(Untitled)

[anewlingo]

Who: Selphie and Squall
What: Taking a walk and probably some moping :/
When: After this.
Where: Around... outside!
Rating: PG... ish? Maybe?

Comments

[hadtoleave]

The desire to snap at her grew with every passing second, doubling after she mentioned Rinoa.

Squall knew Laguna had been happy to spend time with him but they'd never- There was always some awkwardness just underneath the surface. Seeing him was always some sort of struggle and Squall was sure Laguna had to know that. That must have made it uncomfortable for Laguna every time.

It hadn't been too dissimilar with Rinoa. What had made it so damn hard with her was that there was always an undercurrent of ease. She had cared about him, no questions asked, even when they fought. Even after returning his ring.

"But-"

Squall clenched his jaw against the rest, hoping Selphie wouldn't press.

-I want them here. I… I guess I miss them. I'd… really miss you. Seifer. Ellone. It doesn't matter where I am; it's the same. I forgot almost everyone and that's like losing someone, too. It's the worst thing. I'm…

He stopped walking again and exhaled heavily. …What am I supposed to do? "Sorry," he said. He didn't know if he was

[anewlingo]

"It's okay," she said, and meant it. She wasn't mad at him for holding back or for forgetting her (though a part of her was still bothered by it, but that was nearly a year ago). "I just wanna make sure you're... er, okay. Or at least, stop you from bottling everything up."

But she herself wasn't being completely honest. The truth was, the way people would just randomly disappear scared her more than she would ever let show. She was afraid of Seifer and Squall disappearing, of course--the former had somehow become a good friend, and the latter had somehow become her closest friend. They made all of the madness in Paradisa bearable, and she did her best to make sure they didn't go nuts because of it, either.

"This place doesn't make anything easy, huh?"

[hadtoleave]

Squall took his hands out of his pockets and crossed his arms over his chest. He studied Selphie and decided to take her statements at face value. Analyzing them, constantly worrying she was only trying to find an angle on him… that wasn't fair. Nor did it help anything.

"No," he agreed. Except it isn't supposed to be easy. If it was then we wouldn't go back.

Though he never felt the same way on that issue from day to day, he knew that if they had the chance to do so, they'd take it. However, he also knew that if he had to leave her or Seifer behind, he probably wouldn't. SeeD was his duty, yes, and he was still loyal. But Ultimecia was no longer a threat and…

Now he had a different sort of loyalty, too.

Squall shifted his weight to one leg and cleared his throat. "Are-" He frowned. "How-"

That wasn't right either. Finally, he asked roughly, "You okay?"

It still sucked, but…

[anewlingo]

Going back was something Selphie didn't want to think about. No matter where she was, she lost. She lost her friends by coming to Paradisa, and were she to go back, she'd lose them again. This whole situation should have never existed: Squall should have never forgotten them, people from other worlds shouldn't have been able to interact, her own memories shouldn't have been messed with. But she had become comfortable after so many months in one place.

She knew she would miss it.

"I'm okay," she replied easily, though there was a very slight lump in her throat she pushed down with a cough. "Just... kinda... blah. I'm going to need a new jogging partner in the mornings!" She giggled nervously, knowing very well that should probably be the least of her concerns. She sighed. "Laaame."

[hadtoleave]

Squall briefly closed his eyes and turned his head away, suppressing a sigh. He'd almost wanted to offer to… go with her. That was stupid. Besides

[anewlingo]

"Yeah," she admitted, "But still..." It would be weird without Laguna.

Selphie went rigid when Squall grabbed her wrist and closed in. Her skin went pale, and for a moment she thought she was done for. He had grown tired of her constant pestering and had finally snapped! (Though this was far more silent than she always imagined Squall's cracking to be). She looked up at him with a mixed expression of fear and surprise, trying to kick her brain into motion so that she could pull away or something.

"W-what'd I do? I d--"

Then, it occurred to her what he was trying to do, and the surprise was left to stand alone on her face. "Oh! ... a hug?"

[hadtoleave]

Well, it wasn't quite what he expected, but it was close enough. Though it was also annoying and he felt himself begin to lose his patience.

"Shut up," he said irritably. "Yes."

It felt weird and almost kind of wrong. He was uncomfortable and didn't want to force anything on her. But-

"It's what you want," he said. "Wanted. Right?"

He let go of her wrist and straightened, forcing himself not to cross his arms, his face carefully impassive. Every time I act the way they want me to, they look at me like I've lost my mind. Maybe I have. But it's not bad to do this, not now… I don't get it. He waited, wondering if she was going to laugh it off. If not…

[anewlingo]

"... aww~" Selphie giggled, covering her cheeks with her hands. That was so nice of him to do! ... which may have been an indication of how sad the whole situation was. "Wooow, you made me blush!"

Shrugging, Selphie went ahead and tightly hugged Squall--it was the thought that counted, and she was very touched that he was willing to suffer the offering of a hug.

"I'm really sorry everyone keeps disappearing." What else was there to say? She could tell him again that she wasn't planning on going anywhere, but that wasn't her choice. If Paradisa wanted to get rid of her, it would. But she tried to remain optimistic: she had been in Paradisa for so long it seemed like she wasn't ever gong to leave. Which was an odd form of optimism, but it made her feel better.

[hadtoleave]

What? Squall stared at her with something akin to horror. I didn't! He ducked his head a little, trying to see if she was pulling his leg or-

Oh. He blinked and, though he didn't tense, stood still for a minute. Well. He'd achieved his goal. Rolling his eyes, Squall loosely wrapped his arms across her back and returned the hug. The weird feeling intensified but he didn't pull away.

"Mm," he sounded noncommittally. Yeah… So am I…

It wasn't so bad. It beat only hugging to make up after fighting. He took in a deep breath, only realizing after the fact she'd be able to tell, and hugged her a little harder. He also realized it had kind of hurt that the first response she'd had to his offer was trepidation. Not that he could blame her, but still. And, okay, maybe somewhere inside he'd kind of almost sort of wanted a hug. Possibly.

…Promises don't mean anything here because we have so little goddamn control over our lives. But… then… you have to work with what you do have. And… so, I guess…"Far as I'm concerned, you're

[anewlingo]

Squall's expression got a grin out of Selphie. Hugging Squall was weird. She almost expected him to freak out at any moment, as if he didn't realize what he was doing. This also seemed like an honest hug... unlike the last one which had scared the chocobos out of Selphie.

"There's worse!" Selphie began, but then was quiet. She raised an eyebrow.

"Hmm... uhhh... Ultimecia, I guess..."

That was when she let go and took a step back, just in case, still grinning.