessions with us, perhaps we could've changed your mind. But it seems we'll have to do things a slightly different way."

Before either Geraint or Ben can react, one of the vampires, not Cavendish, but another, wrenches Ben's arms behind his back. Cavendish and the other man have Geraint pressed against the railing of the bridge.

"G …" Ben says, straining against the vampire's grip to no avail.

Geraint gives him a look that's filled with love, with everything Ben's ever needed from him. He nods and stops struggling.

"Don't hurt him." Geraint says loudly as Professor Wiggins and the fourth vampire approach him.

Ben makes a strangled noise but doesn't say anything.

"If you don't come back to the fold, Mr. Thomas, your little human won't live to see the morning." His words stab at Ben, but Ben stands still, refusing to show his fear. Instead, he holds Geraint's gaze as best he can. He tries to show Geraint how much he loves him, how he'd do anything -- absolutely anything -- for him.

"Never." Geraint replies, lips in a thin line of anger.

Professor Wiggins laughs, the noise punctuating the evening like gunshots. "Ah, young love. I could let you go and you'd live out your live with this lover boy of yours. But what would happen when he grows old and you don't age? You'd be so lonely. All alone, Mr. Thomas. I will save you from that fate."

"He doesn't want to help you!" Ben screams the words out, startling everyone, including Geraint.

The vampire holding Ben tightens his grip as Professor Wiggins turns his attention to Ben. "Hold him tight, Mr. Eisel. I see the only way we're going to convince Mr. Thomas is to do something drastic. And I seem to recall bringing the kit with us."

He holds his hand out and the fourth vampire appears at his side with what looks like an old fashioned doctor's bag. "Thank you, Mr. Renshaw. You can return to the compound now."

"But, sir …" Mr. Renshaw starts to protests, but a glare from Professor Wiggins shuts him right up. The vampire starts to run, disappearing almost immediately into the darkness.

Professor Wiggins digs into his bag and pulls out a syringe and a long knife. "I think we're going to do this the hard way. I believe that Mr. Thomas has properly filled you in on this method."

Ben gasps, his knees feeling weak. He tries to keep his head up, to catch Geraint's gaze, but he can't. Instead he can see the rage and hatred on Geraint's face. He's scared, suddenly. He's not sure what of, the look on Geraint's face or the almost certain fate that's awaiting him.

"This syringe," Professor Wiggins says, walking toward Geraint, "is potent enough to subdue even the strongest vampire. But with a properly measured dosage," he continues, tapping the syringe before walking closer and pushing up one of Geraint's sleeves, "it will render a vampire easy to control."

It all happens so fast that for a moment Ben doesn't understand what's going on. The first thing he hears is a roar, then yelling. A second passes and then he realizes he's free, his arms no longer held behind him. The yelling gets louder and that's when he looks over at Geraint. He's fighting the three vampires while Professor Wiggins lies on the ground, not moving. It takes Ben another second to see the syringe sticking out of Professor Wiggins' eye and a third to see the knife, a few inches from where he's standing.

Ben stops thinking and he grabs it. One of the vampires sees the movement and lunges at him. Ben doesn't really know what he's doing, but he remembers that the heart and the head are important and he swings the knife. He feels a spray of blood as the knife slices clean through the head of the vampire, who's name he hadn't heard. He glances over at Geraint and see him fighting Cavendish and Eisel, who was holding Ben back. He takes a quick breath and then charges, knife in front of him. He doesn't do much damage, but distracts them enough that in a few quick moves, they're both down.

It's suddenly quiet, like it had been before Professor Wiggins interrupted their daydreaming. Ben looks at his hands, his jacket and then up at Geraint. They're both covered in blood and then Ben realizes that Geraint's sagging a bit. He looks down at Geraint's chest and sees that his jacket is hanging open and there are deep scratches on his chest. They're bleeding a lot and suddenly Ben is more scared than when the fighting was going on. The knife clatters to the ground, landing in a pool of blood and Ben rushes over to Geraint.

"G! Oh my god, G. Are you all right? You're bleeding everywhere, we have to stop this." He's babbling and Geraint's just looking at him, almost glassy-eyed.

"Are you hurt, Ben? He didn't hurt you, did he?" He pauses and before Ben can answer, he goes on. "I didn't hurt you, did I? Ben, Ben."

Ben's shaking his head furiously, wrapping an arm around Geraint and trying to stanch the flow of blood from his chest. "G, I'm fine. I'm really fine. Please, just tell me what to do. I can't lose you."

Geraint sounds faint, as if he's fading and Ben's heart is breaking. He didn't think this could happen. He thought vampires were mostly invincible. They couldn't bleed to fucking death, could they?

"G, tell me what to do." He begs.

He's dragged Geraint over to a bench, setting him down on the snow-covered seat. "I need … You need to go back to my room, I need blood."

"I won't make it in time! I'm not that fast." Ben says, thinking frantically, then he looks down at himself. He pulls his coat off, letting it fall to the ground and starts pushing up the sleeves of his hoodie. "Take mine, G."

Geraint pushes Ben away when he approaches, but Ben won't give up.

"Please, G. I don't want you to die." He whispers and he doesn't realize he's crying until he feels Geraint's fingers against his cheeks.

"What if I can't stop?" Geraint asks, his voice soft.

Ben wipes his eyes with the back of his hand, then thrusts his arm toward Geraint. "You can. G, you can. I trust you."

He holds Geraint's gaze for a moment and then Geraint glances down at his arm. There's a pause and then he watches, almost in slow motion, as Geraint leans forward. At first it doesn't hurt, then there's the soft noise of teeth until his skin and then it feels like his arm is on fire. And then, suddenly, it stops hurting. He curls his fingers tightly in Geraint's hair, mostly to hold himself up. He can feel the blood leaving him and he wills himself not to care. It's Geraint. He'd die if Geraint asked him to. And then he feels himself start to sway, dizzy and lightheaded and then everything's darkness.

---

When Ben wakes up, he feels like he's been hit by a train. Everything hurts and the light's hurting his eyes. He rubs them and tries to sit up, but he can't move. He tries to look around, but he can't keep his eyes open. He feels the … bed, maybe, shift when someone moves. And then, above him, he sees Geraint.

"You're awake." There's relief on his face.

Ben has to swallow a few times before he can speak. "What … What happened?"

"I almost killed you." Geraint's voice is a whisper.

Ben feels a tiny bit stronger and he reaches out, finding Geraint's hand and squeezes it. "But you didn't."

Geraint shakes his head. "I stopped, right before you passed out." There's so much guilt in his voice that it makes Ben's heart ache.

"But I'm going to be okay?" He asks.

Geraint nods and Ben sits all the way up. They're in his dorm room. He glances around and notices that his things are half-packed.

Geraint seems to notice his gaze. "I'm leaving school and I'm …" He stops.

"Taking me with you?" Ben finishes and Geraint nods. Ben can't help grinning. "Finland?"

Geraint shakes his head. "I was contacted by the North American vampire people, you know that Armstrong guy? They offered us protection or whatever from Wiggins when he recovers, if he recovers." Geraint stops.

"But?" Ben prompts.

Geraint shifts, pulling Ben into his arms. Ben settles against him, head pressed against Geraint's shoulder. "But I said we wanted nothing to do with them."

Ben arches an eyebrow. "What'd they say?"

"They wanted to know where we wanted to go."

"And you didn't suggest Finland?" Ben pretends to be hurt, but he's not.

"What do you know about Vancouver?" Geraint asks with a shy smile.

Ben can't help grinning. "Maybe I can finish up school and start writing novels."

Geraint smiles again, properly. He leans in, kissing Ben squarely on the mouth. "What kind of novels?" He asks.

"Oh, you know. Vampire romances." Ben says, managing to keep a straight face.

Geraint just stares at him.

"What? I don't have to do any research!" He says and then Geraint starts laughing. Ben looks around the room, thinks about his bike, chained up in a storage room down in the basement of his dorm. As long as his parents know he's okay, he doesn't really care where he goes. The important thing is that he has Geraint.

"You know that I love you, right?" Geraint says, interrupting his thoughts.

Ben nods, leaning in and kissing him hard. "And I love you." He whispers, then adds with a smile. “Even if you are a vampire.”

Geraint laughs and kisses him back again, crawling on top of him. Ben thinks he’ll be able to face anything, as long as Geraint’s there with him. Vancouver might not be Finland, but it has Geraint and that’s all that matters. And maybe those vampire romances, too.