Comments | outsidetheparty: Spiritfire report

outsidetheparty

Spiritfire report

Aug 04, 2009 11:55

So that was different.

I spent a good chunk of time trying to force the spiritual experience I had last time to happen again. That, predictably, did not work. It was like trying to force an orgasm. Trying to light the same fire twice. A bad chunk of time, really ( Read more... )

Comments 6

osirusbrisbane August 5 2009, 17:22:46 UTC

Thanks for posting this. You give me hope that I will eventually grow into being a grownup, even if I still feel like this most of the time (I can't believe I am 30).

outsidetheparty August 6 2009, 14:26:37 UTC

Yeah, that XKCD rang a few bells for me, too.

I think part of the problem for me was that I was working under the assumption that grownup == boring, which just turns out to be completely untrue...

kassrachel August 5 2009, 17:31:14 UTC

I have a lot of thoughts about this but most of them are kind of incoherent -- we should talk in person later this week. (Want to do dinner some night or something? We're kinda housebound atm...)

In my former life as a martial artist, and in my current life as a [insert profession here], I've experienced a curve which is kind of similar to what you're describing: the shift from beginner's mind where everything feels miraculous and new and I feel taken-care-of, to suddenly being in a position where I'm aware that I'm helping to hold/create the space for others and therefore I can't lose myself in it the way I used to. In my early years in Jewish Renewal I used to weep in almost every service, because it felt so new and so powerful and so just for me. These days I'm generally in a different headspace -- especially if I'm helping to lead, either directly or indirectly (by singing loudly a tune that not everyone knows, supporting my friends who are leading, etc.) Sometimes I really miss what it was like when it was brand-new. Usually I ( ... )

outsidetheparty August 6 2009, 14:43:36 UTC

suddenly being in a position where I'm aware that I'm helping to hold/create the space for others

This. If there was a theme for me this time around it was all about listening and extending.

On the age thing -- this was a recurring theme for me in my time with Sarah M., so it's something I was beginning to wrap my head around even before spiritfire... but I did luck into the right event: I've forgotten who it was, but someone I was talking to there was contrasting it with one of the other similar fires (there's apparently a whole circuit of these things; sounds like some people just bounce from one to the next all year long) and said "Spiritfire is organized by people in their forties. That one's organized by people in their twenties. So there's a lot less chasing around in the forest in the dark here, for example."

galagan August 6 2009, 01:09:55 UTC

I totally understand this reaction. The first time I went to Moosehide in the Yukon, it was completely magical. I was 30, homeless, road-tripping in the convertible and living a dream. Random fortuitous stuff kept happening in ways that seemed like they had to be part of some grand plan. Everything had a purpose, and everything fit together seamlessly ( ... )

outsidetheparty August 6 2009, 15:07:45 UTC

Thank you. This gives me a lot to think about; I'm seeing a lot of parallels here. (One of the things I love about posting about these events is how much I learn about my friends' paths. This isn't the type of thing people tend to talk about much. Which is too bad ( ... )