"I did this, went about mentally seducing men just for kicks. The point was never the sex. I hadn’t ever enjoyed sex much, and wouldn’t for several years. The point was the game and the game was not simply to get someone into bed. Men are embarrassingly easy to seduce. The game was to get them to fall in love with you first, or get them to think ( Read more... )

 i know this is stupid but it's my final straw. i cant take any more. i really cant. i mean what am i supposed to do?? just forget how much i've fucked up?? forget how much my luife sucks?? it's impossible. i am the owrst persionj you wil ever meet. i dont desercve to live. i dont deserve to breathe. i am done. thanks to anyone that gave a shit ( Read more... )

 ha ha i'm going to the gym tonight... and i have hairy under arms.

that is all.

 fuck! i just moved my arm back and hit my desk... it really fucking hurt!! and it wasn't even like i hit it that hard! it made my eye tear up!! i mean wtf ( Read more... )

 i have the biggest urge to get "something worth fighting for" tattooed on my back... i have no idea why

edit: 11.36am

( Read more... )

 sometimes it scares me that i can look at a pic of someone the same height as me and be 95lbs and i  still dont think they look good enough...

edit - 11am
my boss: have you lost weight? you're looking very thin!
me - *nearly falls over laughing* 
and all i could think was if you think i look thin now wait until i get to my goal!

so this weekend i'm catching up with a guy who (here's the springer part!) is the ex-boyfriend (and father of their child together) with my ex-boyfriends sister!  i presume it's purely a sex thing so i'm a bit worried about him seeing my body!! ahh!! hehe plus i'm going to get a bikini wax thursday night to make sure that if it is a sex thing i'm ( Read more... )

 So after much torment and time spent thinking i've decided to tell the guy that i'm "seeing" that i dont want anything more than a friendship. he's just not my type in the boyfriend sense. plus i have way too much fun being single when i go out ( Read more... )

so i'm feeling really depressed today... i just want to crawl back into bed and never get up... i'm so tired of this. i'm so sick of being me and hating every single thing about myself every single day. i just want to be happy

so i just got a sms from my dad to say my lil sis will be going home soon!!! i'm so glad that she's ok!! it was so horrible to see her in hospital in soo much pain and not being able to help her :( but i did give her a big cuddle and lots of kisses... she's such a cutie ( Read more... )