Fuck this, fuck it all, fuck everything. I'm just so fucking pissed off and now it's just such a fucking effort for so little because I'm SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT ARGH. I need to kill something.

Fuck it all. Probably not going anywhere on Thursday. My cat's injured again, as well, so it's fortunate that I'll have money for that instead of wasting it having fun in Europe.

Really, though, I have to stop myself from crying every twenty minutes.

I am cautiously optimistic about the federal budget, well mostly just the $2billion nod to mental health :3

Nursing my bitterness with cigarettes and bite-sized Twix bars. I envision a swirling glass of brandy in front of a roaring fire but settle for ice water under the air conditioner - the future can wait.

I have decided, 2011 is the year I am devoting as little energy to men as possible. And blooming.

Don't cut don't cut don't cutI will be ok until Friday. I will pour it out to the psych. I will possibly cry. He will be concerned. He will fiddle with my medication and arrange group therapy and give me breathing exercises. He will leave me with a pat on the head and a script for pseudosanity ( Read more... )

Lately I've been worrying.
That my worrying about getting depressed each summer is why I keep getting so depressed each summer.

I feel like I'm unravelling, like a cheap toy that's coming to pieces.

18 days 'til I see the psych again. Just hold steady girl.

Arrrrrgh I hate my job I hate my job. Three & a half more reports to type up from tapes (each one taking about four hours) and then I am d-d-d-done and will quit. And then have two weeks to find a less pressuring job before I run out of money ( Read more... )

Thoughts on Wintergirls so far:
- Good, I like the twisted runaway descriptions and craziness she manages to inject.
- The snippets from forums pisses me off. But those fora piss me off and I want to destroy them all sooo too bad.
- Lia likes Neil Gaiman and Tamora Pierce - good lass :D

I'm sick of my body always being tired &/ sore &/ ill ( Read more... )

I'm a slice of bread short of a sandwich.