Dominic Monaghan Says ‘Lost’ Co-Star Evangeline Lilly Broke His Heart

[hewontgo]

Dominic Monaghan Gets Candid About "Devastating" Split From Lost Co-star Evangeline Lilly https://t.co/szpS15IgLO
- E! News (@enews) September 1, 2022
He dated Lilly from 2004 to 2007, noted that the two were even discussing marriage and kids

Comments

[hellcatshalala]

her bf was struggling with alcoholism and she thought it would be cute to cheat on him?

[howlin_wolf_66]

I wasn't trying to argue that it's not a problem - especially for details at the source that weren't in the original ONRD post.

[jadedsapphire27]

I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to imply that *you* were saying it wasn't a problem, I was explaining why *she* should still see it as a problem. That's my fault, I should have made that clearer in the reply.

[howlin_wolf_66]

No, it's fine, I didn't take it personally; just wanted to set the record straight!

[glitterslugs]

i mean my alcoholism started exactly as that so.... lol

[kaiserschmarrn]

Or maybe it means that many more people have alcohol problems than would care to admit (alcohol abuse is a spectrum).

[automaticpeople]

Yes, but it doesn’t mean that everyone who drinks at the weekend is struggling with alcoholism.

[kaiserschmarrn]

His description indicates that he drank a lot. It doesn't matter whether it's every day or every weekend if you struggle without it. The fact that it influenced his "behavior, choices and mood" on a regular basis, as per his own words, also indicates more than a casual sip of beer. We have no way of knowing how compulsive his drinking was, so I wouldn't label him an alcoholic based on this, but it doesn't matter because his description of his behaviour is that of alcohol abuse and people should educate themselves about how harmful it is to have that be so normalized in a society (beyond the individual harm and the harm it does to the social relations of a person, alcohol abuse is a severe factor in lethal crime, violence and traffic accidents involving innocents, to start with).

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[automaticpeople]

Everyone’s behaviour is changed by alcohol. Going out and getting drunk at the weekend will obviously change a person’s mood and behaviour, otherwise most probably wouldn’t do it. It’s just something that comes with drinking. I think I’m just not agreeing that he said he struggled without alcohol. I think there’s a huge difference between wanting to party and absolutely having to party, because it’s a compulsion. I understand your pov though.

[kaiserschmarrn]

I don't think we'll see eye to eye on that but that's okay. But I saw elsewhere in the comments this debate about US vs UK and I can only speak for myself but I'm neither from the US nor from the UK but from a country where people drink a lot of alcohol in a very normalized way all the time. No work outing without alcohol. Not drinking alcohol or even not drinking it all the time might as well make you a social outcast. If anything, it sensitizes you to the issue. There's more to it than that but I just wanted to mention that it's not about exposure to drinking, as if people who see the excesses of it as a problem just aren't used to it enough. Quite the opposite, sadly.

But sure, as long as everyone's safe and harming neither themselves nor others, they can do whatever they want, for all I care; I'm just anti-sugarcoating something that negatively affects millions of people who lack the language to address this silent suffering because society doesn't want to hear it.

[umilicious]

Here’s another quote from the source:

But after the breakup, Monaghan hit a point where he realized he needed to make a change.

"Two months into the breakup I woke up on my kitchen floor, I didn't know what time it was and my house was black," he shared. "I was surrounded by pills and I was messed up on medication. I sat up and looked at this mess in front of me and thought 'this could have been it.' I could have accidentally taken the wrong cocktail of stuff mixed with alcohol, mixed with where my heads at and that could have been it. At that point it was a big turning point."

It sounds like he had a substance abuse problem to me. And to him, frankly.

[automaticpeople]

Ok, if he had said he was doing that before the breakup I would absolutely agree he had a serious issue then. Was he saying his behaviour became worse after the breakup though or was this also what he was doing before it?

[colapuss]

Why would it make any difference if it was before or after the break up? Regardless of stressors present, he didn’t have control over his drinking and drank to the point of black out and it impeding his relationship. Down thread you mention it being normal where you live. Binge drinking every weekend your whole life until it kills you is perfectly normal where I live too, that doesn’t make it healthy or not a form of substance abuse/addiction. Are you familiar with the phrase functional alcoholic? Or the cliche that a lot of addicts think they could stop if they wanted to? Peoples own opinion of their drinking being normal isn’t exactly an objective measure of whether it has reached an unhealthy point, but even then it seems he’s reflecting on that behavior and recognizes it as unhealthy now. I don’t think it helps anyone to minimize that and label it normal, just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s normal/ok.

[automaticpeople]

Because my posts were all referring to the drinking on weekends part, but absolutely not the drinking to the point of blacking out part. I don’t think I’m minimising anything. It is normal where I live, meaning fairly typical. I’ve also said that doesn’t mean I’m defending it and I haven’t said it’s healthy or anything like that. There’s a difference between stating something as a fact and defending that fact. I think that drinking at the weekend is normal where I am from. I also think that it can be extremely dangerous and it’s not something that I participate in myself.

I really thought he was just a guy who likes to go out drinking at the weekend. It’s a whole other story from having a compulsion to drink and always passing out from drinking.

[colapuss]

there could definitely be some miscommunication going on here so I want to point out a part of the post to make sure we’re on the same page

“I would only consider it a weekend if I was drunk out of my mind on a Friday and Saturday night. I thought that was normal

[umilicious]

I’m not going to do your homework for you to “prove” your point. If you really want to defend your position on drinking this much, go listen to the podcast that the source got this from and pull up your own receipts.

Based on his own words, he had a substance abuse problem that he addressed. If it isn’t a problem to you, fine. It’s your body and I sincerely hope your actions don’t affect anyone else if/when you drink. But to say that heavy drinking is always okay because it’s socially accepted is a choice.