so i accidentally went a little crazy on robby again last night. the whole situation is just stupid because the only reason why i ever get an attitude is because i don't think he likes me and i start to get resentful because i really like him. So really its stupid for me to be feeling like that anyway, but the point is that i do and this could ( Read more... )

so far twoce in my life i've met someone who totally captivated me... not that they were perfect, because i saw their flaws... the thing was i just accepted and appreciated everything about them - including those flaws. There are even certain flaws that I find good in a way. One of those people had a tremendous effect on my whole life until now ( Read more... )

Oh lets see... we got a couple of minutes to kill before its absolutly necissary to sleep... shouldn't have gone out tonight. I say that alot. Seriously though, I gotta stop going out all the time. Gotta work a double tomorrow... sux.

nitey nite.

all in all i'd have to say it was a pretty good day. mom's birthday. we went to sea world, her favorite place. i was a little down all day. this is going to be a bitch. i know its right though so i gotta stick to my guns. stus kids and my aund and uncle and two little cousins were there so i played mommy all day counting kids making sure they ( Read more... )

things need to change. i need some help and guidance here. i need to do a lot of praying. i need strength. i need to let go. stop caring so much. stop giving so much. consider myself.

god this is going to be so hard.

song for mommy ( Read more... )

updating again...... i'm feeling much more blah then i did before. pissed off at the world. i wand to be happier. first step to that is to start with myself and change things because i can't change things with anyone else... so shit. that sucks because i'm lonely.... i have no body... do call my own... damnit. i want somebody to love... i need ( Read more... )

so i haven't written in a long time but i'm writing now. It's 6:06am and I'm still awake. Just can't sleep. I feel driven. Sometimes this happens to me where I get in a mood where its like I have to do something worthwhile. So I drew up a possible tattoo and looked at a bunch of stuff online. Now I decided I should update this thing once and ( Read more... )

i caught myself smiling yesterday
i thought everything was okay
how did i let you in
how did you know
exactly what to do to hurt me
just so

i'm guarded
you're permeating
layers placed just so
just so

just so i feel tonight
just so you can see right through me
just so

i'm smiling
you hear me thinking
thoughts you shouldn't know
just so

just so i try to hide

not finished but i'm tired