That's one of the best pick-up lines I can think of. Well, there's that and "Hey baby, I don't have herpes ( Read more... )

Demetri Martin is a comedian on the Daily Show. He has his own website. On this website, I found a reason to believe in poetry once again!

( If you figure out why this is so awesome, kudos. )

Damn straight.
( You can cut a Livejournal post, but you can't Livejournal post a cut. Think about it. )

So, it's after midnight, and I have to be up by 7:00. Oh well, they tell me sleep is for pussies ( Read more... )

It started with Guess Who's Coming To Dinner, an Oscar-winning movie starring Sydney Poitier. Then, in 2005, Guess Who starred Ashton Kutcher and Bernie Mac. But, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Coming in 2006, Nippo Films presents: Guess Who's Blaspheming Dinner! It started off as a beautiful romance between a short asian woman and a highly religious ( Read more... )

After watching MUCH TAKEOVER with that flaming closet homosexual host fuck, I watched two COMPLETELY STUPID TEENAGERS compete in a contest so that they could see GOOD CHARLOTTE or KELLY CLARKSON. It was quite similar to having a pencil jammed up your urethra. So, in response to this barrage of crap, I came up with a marvelous idea. Why not just ( Read more... )

If you woke up and I was in bed with you, what would be your first thought?
(Now post this in your LJ and find out what mine would be.)

Well, after a two-week hiatus from my beloved computer (damn viruses), I am back. And I'm here to say that everyone should go out and get themselves a cripple. Having taken Ewan out as a cripple, I realize now that having a handicapped person with you means incerased hospitality, more attention, and a generally more entertaining night on the town. ( Read more... )

So, here I am, sitting at home, alone. Well, enough about me, time to delve into more of my thoughts.

( Two dyslexic guys walk into a bra. )

( Read more... )