Comments | outsideinn: Without you... (plus mood-music-video-thing Tribute to Ben)

sensi_doctor in outsideinn

Without you... (plus mood-music-video-thing Tribute to Ben)

Jan 02, 2008 13:36

JD is in a dark corner of the Inn lobby. It's not clear how long he's been there. 15 minutes... a few hours. He's wearing scrubs. Hell, he still has medical gloves on ( Read more... )

robert chase, j.d. (john dorian), steve o'donnell, buffy summers, april dorian

Comments 61

shealone_stands January 2 2008, 20:36:57 UTC

Buffy hasn't been in all summer. So it's really weird for her to come back in and find it's still winter in the Inn.

It's even weirder to see JD sitting at one of the tables with a glass of alcohol. And after all those threats she gave him...

Buffy knows there's something very wrong here. She knows she ought to be careful about it. She's not exactly at her most tactful since she died, though, so what she does is walk over to sit at the table across from JD, eye him silently for a moment, and then ask with a tiny smile, "Didn't we have this talk a couple times before?"

sensi_doctor January 2 2008, 21:17:24 UTC

"Huh?" JD blinks, looks at her, and then the shot glass in his hand as though he's just now realizing that it's there. "Oh." He swallows and stares at the scotch inside of it. "Yeah."

He sets the glass down. With shaking fingers, he removes the gloves on his hands and picks up the glass again.

shealone_stands January 2 2008, 21:23:25 UTC

Buffy frowns a little at him, and then reaches out hesitantly to grab his free hand.

"JD?"

sensi_doctor January 2 2008, 21:31:16 UTC

JD closes his eyes when she takes his hand. As if that's going to hold back any emotion that might dare to sneak past.

After a moment, he squeezes her hand back, sets the glass down, and places his free hand against his forehead.

His eyes remain closed as he says the words he's dreading saying time and time again.

"Ben died."

Thread 12

intensivistmd January 2 2008, 21:57:55 UTC

He's coming down the stairs looking just a little tired. Ever since Ben had left, he's not felt quite right and those feelings are ones that keep him up at night.

However, Chase disregards this as he walks through the lobby, especially as he sees a rather upset JD in the corner, with alcohol no less. He approaches slowly.

"Hey," he tries softly and decides to take up a seat across from him.

sensi_doctor January 2 2008, 22:10:53 UTC

Oh God.

That's JD's one coherent thought when Chase sits across him.

Oh God ohgodohgodohgodohgod. I can't do this. I can't. I can't Please.

His eyes start to burn and he throws back the shot as quick as he can. The stinging of the alcohol takes away the tears that threatened to fall. He closes his eyes, tight, and takes in a deep breath.

"Chase." It's surprising how calm his voice sounds. There's only a slight, high pitched wave to it. "Ben... he, uhm, he... about an hour ago. He went into cardiac arrest. And died. I couldn't... couldn't, uhm, save him. I'm sorry."

intensivistmd January 2 2008, 22:21:08 UTC

Chase isn't sure what to feel.

He doesn't want to believe it, doesn't want to think that it happened when Ben was just in his arms a few days before.

He died?

Surprisingly, there's not a flicker of emotion on his face. In fact, there's nothing at first.

"What was the underlying cause?" He had had a feeling, but he didn't want to believe it.

sensi_doctor January 2 2008, 22:23:23 UTC

Think up another shot. think up another shot. Think up another-

"His leukemia. It came back. Out of remission. I should've... made him see a doctor at some point. Get the tests taken. I traveled with him... for so... long. I just-"

Ben had a way of making you feel like everything would be all right. Just with his presence. It hadn't even crossed JD's mind.

Thread 13

thteve January 3 2008, 05:20:55 UTC

Steve? Not exactly without worry about this.

And he doesn't even think about the fact that JD might not've talked to Ben yet, and might not know he's here, he just sits down, all earnest worry.

"What's wrong, what happened?"

Steve's afraid that something happened to April or the baby. Because it can't be Ben. Ben's... indestructible.

sensi_doctor January 3 2008, 05:28:22 UTC

JD had talked to Ben, but not about the fact that Steve has come back to the Inn so he looks up from his drink and drops the shot glass right on the table, spilling it all out, but he doesn't even care.

"Steve? B- but how? I thought..." He's a little too emotionally overwhelmed to remember that the Inn defies questions like how and why. "I'd never see you... I-" Oh yes, alcohol everywhere and of course that's the thing that's going to bring tears to his eyes. "Shit."

thteve January 3 2008, 05:30:33 UTC

Steve doesn't normally like to think things clean, 'cause it seems so silly to him, but this time he does. "Hey, don't worry, it's all clean now, see?" He gives a half-hearted sheepish smile. "Sorry, guess Ben didn't show you the picture, huh?"

sensi_doctor January 3 2008, 05:35:50 UTC

And of course, the mention of Ben's name makes a few tears spill, which he wipes at desperately.

JD turns from Steve and bites down, hard, on his bottom lip to try to gain some semblance of control. Long enough to explain, at least.

"Uhm, Steve..." God, it's so fucking hard. He shudders and grips the table edge. "Steve, Ben died. Earlier to- today."

Thread 21

fallen_april January 3 2008, 05:23:05 UTC

April wanders in, quite thrilled to have found this place again.

And then she sees JD. And she's all-business. Business being worry and fear and needing to make it better.

She comes up to JD, sits next to him, and wraps her arms around him without a word.

He'll talk when he wants to.

sensi_doctor January 3 2008, 05:32:44 UTC

The only thing that can bring tears to his eyes other than spilled alcohol and having to tell Chase is April, apparently. She slides his arms around him and the tears start to burn so he sucks tehe shot back quick, wincing, heavily and then reaching over and pulling her on top of his lap.

The scotch did very little to keep the tears away with April. He presses his face against her shoulder, breathing shakily. Everything hurts.

And he can't, for the life of him, figure out how best to put this into words.

fallen_april January 3 2008, 05:44:15 UTC

She cuddles him, rubs his back, kisses his hair, murmurs comforting nonsense. She'll make it better, dammit.

The narration thinks it's probably a good thing he gets some good comfort before she's breaking, too.

sensi_doctor January 3 2008, 05:49:18 UTC

He can't do it. He can't say the words.

He's supposed to protect her. He wasn't supposed to let Ben die. He wasn't...

JD has to do it. He knows. He must be strong. He closes his eyes and lifts his head up, away from her so his voice isn't muffled. "April..." His chest must be crushing under all of this ache. "Ben... he, uhm, he died. Today. Went into cardiac arrest... I couldn't-" JD shakes his head. "Couldn't save him. I'm sorry."

Thread 15