I look at the things I headed my journal, and they don't fit anymore. "Decay of a Girl"...I never knew how true that would be when I first wrote it. I was just being typically teenage and angsty. But now I can go back through old journals and watch myself decay before my very eyes. But what do you call it when you decay, when entropy turns into an ( Read more... )

I've noticed a disturbing trend online, made more noticeable by my recent break from the internet for almost a year. It seems most of the people I used to enjoy reading what they write, they now just post funny or interesting videos or links from the internet. Everyone is posting a link to something else. Sure, it's embedded, but that doesn't make ( Read more... )

I've joined the masses, I guess. Get out of jail and Choose Life just like Trainspotting says. It doesn't sound like such a bad thing as life goes on.

I just spent seven months in Morris County Correctional Facility. What a vacation spot! It actually was kind-of a good time, at times. I certainly needed it. I've been out for almost two months and I' ( Read more... )

Wow, this page for updating sure looks a lot different than I remember it. And I used a client for updating before that...I shall get one again, for it will make the journaling much easier. I'm thinking of re-setting up emeraldentropy.com and wallowing in self-masturbation for some time again. It's tempting, but not quite such a driving desire as ( Read more... )

Just for posterity, I decided to copy over part of an email to my parents (yes, we're finally talking again!) regarding what I'd been up to for the past two years. This particular part of the saga is the week that I spent in the mental hospital and the day or two after it.

( And here is that part of the email, in direct copy )

Mari was here, she brought Brian. The past few days Misty has been here. In tow she brings Jennie. Eddie came over, which was totally cool. He's the dude who works at the sunglass place at the mall (other job: bouncer) who I ended up kissing at his job and exchanging numbers because Sarah and I were there to pick up a guy for her *rolls eyes* and I ( Read more... )

Madness ( Read more... )

I haven't slept yet, but that's hardly a new occurance. I feel a lot more comfortable in my newly assigned "sleeping clothes" which is what I have chosen to do with the shirt and jeans I wore while being homeless. From all the times I washed and wore and destroyed and jumped in the creek and slept under bridges and in tents and everything they feel ( Read more... )

I need to stop doing the jail thing ( Read more... )

I focus on his mouth...so close, so beautiful. He is closer than he has ever been before. He leans even nearer, standing in front of me and saying nothing. Silent still, he tilts his head and leans closer, closer...closer. Our lips are almost touching. His lips part and I can feel his warm breath on my mouth. He wets his lips and I do the same. One ( Read more... )