5th January, John/Brian, CTS Studios (recording overdubs for the film`The Beatles at Shea stadium')

[writejohnlennon]

We were having a break. A much needed break, if you ask me. Recording overdubs what not was I preferred to do, just like pretending to sing in video clips. It all seemed so stupid and superficial. Granted, it was useful, so the people who'd buy this bloody movie can ear something, but nevertheless, it was extraordinarily tedious. I snorted thinking

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[misterepstein]

I smiled tightly, standing near the wall opposite John as I looked down at him. I had long since given up on taking his insults to my ability to do my job seriously. He knew better than to truly doubt me, though he was, perhaps, naive about what the business could be. I prided myself on keeping him--all of them--naive.

"Don't worry, I'll be leaving soon; your safety is still ensured." I watched him for a moment, the shadows of the dim corridor making him look simultaneously younger and older than he was. "Tired already, are you?"

[writejohnlennon]

I could see Brian frown in the darkness and mentally cursed myself. I'd hurt him. As usual. I just couldn't help it. I sighed. Was I making him feel miserable just to feel less silly myself? That was despicable.

He leaned near me with a concerned face. "Tired already, are you?" I looked up sharply, on the verge of making a biting comment and restrained myself just in time. For god sake's Lennon. "Why are you so nice with me?" I asked tiredly. I looked at him and pouted a bit. "And yes. I'm tired, if you must know. Now, what are you going to do about it, hey?"I added harshly, hoping to temper my unexpected gentleness a few seconds before.

[misterepstein]

I raised my eyebrows at the typically irrational Mr. Lennon. "I will instruct you to go home after you're finished here, have a healthy dinner, and get a decent night's sleep. I don't, however, expect you'll take that advice." I tilted my head slightly, less certain how to respond to the rest of it; not even entirely sure he meant it seriously rather than sarcastically. "Am I particularly nice with you?"

[writejohnlennon]

I snorted at his advice. "Yeah. Be a good lil'Beatle and go back home as soon as my day at the office is finished. Shag the wife and have a good night of sleep." I sighed. "It's not just that, Eppy. I'm not just tired. I'm...bored." I crushed my cigarette with the hell of my boot and stood up, leaning against the wall and watching him almost shyly. "I'm not tired as in I-need-a-good-night-of-sleep tired. I'm tired as in I-need-a-fucking-two-years-long-vacation-from-these-screaming-jerks." I raised my brows for emphasis.

"Am I particularly nice with you?"He asked. I shrugged, not really willing to answer. Dangerous waters. "You're fucking nice to everyone, Eppy. A bleeding saint, you are...don't you ever get tired of this?"I looked at him almost hopefully.

[misterepstein]

"I don't have time to be tired," I answered immediately before I realized that the look he was giving me was not confrontational but... something else, I wasn't sure. In any case, I softened my tone. "Everyone has to work, John. Those of us manage people have to be nice--though I should think saintly is a bit of a stretch, and those of us who are rock stars have to endure rapt adoration of their fans." I knew it was far from the sort of thing he liked to hear, but it sometimes needed to be said.

[writejohnlennon]

I half opened my mouth to retort something biting at his comment, the words getting stuck in my throat when he looked up and stared at me with intent eyes. For a few seconds, I didn't know what to say. I should have felt offended, but after all, he was pretty right. I opted for a non committal shrug, my temper brightening at what he added. "Did you just said I was charming?" I asked, genuinely raising my brows in wonder.

[misterepstein]

I watched him, not entirely sure what he expected or wanted me to say. The smallest implication could upset him, though I'd meant nothing by it. I knew better than to expect anything from my mouth would be taken as innocent. "I shouldn't think that comes as a surprise to you."

[writejohnlennon]

My smile grew broader. I didn't know what I made of this yet, but I liked it. "I know, hearing thousands of teenage girls scream my name could have reassured me about the matter, but somehow, from you, it's quite not the same," I mused. I wasn't really offended or shocked. I'd grown up a bit, too, since I'd be disgusted by Brian's confession of his sexual preferences. This meant I was somewhat fine with it, but still on the edge enough to make me curious and even pushy about it.

[misterepstein]

"Possibly. The volume is certainly not the same," I said calmly, despite the fact that I did not feel particularly calm.

[writejohnlennon]

I took a deliberate step into his personal space. This was so simple. Why hadn't I thought about it earlier? No matter how harsh or violent I could get with him, it wouldn't make Brian lose his temper. Hopefully, I had another means of making him snap. I put a hand on his shoulder, looking at him in the eyes. I didn't smile, but at this point, my intensions must have looked quite clear.

[misterepstein]

My heart leapt into my throat, but I kept my wits about me enough to glance down the corridor. "John," I said, wanting the word to come out as a warning, but my voice had the slightest tremor. "Don't be foolish."

[writejohnlennon]

I snorted. "Foolish?" I saw his quick glance down the corridor and smirked, pushing his body more firmly into the wall with mine, and getting close enough to be able to whisper in his ear. "So, precious little Brian. Do you think I could get you to loose your mind long enough to dry hump me in this corridor, with the possibility of someone stepping in at any moment?"

[misterepstein]

I straightened my back, wanting to get away from him although there was no where to go. And, of course, there was the selfish part of me that didn't want to get away from him. "If I'm meant to ensure your safety, I wouldn't be doing a very good job of it if I allowed that."