So, I lost my job.  My perfect, wonderful, beautiful job.  Gahhh.  I'm so depressed about it.

I gots two weeks to find another job without being unemployed... but if worse comes to worse, I can pay rent for another couple months or so with my savings and last paychecks.  But not too much food.  Fuck. 

( Read more... )

I'm quite a bit hung over... dirty feeling... covered in little specks of primer that will never come off no matter how much I scrub.

I feel like life is getting really surreal.  Hazy shit coming this way.

And I miss Thomas. 

Why do I keep pictures?  They just.  Give me this disquieting feeling in the pit of my stomach, smell something that smells like whatever my life smelled like when I was four.  I don't remember being a happy kid, I just remember feeling like a victim all the time, so what right does nostalgia have for floating around?

when a vase is smashed to ( Read more... )

By the way, I didn't die. 

Gotta stay up tonight, darlin
gotta stay up
the rest are all asleep and waiting for me
to wake them to the sound of something new
that's never seen the light of this world
gotta stay up tonight,
gotta stay up
i'm delivering a baby

I'm kind of confused.  I don't know ( Read more... )

Fucking paranoia.  I keep thinking that I'm gonna get fired, or that I'll be involved in some terrible accident, or that I'll be kicked out of this house, or that my boyfriend will leave me for someone else.  And I know why I'm worried about all of this when I have no reason to be (or.. I don't think I have reason to be, I hope I don't have reason ( Read more... )

I woke up around 3:30 AM, and am still awake.  Good thing I don't have work ( Read more... )

I feel very independent today in particular, but I also think that the feeling has acculumated over the week and this is the peak.  I went out and bought groceries for the first time today.  Meaning, I went to the store, bought massive amounts of food for my self preservation, and bought it with the money I earned working hard all week.  It's such ( Read more... )