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Comments 157

alcyone10 October 23 2024, 00:57:03 UTC
i feel for her, because it's awful enough to lose the person you think is the love of your life, let alone being stranded and losing community, your home, money, etc., on top of that. but...i don't think he did anything wrong? people change their minds, even at the worst possible time. people move for each other all the time only for it to not work out. if it's true that he consciously knew he wanted to break up with her and still had her do all of this, actively knowing he'd end it soon, that's really fucked up. but i feel like the more likely, mundane option, is simply that he might have been having doubts but pushed them away, was unsure, etc., and then finally did it when he was sure and ready. he might not even have trusted his doubts or confusion, idk. i don't really get why he's made out to be a villain simply for breaking up with someone, which is a thing people unfortunately have to do.

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squirrels_oh_no October 23 2024, 01:04:47 UTC

I could see him thinking his issues were "I am not happy in California" but in reality it was "I am not happy in this relationship" and thinking he could fix things if they moved to Texas. It still sucks for her.

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alcyone10 October 23 2024, 01:19:03 UTC
yeah, definitely, we don't always have complete knowledge of our own feelings and wishes.

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theactualworst October 23 2024, 01:46:03 UTC
Yeah but something about him going on that family vacation and then coming back and giving her a note tells me he’s probably at least discussed his doubts with his family before.

The note is very cowardly and makes me feel like he wasn’t communicating honestly. He should’ve told her if he had any doubts before the move. I said below too that they could’ve tried a trial separation with him moving first.

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alcyone10 October 23 2024, 00:58:25 UTC
oh and the worst thing i ever did for a guy was agree to be in an open relationship when i didn't want that. i should have known better, but i was 23 and he was 37, and i just wasn't experienced enough yet to understand that even if i was intellectually, rationally accepting of nonmonogamy, i needed to listen to what it actually did to my heart and spirit and trust that instead. so fucking painful.

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damaliaraya October 23 2024, 01:03:17 UTC
Followed my husband from port to port for 12 years, including to Florida, putting my own career potential on hold, only for him to decide he loves me but isn’t In Love with me romantically anymore.

No man is worth living in Florida

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sitakhet October 23 2024, 01:04:33 UTC
Kept dating a guy because I couldn't be arsed to break up with him (we only really saw each other on the weekends because I would have to travel to his place to see him...since he didn't have a driver's licence. Never again dating someone who doesn't have one.)

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scriptedending October 23 2024, 01:07:41 UTC
Oh nooooo, I was sincerely hoping this was a bit. :/ I hope people leave the bf alone, for her sake.

I haven't done anything dumb for my husband. We've been dating since high school, he's great, and I often feel like I deserve him. But I know he's the exception to the rule.

I did hook up with a couple of guys to "sow my wild oats" when we were on a break in college, and I hate that I did that. I didn't fully understand that quality and an emotional connection is a million times better than quantity, and they were gross. But I guess it was a good learning experience!

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