adrift

i am self medicating with coffee and weed.

i just want to work hard. i want to enjoy the time i have away from work. and i want to get a full nights sleep.

i want other things but mainly to stop dreaming about them.
dreaming impossible things.

it is coming to an end. i just dont know how or when.

any moment the phone will ring and i will hear you say that you still want to get married to me but it will be to late because i wont know who i am and you wont know me by now ( Read more... )

i would call. i should.

making amends.

making another go of it.

making out.

i feel sick sometimes when i look at everything behind me.

i continue to make mistakes and live a solitary life.

i persist at being unhappy.

I have a million other ideas.

The ones that make me regrettably intense.
and lacking.

The other me likes to get raving drunk on friday nights and fuck up my weekends ( Read more... )

I have been working this week on just getting myself organized in the lab. Getting the future situated ( Read more... )