... nicole broke up with dan a couple days ago... I just got home from cuddling with her and her falling asleep on me for the past couple hours... ... ... ... life is good...

ish...

well monumentally better...

I'm out.. I don't want to jinx it...

-ffej

today is definitely going to be long... I hurt all over... I'm not exactly sure why... but it hurts to move.. meh... not the first time prolly not the last time...

call me if you need me.. laters...

-ffej

this entry may anger you... or surprise you... or not affect you whatsoever... but I'm going to write this for me... because it's something I have to believe... no one is ever alone... well... physically maybe... but not spiritually... believe me when I say this... anyone reading these words... I care about... you are in my thoughts... and in my ( Read more... )

there's a lot of times I find myself breaking down... I feel it welling up inside me... everything crumbling before me... but somehow... I pull it together... I'm not saying everyone can do this... but... for me... it's my will... I refuse to be broken... I refuse to fall... I refuse to stay down... I remember what I stand for... and what I want ( Read more... )

I hate being me... I really honestly do... I have my moments where I think things will go my way but they don't... that god fellow everyone seems to enjoy keeps throwing shit at me... why the fuck would I praise his name when he hasn't given me anything but shit... he has some damn "divine plan" for everyone but apparently my plan is to eat shit ( Read more... )

omg...

tonight ruled...

I will only give this one detail...

"OH FUCK IT'S THE COPS!"

that is all...

-ffej

I almost got thrown out today and all my things burned or sold...

that is all...

-ffej

I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up... she toys with me... she knows we both want the same thing... yet she wont commit... I can't wait forever... I refuse to... and my decision will come soon... I know that everyone will be unhappy with it... but... I cannot sacrifice indefinitely... even I have my limits... there's an end to my ( Read more... )

my room is all weird... it's... different... and new... good times though... I have the week off and such... call me if you'd like... I'm free after like wednesday... I like showing off my room...

-ffej

life seems to have it's quirks... people going nuts.. people grasping at straws... and major denial.. point is... I don't let it get to me... or at least I try... even with craziness with a taken girl... I just hope to come out ok... life sends it's curve balls.. try to take them in stride... noting is going to go the way you imagine it... you'd be ( Read more... )