British parks guy: Yeh, fishin’ shit outta pools like this is me specialty.
Dude: Yeah, that’s great, but our frisbee is stuck in a tree.
British parks guy: Throwin’ yer frisbee at the birds, eh? You better make sure they don’t come after ye in yer dreams and peck yer fuckin’ eyes out.

-Central Park

Overheard by: NG

https://overheardinnewyork.com/he- ( Read more... )

Drunk woman on cell: It’s been Tuesday all day! And tomorrow’s gonna be Tuesday too!

-St. George, Staten Island

Overheard by: johnny

Teen girl: So, if I didn’t pass a drug test, does that mean I, like, failed?

-Pratt

Southern girl: …so I asked her what the “M” on her bag stood for. She was all, “It stands for Margaret, ’cause it’s my name.” And I ( Read more... )

Drunk #1: This little guy was almost in the Olympics for me…he was almost the donkey I never had.
Drunk #2: Donkey?
Drunk #1: Yeah, like a horse.

-N train

https://overheardinnewyork.com/the-really-special-olympics/

https://overheardinnewyork.com/the-really-special-olympics

Hobo: Please man, can I have 25 cents? It’s to eat, ya know…
Man: Here you go. But if I was you, I’d eat something else.

-Hylan Boulevard, Staten Island

Overheard by: Helniev

https://overheardinnewyork.com/if-i-was-you-id-give-me-a-dollar/

https://overheardinnewyork.com/if-i-was-you-id-give-me-a-dollar

Girl: Where are you taking me?
Guy: Home.
Girl: No, seriously?
Guy: Home, you think I’m kidding?
Girl: …seriously?
Guy: We’re going to my place, yeah. Why?
Girl: I just met you.

They both got out of the subway together.

-2 train

Overheard by: charlie moreno

https://overheardinnewyork.com/her-body-was-never-found/

https://overheardinnewyork.com/her-body- ( Read more... )

Girl #1: So you have a hot gyno?
Girl #2: No, he’s just my regular doctor.
Girl #1: Oh.
Girl #2: Yeah.

-Art Bar, 8th Avenue

https://overheardinnewyork.com/puts-her-in-the-stirrups-anyway/

https://overheardinnewyork.com/puts-her-in-the-stirrups-anyway

Guy: My roommate is such a pain in the ass. It’s always something with her. She never stops complaining about something.
Girl: I know, same thing at my house.
Guy: She gets me so fed up it’s like all i hear now is, “Wah wah, my pussy hurts.”

-Penn Plaza office

Overheard by: Ocera

https://overheardinnewyork.com/kind-of-a-monthly-issue-with-some-women/
( Read more... )

Girl: Hey, are you gay?
Guy: Er, yeah I am. How’d you know?
Girl: Score! My gaydar is never wrong! Ever since I came out of the closet it’s just always on!

-B49 bus

Overheard by: Arthur B

https://overheardinnewyork.com/the-sickeningly-sweet-scent-of-sodomy-2/

https://overheardinnewyork.com/the-sickeningly-sweet-scent-of-sodomy

Little old man: Hold on! That card is full, so I get one free.
Jamaican lady: I know! I see!
Little old man: Don’t be gettin’ fresh with me either.
Jamaican lady: Or what? What you goin’ do?

-Au Bon Pain, Broad Street

Overheard by: Mark S.

https://overheardinnewyork.com/ill-teach-you-the-meaning-of-bon-pain/

https://overheardinnewyork.com/ill-teach- ( Read more... )

White guy: You know, on the Tokyo subways they have people who push passengers onto trains. Uh, have you ever been to Tokyo?
Asian guy: No.
White guy: Oh. Are you Japanese?
Asian guy: No.
White guy: Oh. Where you from?
Asian guy: Queens.

-N train

Overheard by: Rich

https://overheardinnewyork.com/oh-so-youre-korean/

https://overheardinnewyork.com/oh-so- ( Read more... )