So, I don't really know why I'm posting here.  Ninety percent of the people that used to do this public bitch-fest, boring update-of-my-life thing deleted their journals or just stopped. I guess I'm just not that smart ( Read more... )

A  touch of spray paint makes junkies lightheaded

( Here's trying to not look higher )

TOO! MUCH ( Read more... )

So, it's been a while.

Cholo died a while back... I had to help drag his body out from under the bed.  One of the most crushing moments ever... he was so young.  It's taken me a while to cope, or want to talk about it... still, I didn't really talk about it to anyone outside my immediate family (and those I consider family, like my roomies).  I'm ( Read more... )

I feel great today, despite getting pretty drunk last night for the first time in a long time, and then forgetting my usual ritual of downing a bottle of water before bed ( Read more... )

I re-read Choke for like the billionth time ever, but the first time in a long time, and I didn't realize it but it was the beginning of my nostalgia mudslide.  Took me to a time when books like Choke were what I was all about.  Then with the drugs... the almost relapse, the "throwing up dope sick again" thing that happened with the Vicodin from ( Read more... )

Note to self:  Don't die.  Put on some make up.  Try and feel good about everything.  Go to work.  Smile, say "thank you."  Buy a pack of smokes.  Fix yer hair.  Don't die.

Note to all you:   likewise, if applicable.

I don't know why I feel so much like shit.

I've been running into people lately... people that I used to hang out with all the time, and now don't see for months at a time.  And I'll talk to them for a few minutes and then we'll go our seperate ways.  Even the conversation is slightly forced and awkward half the time.  I don't know what happened to my friends... to my social life.  We ( Read more... )

i am butt

I feel damn sexy these days.  Dirty, heroin, bruised-up, scum bag sexy.  Sometimes I like the way my lips look like they were cut straight off  the corpse of a throttled suck artist dumped behind a Tijuana whorehouse.  Even if I don't have the razor sharp cheekbones, I like my sunken eyes and conversely round-ass baby cheeks ( Read more... )