Spiritfire report
So that was different.
I spent a good chunk of time trying to force the spiritual experience I had last time to happen again. That, predictably, did not work. It was like trying to force an orgasm. Trying to light the same fire twice. A bad chunk of time, really ( Read more... )
I spent a good chunk of time trying to force the spiritual experience I had last time to happen again. That, predictably, did not work. It was like trying to force an orgasm. Trying to light the same fire twice. A bad chunk of time, really ( Read more... )
In my former life as a martial artist, and in my current life as a [insert profession here], I've experienced a curve which is kind of similar to what you're describing: the shift from beginner's mind where everything feels miraculous and new and I feel taken-care-of, to suddenly being in a position where I'm aware that I'm helping to hold/create the space for others and therefore I can't lose myself in it the way I used to. In my early years in Jewish Renewal I used to weep in almost every service, because it felt so new and so powerful and so just for me. These days I'm generally in a different headspace -- especially if I'm helping to lead, either directly or indirectly (by singing loudly a tune that not everyone knows, supporting my friends who are leading, etc.) Sometimes I really miss what it was like when it was brand-new. Usually I think it's a fair trade-off -- I know I'm really part of something now, and I know it's not going to disappear from my life, and I feel like I'm part of a community, and those things are the compensations which make up for not often being able to access that feeling of being new and overwhelmed and blown-away.
On an unrelated note: I am so much more interested in the cool grown-ups than the cool kids these days. At the big Renewal gathering in Ohio, the one with 400 people, there was a "youth group" there for people under 35... and I still spent all my time with my friends, who are largely in their 40s and 50s and even 60s, because I kind of feel like I'm done with my 20s (and my early thirties) whereas the incredibly cool people who are older than me are showing me how to grow into the incredibly cool grown-up I want to become.
I hope this is making sense; last night wasn't the best night for sleeping and I'm kind of punchy just now...
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This. If there was a theme for me this time around it was all about listening and extending.
On the age thing -- this was a recurring theme for me in my time with Sarah M., so it's something I was beginning to wrap my head around even before spiritfire... but I did luck into the right event: I've forgotten who it was, but someone I was talking to there was contrasting it with one of the other similar fires (there's apparently a whole circuit of these things; sounds like some people just bounce from one to the next all year long) and said "Spiritfire is organized by people in their forties. That one's organized by people in their twenties. So there's a lot less chasing around in the forest in the dark here, for example."
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