FIC: "Not thinking about you," Part 5/5 (Amita/David, David/OMC, NC-17)
Last part. I think that I've decided that I love it, no matter what anybody says. :)
Enjoy...
Al comments are welcome. ;)
* * *
Title: "Not thinking about you" - Part 5/5
Characters/pairings: David/OMC, David/Amita, mention of Charlie/Colby, mention of OMC-Daniel, mention of OMC-Patrick Garner.
Genre: Het/Slash
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Non-con (or dubcon, whatever this is), insane behavior.
Summary: Amita crosses the line with David.
A/N: This happens during chapter 16, 17 and 18 of The Connections Series (those are already posted). There's references to my fic " I'll show you what's smooth".
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Numb3rs except my OMCs.
Betas: Thanks a lot to toomuchfandom, who added a few fantastic lines which helped to explain Amita's insanity. She said that she didn't need the credit, but she definitely deserves it. :)
* * *
Go to "Not thinking about you," Part 4/5 (PG-13)
* * *
“NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU” - Part 5/5
Hearing David’s story and how much he had suffered because of his old friend Daniel had broken Amita’s heart. So I’m the bad one here. I’m the one who doesn’t understand. I’m like David’s parents who judged him and made him cry all those nights. I’m doing that to Charlie and Colby…But wasn’t it freedom of speech and thought that could allow her to hate the idea of Charlie loving another?
She started to cry because she felt guilty. She heard David’s voice asking her “Are you ok? Do you want me to get you some more water?” and she felt his hand on her shoulder.
“No, no. I’m fine,” Amita had to say, because she didn’t want to lose all control. Crying in front of David was enough already.
“Just as fine as you told everyone outside Charlie’s house today?”
Feeling overwhelmed by having to answer to the same question over and over, Amita took a breath. “Yeah… kind of,” she said although she hated it that everybody felt sorry for her. She wanted to forget about what happened as soon as possible, as to stop and think about her feelings right now, might cause her to do some seriously bodily harm to someone and David was the closest someone at the moment. However, David was just trying to be a good friend, and she had brought him with her to her apartment, so she couldn’t reject his help now. In fact, she still was curious about a lot of things. “But I still don’t get it. You liked Daniel so much, and he didn’t feel the same. He made you feel like crap and you never said anything to him. You just let it go.”
“I was eighteen. I didn’t know to handle that yet. And life took us separate ways, so I didn’t have the chance to talk to him afterwards.”
“Mmm.” Amita was not satisfied with David’s response. That’s not an answer. I need you to explain everything to me. Every single feeling. “But you kept being into men. You never became completely straight, even if Daniel hurt you that much.”
“I don’t know… I guess that to some extent I’m still trying to change the past when it’s not possible. I think Megan said something about it when we had a case. She said that there are lots of underlying meanings to everything we do, especially when our actions are related to experiences from the past,” David muttered, shaking his head.
So I’ll never be able to get over this. I’ll never be able to leave this whole mess behind. And I thought I had enough with Patrick. “I see… So that means that I’ll always remember Charlie in everything I do, even if I don’t notice it. That’s such good news.” Amita’s voice was darker than before. I’m the bad one, and I get to suffer forever because of it. She started to cry again because she felt that there was no hope for her. She would have to carry her wounds for the rest of her life, knowing that she had been replaced by Colby. She wasn’t as stupid to think that it would have been otherwise. Every memory, every feeling she had ever had, had been with her all of her life. Sometimes she even learned from it, but sometimes she wished it’d all just go away. Maybe in time that rotten feeling of betrayal, being replaced by a man and being tortured and abused by another might go away.
What does Colby have that I don’t? Why does Charlie prefer him over me? He doesn’t even know him that well. They’re just members of the same team. What could they have in common? Amita couldn’t find a reason that satisfied her frustration and that made her feel that it all made sense at least a little bit. Love and lust worked in mysterious ways. Which was why she ended up with Patrick, and then with Charlie, and Charlie now with Colby.
Instinctively, she curled against David’s body, and he gently put his arms around her. What they did at Charlie’s house was just lust. And even if Charlie is into Colby in some sick way, it could be temporary… “You pretended that those women you were with were actually Daniel, didn’t you?” she asked David.
It took him some seconds to answer to that. “Yeah, sometimes, I guess.”
Maybe… just maybe…
“For example, could you pretend that I’m him?”
If I’d treated you the way a man would, would that be enough for you? Would that make you love me and stop thinking about the guy you want? Could Charlie do the same, so we could get together again…?
“What?” David muttered, his eyes wide open, his mouth curved, all of it forming an expression of perplexity.
“Please, David. I need… I need to feel that it’s possible for me to get Charlie to like me. I don’t care if he thinks of Colby when he kisses me or makes love to me, as long as he doesn’t leave me for him. I couldn’t take it.” It could be possible for him to have me anyway, couldn’t it?
“But you and Charlie broke up a few days ago.”
“Maybe I still have a chance with him. Maybe I could convince him to…”
“Ok, I think you should juggle that thought around in your head, and if you still decide that you want another chance with him, and then you should talk about it with Charlie, because I’m certainly not the best person to tell those things to.”
You offered me your help and I accepted it. Now that’s suddenly wrong? There’re things you don’t want me to talk about? Or are there things that you simply don’t have an answer to because you’re not as smart as you look? Or are you afraid that I might hurt you? Amita was deeply confused. She had trusted David, brought him home and told him about what she had been thinking since she had discovered that Charlie was into Colby. “I told you about my fears, I shared my feelings with you. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Yes, but I meant to help you, not to offer you get you into some kind of sick lie that doesn’t make any sense,” David stated.
“It makes sense to me!” Desperate, Amita squeezed David’s shoulders using all the force she had. “It is what I need. I need to feel that someone will have me, even if I’m not the one they want. That’s the only hope I have for getting Charlie back.”
Who on earth would want someone who had made the worst boyfriend choices? Who on earth would want someone who had been left for another guy? Those questions made her realize she was probably never going to be loved by anyone again.
Amita could see that David had started to panic. “You’re not ok, Amita. Please, let me go, I don’t want to hurt you.”
If you don’t want to hurt me… if you really want to help me… you’ll do as I say. “Then you’ll have me, just to prove that I still can get Charlie back with me.”
“No. Why are you acting like this? Patrick Garner has messed up with your head…”
For gods’ sake, forget about Patrick Garner, I know I want to)! This is worse than being tortured by him! I’m not even wanted as a woman. I’m not wanted by anyone! Am I really that ugly? Doesn’t David just want to have sex? She was about to lose control and she knew it, but she didn’t really care, because David’s words made her even angrier. “Leave Patrick out of this! He was the biggest mistake of my life, ok? He was an insane man that tortured me for days, who was obsessed enough with me to kidnap me and hurt me in front of everyone, and you know what? He never raped me!”
“And that’s bad how?”
“Don’t you see it, David? He was a masochist, but he didn’t love me enough to take me when he had complete control over me! Not even a lunatic wanted me!”
“What you’re saying is crazy. Look, I won’t say anything to anyone about it, but could you please calm down?”
No, no, no. I’m not supposed to take this calmly. No one could, after all that I’ve been through. I’m the horrible person who doesn’t understand gay people, but I still have feelings. I can’t be discarded just because of my gender. I won’t be.
“Stop telling me to calm down!” She took David’s gun and said, “Stop. Telling me. To calm. Down. Hands up.”
Very slowly, David lifted his hands. He seemed about to pass out. “You have never fired a gun.”
“But I’ve seen you all use it.” Fine, I don’t know much about guns. But Charlie used one to try to save Colby, didn’t he? He didn’t want to get me safe, oh no. He never reacted until Colby was in danger. He would have let Patrick kill me, he wouldn’t have lifted a finger to help me. Amita deactivated the safety device and held the barrel of the gun over David’s forehead. She knew that she was trembling, but she also knew that she couldn’t stand the situation anymore.
“Amita, please, stop. I’m sure you’ll regret this later...” David tried to say, but Amita held the gun more firmly.
“I won’t, trust me,” Amita assured him. She was crying so much, she was so fragile, and yet she was perfectly able to force David to do anything she wanted at the moment. “Open your pants.” If he wasn’t going to do this voluntarily, then he would do it by force. She needed to feel loved by at least someone.
“What? No.”
“Do it!” She squeezed the trigger a bit, and she saw a line of sweat starting to take form on David’s forehead. She stared at it while he steadily started to open his fly. “You’ll take me. You’ll take me and you’ll enjoy it, even if all you do is thinking about Daniel.”
“Amita… please…” David asked her for the tenth time.
“Put your hands on your head, c’mon,” she ordered. David did so, and then he tried to grab Amita’s hands to make her drop the gun. But just when he was about to succeed, she pulled the trigger and shot a lamp that was behind him.
“Damn it!” David yelled, and sweat started to run down his face. He held his hands up, shaking from head to feet. Then Amita knew that after showing him that she could use a gun properly, he would not dare to try to stop her again. Again, she put the barrel of the gun against David’s head.
She unbuttoned his pants herself and she slipped her hand inside his boxers. David jumped in his place and whimpered when she started to stroke him very roughly so he got hard. “Is this what you like about being with a man, David? Tell me, please, if this is feels so different than being with a woman, who could do it to you just the way you want…” She had absolute control of the situation, she was still crying. Amita felt her face burn and her lips were swollen. And she knew that she wanted to feel more. It was like her body and her mind were switching into overdrive, and it was a rush, plus it felt so good. Now she knew exactly what Patrick might have felt when he was forcing her to do things, torturing her… But she only wanted sex from David and honestly didn’t want to hurt him.
“Stand still or I’ll put the next bullet into your head,” Amita said to David. Then she unbuttoned her jeans and rolled them down her legs. Then she did the same with her panties, and she threw both the jeans and the underwear to the floor.
“What the hell are you doing?!” David was freaking out, his eyes were wide open and he was frozen.
“Getting hope back…!”
Amita held the gun to David’s crotch and forcing him so stand still, she released his cock. “I spent two years waiting for Charlie to chase me. And just when I thought that I had the one, just when I was starting to be sure that I didn’t want to be with anyone else, he does this to me!” She guided David’s cock inside her and then started to move. It was painful because of the lack of lube, but she didn't really care, in fact she enjoyed that it hurt.
Her heart was breaking and she was now holding the gun to David’s head. Amita cried and made little noises while she was moving up and down David’s cock. She could hear him breathe hard beneath her. She couldn’t believe that he wasn’t enjoying this. He just wasn’t! See? I’m not even worth it; he doesn’t even want a quick fuck. Either I’m really taking this too far, or he thinks I’m ugly. She knew she was going too far, but it still felt too good to let it go.
“Moan,” she begged David, and when he didn’t please her, she put her hand in his neck and moved her face close to his ear. “Moan, like I was Daniel… Think about him while we’re together… It doesn’t matter, as long as you take me…” She pressed the barrel of the gun hard against David’s neck, and he started to moan, just like Amita had told him to. “Yes, that’s it. That’s it, David, c’mon,” she cried, and she kissed his lips leaving them bruised. “Now scream my name while you think of him. Scream my name, please!”
And David did. After a few more of Amita’s hard moves, he came inside her screaming her name. Amita smiled, still crying, and she collapsed on top of him, letting the gun fall from her hands.
It had all happened so fast. David immediately took the gun and separated from Amita. Very quickly, he stood up, lifted his pants and buttoned them. Then he stared at the twisted woman who had forced him to have sick sex with her. “You… you…” His voice was broken, meaning that he couldn’t find any word to describe how terrified and worried he was.
“That’s what I wanted, David… That’s what I wanted,” Amita muttered, not letting him see her face. She was slumped against the couch, her hair in a mess sprawled over it. She felt so embarrassed. There was no control. She had made a huge mistake.
And yet, Amita knew that she hadn’t really found what she wanted. David had pleased her and screamed her name because she had forced him to do it by using a gun, not because he liked her. Now she would have to deal with the consequences, and try to survive knowing that Charlie would never be with her as long as he was interested in Colby.
She started to cry very softly, and heard the door of the apartment be opened and closed. When Amita turned her head, David wasn’t there anymore. She was alone again, and she couldn’t stand the pain.
The place was empty and there was no point to stay. It was probable that David would accuse her of rape after getting himself together. He would surely come back to claim his vengeance.
Given the circumstances, Amita had to react fast. The thought of everyone finding out what she had done made her panic when she realized of how horrible it had been. In a few minutes, she cleaned herself, organized her stuff, took her luggage and left the apartment.
On her way to the airport, Amita started to worry. She asked the cab she had taken to stop in front of a drugstore and she bought some morning after pills because David and she hadn’t used a condom. When she got to the airport, she bought a bottle of water and swallowed the pills properly.
She bought a ticket for the next fight and then she sat on a chair. There was one thought inside her head that didn’t want to leave. What have I done? How could I?
* * *
David got out of Amita’s apartment and ran to the elevator. There, he rested his back against the wall and waited. How did this happen? How?
Getting out of the building was very hard for David. He felt dizzy and terrified because of Amita’s behavior. But he felt also guilty. I was thinking about Daniel while I fucked her. That’s just… sick.
There was something that David couldn’t deny. In some way, he had enjoyed the rough, non-consensual sex he had had with Amita because she had forced him to think about Daniel. It was wrong, obviously; but he hadn’t held himself back, and even if he had fought against the desire to let go, he simply had surrender to Amita’s orders. A forceful Amita had been a turn-on somehow.
He spent an hour thinking about that in a park. There were no reasons for him to get into such a fucked up situation. But he had done it because the Charlie and Colby conflict had made him start losing his self-control as well as his perspective on things. This was probably the worst mistake of my life. I won’t see Daniel again. Why did I need to find satisfaction in that way?
Suddenly, he remembered that he hadn’t used any protection. There might be consequences if he didn’t act fast. Amita didn’t seem to be very aware of anything when David had left the apartment, so he couldn’t count on her to do what was needed in this kind of cases.
He went back to Amita’s apartment and knocked on her door. While he waited, he found one of the old ladies who lived next door and asked them for her. The woman told David that she had seen Amita leave in a cab with luggage a few minutes ago. The lady also asked him if he had heard a noise that seemed to be a shot an hour ago.
“No… I didn’t hear anything,” David responded, and she left the woman behind him. He took his car, which was still parked at Amita’s building, and drove to the airport. But he couldn’t find Amita. He looked everywhere, but her plane had already left.
In fact, when he looked through one of the giant airport windows he saw a plane rise into the sky.
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The end of "Not thinking about you"
Enjoy...
Al comments are welcome. ;)
* * *
Title: "Not thinking about you" - Part 5/5
Characters/pairings: David/OMC, David/Amita, mention of Charlie/Colby, mention of OMC-Daniel, mention of OMC-Patrick Garner.
Genre: Het/Slash
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Non-con (or dubcon, whatever this is), insane behavior.
Summary: Amita crosses the line with David.
A/N: This happens during chapter 16, 17 and 18 of The Connections Series (those are already posted). There's references to my fic " I'll show you what's smooth".
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Numb3rs except my OMCs.
Betas: Thanks a lot to toomuchfandom, who added a few fantastic lines which helped to explain Amita's insanity. She said that she didn't need the credit, but she definitely deserves it. :)
* * *
Go to "Not thinking about you," Part 4/5 (PG-13)
* * *
“NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU” - Part 5/5
Hearing David’s story and how much he had suffered because of his old friend Daniel had broken Amita’s heart. So I’m the bad one here. I’m the one who doesn’t understand. I’m like David’s parents who judged him and made him cry all those nights. I’m doing that to Charlie and Colby…But wasn’t it freedom of speech and thought that could allow her to hate the idea of Charlie loving another?
She started to cry because she felt guilty. She heard David’s voice asking her “Are you ok? Do you want me to get you some more water?” and she felt his hand on her shoulder.
“No, no. I’m fine,” Amita had to say, because she didn’t want to lose all control. Crying in front of David was enough already.
“Just as fine as you told everyone outside Charlie’s house today?”
Feeling overwhelmed by having to answer to the same question over and over, Amita took a breath. “Yeah… kind of,” she said although she hated it that everybody felt sorry for her. She wanted to forget about what happened as soon as possible, as to stop and think about her feelings right now, might cause her to do some seriously bodily harm to someone and David was the closest someone at the moment. However, David was just trying to be a good friend, and she had brought him with her to her apartment, so she couldn’t reject his help now. In fact, she still was curious about a lot of things. “But I still don’t get it. You liked Daniel so much, and he didn’t feel the same. He made you feel like crap and you never said anything to him. You just let it go.”
“I was eighteen. I didn’t know to handle that yet. And life took us separate ways, so I didn’t have the chance to talk to him afterwards.”
“Mmm.” Amita was not satisfied with David’s response. That’s not an answer. I need you to explain everything to me. Every single feeling. “But you kept being into men. You never became completely straight, even if Daniel hurt you that much.”
“I don’t know… I guess that to some extent I’m still trying to change the past when it’s not possible. I think Megan said something about it when we had a case. She said that there are lots of underlying meanings to everything we do, especially when our actions are related to experiences from the past,” David muttered, shaking his head.
So I’ll never be able to get over this. I’ll never be able to leave this whole mess behind. And I thought I had enough with Patrick. “I see… So that means that I’ll always remember Charlie in everything I do, even if I don’t notice it. That’s such good news.” Amita’s voice was darker than before. I’m the bad one, and I get to suffer forever because of it. She started to cry again because she felt that there was no hope for her. She would have to carry her wounds for the rest of her life, knowing that she had been replaced by Colby. She wasn’t as stupid to think that it would have been otherwise. Every memory, every feeling she had ever had, had been with her all of her life. Sometimes she even learned from it, but sometimes she wished it’d all just go away. Maybe in time that rotten feeling of betrayal, being replaced by a man and being tortured and abused by another might go away.
What does Colby have that I don’t? Why does Charlie prefer him over me? He doesn’t even know him that well. They’re just members of the same team. What could they have in common? Amita couldn’t find a reason that satisfied her frustration and that made her feel that it all made sense at least a little bit. Love and lust worked in mysterious ways. Which was why she ended up with Patrick, and then with Charlie, and Charlie now with Colby.
Instinctively, she curled against David’s body, and he gently put his arms around her. What they did at Charlie’s house was just lust. And even if Charlie is into Colby in some sick way, it could be temporary… “You pretended that those women you were with were actually Daniel, didn’t you?” she asked David.
It took him some seconds to answer to that. “Yeah, sometimes, I guess.”
Maybe… just maybe…
“For example, could you pretend that I’m him?”
If I’d treated you the way a man would, would that be enough for you? Would that make you love me and stop thinking about the guy you want? Could Charlie do the same, so we could get together again…?
“What?” David muttered, his eyes wide open, his mouth curved, all of it forming an expression of perplexity.
“Please, David. I need… I need to feel that it’s possible for me to get Charlie to like me. I don’t care if he thinks of Colby when he kisses me or makes love to me, as long as he doesn’t leave me for him. I couldn’t take it.” It could be possible for him to have me anyway, couldn’t it?
“But you and Charlie broke up a few days ago.”
“Maybe I still have a chance with him. Maybe I could convince him to…”
“Ok, I think you should juggle that thought around in your head, and if you still decide that you want another chance with him, and then you should talk about it with Charlie, because I’m certainly not the best person to tell those things to.”
You offered me your help and I accepted it. Now that’s suddenly wrong? There’re things you don’t want me to talk about? Or are there things that you simply don’t have an answer to because you’re not as smart as you look? Or are you afraid that I might hurt you? Amita was deeply confused. She had trusted David, brought him home and told him about what she had been thinking since she had discovered that Charlie was into Colby. “I told you about my fears, I shared my feelings with you. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Yes, but I meant to help you, not to offer you get you into some kind of sick lie that doesn’t make any sense,” David stated.
“It makes sense to me!” Desperate, Amita squeezed David’s shoulders using all the force she had. “It is what I need. I need to feel that someone will have me, even if I’m not the one they want. That’s the only hope I have for getting Charlie back.”
Who on earth would want someone who had made the worst boyfriend choices? Who on earth would want someone who had been left for another guy? Those questions made her realize she was probably never going to be loved by anyone again.
Amita could see that David had started to panic. “You’re not ok, Amita. Please, let me go, I don’t want to hurt you.”
If you don’t want to hurt me… if you really want to help me… you’ll do as I say. “Then you’ll have me, just to prove that I still can get Charlie back with me.”
“No. Why are you acting like this? Patrick Garner has messed up with your head…”
For gods’ sake, forget about Patrick Garner, I know I want to)! This is worse than being tortured by him! I’m not even wanted as a woman. I’m not wanted by anyone! Am I really that ugly? Doesn’t David just want to have sex? She was about to lose control and she knew it, but she didn’t really care, because David’s words made her even angrier. “Leave Patrick out of this! He was the biggest mistake of my life, ok? He was an insane man that tortured me for days, who was obsessed enough with me to kidnap me and hurt me in front of everyone, and you know what? He never raped me!”
“And that’s bad how?”
“Don’t you see it, David? He was a masochist, but he didn’t love me enough to take me when he had complete control over me! Not even a lunatic wanted me!”
“What you’re saying is crazy. Look, I won’t say anything to anyone about it, but could you please calm down?”
No, no, no. I’m not supposed to take this calmly. No one could, after all that I’ve been through. I’m the horrible person who doesn’t understand gay people, but I still have feelings. I can’t be discarded just because of my gender. I won’t be.
“Stop telling me to calm down!” She took David’s gun and said, “Stop. Telling me. To calm. Down. Hands up.”
Very slowly, David lifted his hands. He seemed about to pass out. “You have never fired a gun.”
“But I’ve seen you all use it.” Fine, I don’t know much about guns. But Charlie used one to try to save Colby, didn’t he? He didn’t want to get me safe, oh no. He never reacted until Colby was in danger. He would have let Patrick kill me, he wouldn’t have lifted a finger to help me. Amita deactivated the safety device and held the barrel of the gun over David’s forehead. She knew that she was trembling, but she also knew that she couldn’t stand the situation anymore.
“Amita, please, stop. I’m sure you’ll regret this later...” David tried to say, but Amita held the gun more firmly.
“I won’t, trust me,” Amita assured him. She was crying so much, she was so fragile, and yet she was perfectly able to force David to do anything she wanted at the moment. “Open your pants.” If he wasn’t going to do this voluntarily, then he would do it by force. She needed to feel loved by at least someone.
“What? No.”
“Do it!” She squeezed the trigger a bit, and she saw a line of sweat starting to take form on David’s forehead. She stared at it while he steadily started to open his fly. “You’ll take me. You’ll take me and you’ll enjoy it, even if all you do is thinking about Daniel.”
“Amita… please…” David asked her for the tenth time.
“Put your hands on your head, c’mon,” she ordered. David did so, and then he tried to grab Amita’s hands to make her drop the gun. But just when he was about to succeed, she pulled the trigger and shot a lamp that was behind him.
“Damn it!” David yelled, and sweat started to run down his face. He held his hands up, shaking from head to feet. Then Amita knew that after showing him that she could use a gun properly, he would not dare to try to stop her again. Again, she put the barrel of the gun against David’s head.
She unbuttoned his pants herself and she slipped her hand inside his boxers. David jumped in his place and whimpered when she started to stroke him very roughly so he got hard. “Is this what you like about being with a man, David? Tell me, please, if this is feels so different than being with a woman, who could do it to you just the way you want…” She had absolute control of the situation, she was still crying. Amita felt her face burn and her lips were swollen. And she knew that she wanted to feel more. It was like her body and her mind were switching into overdrive, and it was a rush, plus it felt so good. Now she knew exactly what Patrick might have felt when he was forcing her to do things, torturing her… But she only wanted sex from David and honestly didn’t want to hurt him.
“Stand still or I’ll put the next bullet into your head,” Amita said to David. Then she unbuttoned her jeans and rolled them down her legs. Then she did the same with her panties, and she threw both the jeans and the underwear to the floor.
“What the hell are you doing?!” David was freaking out, his eyes were wide open and he was frozen.
“Getting hope back…!”
Amita held the gun to David’s crotch and forcing him so stand still, she released his cock. “I spent two years waiting for Charlie to chase me. And just when I thought that I had the one, just when I was starting to be sure that I didn’t want to be with anyone else, he does this to me!” She guided David’s cock inside her and then started to move. It was painful because of the lack of lube, but she didn't really care, in fact she enjoyed that it hurt.
Her heart was breaking and she was now holding the gun to David’s head. Amita cried and made little noises while she was moving up and down David’s cock. She could hear him breathe hard beneath her. She couldn’t believe that he wasn’t enjoying this. He just wasn’t! See? I’m not even worth it; he doesn’t even want a quick fuck. Either I’m really taking this too far, or he thinks I’m ugly. She knew she was going too far, but it still felt too good to let it go.
“Moan,” she begged David, and when he didn’t please her, she put her hand in his neck and moved her face close to his ear. “Moan, like I was Daniel… Think about him while we’re together… It doesn’t matter, as long as you take me…” She pressed the barrel of the gun hard against David’s neck, and he started to moan, just like Amita had told him to. “Yes, that’s it. That’s it, David, c’mon,” she cried, and she kissed his lips leaving them bruised. “Now scream my name while you think of him. Scream my name, please!”
And David did. After a few more of Amita’s hard moves, he came inside her screaming her name. Amita smiled, still crying, and she collapsed on top of him, letting the gun fall from her hands.
It had all happened so fast. David immediately took the gun and separated from Amita. Very quickly, he stood up, lifted his pants and buttoned them. Then he stared at the twisted woman who had forced him to have sick sex with her. “You… you…” His voice was broken, meaning that he couldn’t find any word to describe how terrified and worried he was.
“That’s what I wanted, David… That’s what I wanted,” Amita muttered, not letting him see her face. She was slumped against the couch, her hair in a mess sprawled over it. She felt so embarrassed. There was no control. She had made a huge mistake.
And yet, Amita knew that she hadn’t really found what she wanted. David had pleased her and screamed her name because she had forced him to do it by using a gun, not because he liked her. Now she would have to deal with the consequences, and try to survive knowing that Charlie would never be with her as long as he was interested in Colby.
She started to cry very softly, and heard the door of the apartment be opened and closed. When Amita turned her head, David wasn’t there anymore. She was alone again, and she couldn’t stand the pain.
The place was empty and there was no point to stay. It was probable that David would accuse her of rape after getting himself together. He would surely come back to claim his vengeance.
Given the circumstances, Amita had to react fast. The thought of everyone finding out what she had done made her panic when she realized of how horrible it had been. In a few minutes, she cleaned herself, organized her stuff, took her luggage and left the apartment.
On her way to the airport, Amita started to worry. She asked the cab she had taken to stop in front of a drugstore and she bought some morning after pills because David and she hadn’t used a condom. When she got to the airport, she bought a bottle of water and swallowed the pills properly.
She bought a ticket for the next fight and then she sat on a chair. There was one thought inside her head that didn’t want to leave. What have I done? How could I?
* * *
David got out of Amita’s apartment and ran to the elevator. There, he rested his back against the wall and waited. How did this happen? How?
Getting out of the building was very hard for David. He felt dizzy and terrified because of Amita’s behavior. But he felt also guilty. I was thinking about Daniel while I fucked her. That’s just… sick.
There was something that David couldn’t deny. In some way, he had enjoyed the rough, non-consensual sex he had had with Amita because she had forced him to think about Daniel. It was wrong, obviously; but he hadn’t held himself back, and even if he had fought against the desire to let go, he simply had surrender to Amita’s orders. A forceful Amita had been a turn-on somehow.
He spent an hour thinking about that in a park. There were no reasons for him to get into such a fucked up situation. But he had done it because the Charlie and Colby conflict had made him start losing his self-control as well as his perspective on things. This was probably the worst mistake of my life. I won’t see Daniel again. Why did I need to find satisfaction in that way?
Suddenly, he remembered that he hadn’t used any protection. There might be consequences if he didn’t act fast. Amita didn’t seem to be very aware of anything when David had left the apartment, so he couldn’t count on her to do what was needed in this kind of cases.
He went back to Amita’s apartment and knocked on her door. While he waited, he found one of the old ladies who lived next door and asked them for her. The woman told David that she had seen Amita leave in a cab with luggage a few minutes ago. The lady also asked him if he had heard a noise that seemed to be a shot an hour ago.
“No… I didn’t hear anything,” David responded, and she left the woman behind him. He took his car, which was still parked at Amita’s building, and drove to the airport. But he couldn’t find Amita. He looked everywhere, but her plane had already left.
In fact, when he looked through one of the giant airport windows he saw a plane rise into the sky.
* * *
The end of "Not thinking about you"