'Say Hello Before You Say Goodbye'
So superlurk said "His coat, although very fine, is secondhand, something that eats away at the remnants of his former self. His hands are a little chapped, it's cold, and he's so fucking tired..." about yesterday's hooker!Draco art. And it got me thinking, then writing
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Comments 73
i liked the idea that harry killing voldemort destroys all magic. it's an interesting, if depressing, take on the war.
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The loss of magic crept into the story without me realising it at first, so I didn't actually explain how or why. But I could see there being such an almighty use of magic that the whole wizarding world overloads and burns itself out. And then you have an entire group of people who are lost in a world they no longer understand.
Thanks for reading, and for commenting - it's much appreciated.
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there being such an almighty use of magic that the whole wizarding world overloads and burns itself out. And then you have an entire group of people who are lost in a world they no longer understand.
i find that incredibly sad, and yet i'd love to read a fic about this. most of the fics that feature harry and draco living in the muggle world are based on both of them having made a choice (even if under duress) to leave magic behind. but what if there never was a choice? i wonder how everyone would cope. certainly there would be a shift in "class" relations, as the muggle-born wizards would suddenly be the ones who hold the most power, and those who'd been most deeply entrenched in the wizarding world would suffer the most.
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certainly there would be a shift in "class" relations, as the muggle-born wizards would suddenly be the ones who hold the most power, and those who'd been most deeply entrenched in the wizarding world would suffer the most.
Exactly! Suddenly Hermione and Arthur Weasley would be founts of knowledge, and people whose wealth and abilities were all tied up in magic would be left almost helpless.
And just imagine what the reaction would be to Harry, if he were the one to cause it. How do you treat a hero who has saved the world, but simultaneously taken away everything that's familiar to you about that world?
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Draco's frustration at cursing to no visible effect struck a chord with my own anger management issues. :)
I'm absolutely IN LOVE with your passage concerning Harry and Draco meeting again. The way you describe Harry's suit, the twist of sharp realization that it is not only Draco who has lost his magic, the adult-ness implicit in Harry's baritone voice, and the practically all-encompassing rage Draco feels in response to the well-intentioned apology. Because by this point, I've realized that Harry is, however inadvertently, responsible for Draco being out on this street corner.
He did it for the heat, the burn of feeling something.That makes sense, ( ... )
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I do seem to need nudging or some sort of prompt to get me writing these days. And I love it when a comment likes yours gets my brain ticking. So I'm absolutely thrilled that you enjoyed it, even though there couldn't really be a happy ending.
I also really, really appreciate your detailed feedback - it's so good to see what works for others, what impression or feeling a story leaves.
Because by this point, I've realized that Harry is, however inadvertently, responsible for Draco being out on this street corner.
That's the whole mess really. Harry saved things, but ruined lives simultaneously. So on top of all the churned up feelings Draco had for Harry at school, he has this to deal with. And it's just too much. I think it would be too much for anyone, even if the rest of their life was OK, but in the state he's in it's impossible. He's still proud. (Now I've made myself want to read or write some really schmoopy cuddle fic for the poor lad! *g*)
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I've always found the idea that magic might be destroyed to vanquish Voldemort an interesting one, but I'd never really thought, then, what would happen to people like Draco who don't have any experience with the Muggle world and how to blend in there, how to survive. This is a fantastic take on it.
I love the intercutting of the present and the night before. You did a tremendous job with the adjectives, if that's not too weird a thing to say - even when you're describing something positive, it's not really mentioned in a really positive way, if that makes sense.
I'm desperate to know what the original last line was, though. I read it as quite final - the possibility that Harry might, you know, save him didn't even register with me until ( ... )
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There were a few instances where I was a little thrown by the phrasing, but then it sort of coalesced into feeling like you were trying to create the sensation that Draco was overwhelmed.I was writing in a slightly jerky style intentionally, because that felt right for the subject, and the phrasing will have been more Brit than usual, because I let myself phrase things in a British way when I'm writing this fandom. But if you think there are some sections that would benefit from a tidy up, do tell me. I won't be offended ( ... )
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Just write it as romantic DOOM!fic. You can do it! That's my cheerleading voice, if you were wondering. Also, I don't know what it is with you and the imagry lately, but the idea of the 'happy fic hat' - Well, suffice it to say that in my head, it rather resembles Snape's hat from the Boggart scene, only with more feathers and bright colours.
But if you think there are some sections that would benefit from a tidy up, do tell me. I won't be offended.
It actually wasn't at all the phrasing that threw me so much as it was the sentence fragments, especially at the beginning. Towards the end, the sentence structure tended to flow much more smoothly, and it was much easier to parse, at least for me. I think that the place where I noticed it most was here:
There is steam billowing out of the back of the building. It smells of spices and far away places that he's never visited. He watches clouds of it ( ... )
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I don't have any sort of sequel in mind, but I have some vague ideas for what might be a prequel. Having said that, I have a WIP to finish, and challenge stories to write, so all those ought to come first.
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