Ninety Nine Problems.

[orwellian_trash]

As surely everyone, even the people who hide under stones obsessing over the minutiae of esoteric ephemera, knows the saying by the greatest poet of our generation, Jay-Z: "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one".

However what Mr Z's song fails to convey is what exactly his 99 problems are. The song, which appears on 2004's The Black Album, goes

Comments

[callya]

- It no longer costs 99p thus rendering its name a flithy lie!

[tired_spirit]

It wasn't 99p in 1930 when the shorter, 99, Flake bars were launched either. The 99 had absolutely nothing to do with price. You have mistaken a temporary correlation for deeper meaning.

[orwellian_trash]

I also believed this was the origin of the name.

[tired_spirit]

As a child, when the price was lower than 99p, yes I'm old, I demanded an explanation for the name "99" as it seemed to have no relationship to anything (and I have always wanted things to have a logical relationship with other things dammit).

No-one was forthcoming with a good explanation and I had to come to the conclusion that it was much like Heinz 52 varieties in that it just seemed like a number that would be popular.

Numbers may be logical fictions but sometimes their fiction is not logical.

I'm going to have an ice lolly.

[tired_spirit]

I think his main 99 problem (he does use the plural of course) is that he is over eager in his Flake eating and so runs out of Flake too soon. My Brother used to do something similar when he was little when he forgot how much Flake was left under the surface of the ice cream.

I liked this :D

[bunglevolante]

what the hell are those things impaled in those poor ice creams? tree bark? cinnamon sticks? beef jerky? maybe that's why he's got problems with 99 flake ice cream. who the hell wants to eat beef jerky with their ice cream?

[tired_spirit]

That's a Flake, or rather a shorter version thereof, which is made from Cadbury's Dairy Milk Chocolate folded back on itself again and again so as to produce a flakey quality when cooled, wrapped, and sold for public consumption.

[bunglevolante]

interesting. i've never heard of such a thing.

[bunglevolante]

mind you, i didn't know about lion bars until yesterday either. which sound exactly like these 100 grand bars my dad loves so much. made by the same company, so there you go.

[orwellian_trash]

Well /b/ isn't exactly renowned for it's subtlety.