Comments | o2binla: Slipping Into Darkness... Ch. 1

o2binla

Slipping Into Darkness... Ch. 1

Dec 01, 2007 01:19

Title: Slipping Into Darkness...
Description: Canon AU. My first attempt at a multi-part story! Er, writing stuff besides smex is challenging, I've found. Please bear with me.
Warnings: Oh yeah! Angst, depression, and MO!Jack. I've decided he deserves another kind of story, or at any rate, this plot bunny got stuck in my head. Not sure ( Read more... )

au, slipping into darkness, o2binla

Comments 40

vln_bbmfan December 2 2007, 14:53:32 UTC

Great start! You've captured the total despair that I've always felt would rule Jack after that last meeting with Ennis (even without the "you're the reason I'm like this" line in the movie that isn't in the OS).
No way could Jack just go back to settling for one or two weeks a year. That had been a line-drawing moment.
I think this is very plausible, and how it would have been (at least the MO!Jack angle) if Jack had not died.
Looking forward to the rest of the story. :-)

Count me in... cathyinaz December 2 2007, 16:43:27 UTC

I always wondered that about canon Jack, who I believe would have either moved on or slowly died inside anyway after that last harsh rejection from Ennis, if he hadn't actually died in the story.

It is very plausible that Jack would have moved on after that last meeting. But I always hold out hope that losing Jack would be enough to finally get Ennis off his butt, if he lost Jack that way, instead of to death, maybe he would still be able to do something about it when he realized how much he threw away.

Re: Count me in... vln_bbmfan December 2 2007, 17:33:14 UTC

But I always hold out hope that losing Jack would be enough to finally get Ennis off his butt, if he lost Jack that way, instead of to death, maybe he would still be able to do something about it when he realized how much he threw away.
That may be true, but as Jack found out over 20 yrs, it takes two to have a relationship. Will Jack be willing to walk away from the life he has made with someone else (I don't see him moving on with someone he doesn't have genuine feelings for) to give Ennis another chance?
Looking forward to seeing how you approach this dilemma, assuming that Ennis will be reappearing at some point in your story. :-)

Re: Count me in... o2binla December 2 2007, 22:25:19 UTC

There's definitely more hope if both of them are still alive, though Ennis doesn't know about the shirts and is too frightened to change. The only person Jack can actually change is himself...

Thread 5

prunusmume December 2 2007, 19:28:33 UTC

"Then came the brutal realization that Ennis hadn't moved any closer to him at all, sudden and crushing like getting stomped in the ring. Accelerated drinking and other men provided what comfort there was to be had, but never what he really wanted ( ... )

o2binla December 2 2007, 22:29:58 UTC

Thank you for reading and commenting! In this story, Ennis' remarks really have done Jack in on a certain level, even though I think Jack misunderstood him. But the life he's been living for 19 years is about to do him in, so it;s time for a change....

(The comment has been removed)

o2binla July 27 2011, 19:53:36 UTC

Thank you! :)

torry28 December 2 2007, 19:39:33 UTC

What I am really hoping or wishing is, that what Ennis meant by those words was."Because of the way I love you I can,t move on, I am nothing , nowhere." Ennis hated himself true, he hated what he was doing to his family but he couldn't give Jack up because Jack was his heart and soul and it was ripping him apart having to live two lives and afraid of the consequences if he did not. And when he found out Jacks been with other men it must have made him feel even worse. He was after all only a once an awhile pass time for Jack. I don't know, all I like to do is lock them up together, where they have to work things out or f**k each other to death.Jack had still everything, a wife, a steady job,money, friends, nice cloth, a new truck every year and what did Ennis have. Divorced, seldom was able to see his girls, job after job he often gave up just to be with Jack. Even if he hated himself for what he was, its understandable after all he did see what could and did happen to someone like him, and would anyone of us want to wind up that way ( ... )

o2binla December 2 2007, 22:32:20 UTC

Hi Torry, I agree that Ennis' fears weren't groundless, and I also think Jack misunderstood some of what was said because of his poor self-image. Thank you for reading!

anonymous December 2 2007, 20:10:14 UTC

I must admit I'm not much for non- J/E pairings but I want to see where this story is going. I'm assuming Jack will move on with someone else and that's fine with me, but please make it so Ennis will find someone too. I don't want him to end up alone and miserable because he does deserve some happiness or at least peace in his life as well.

Thank you

~ M ~

o2binla December 2 2007, 22:35:41 UTC

I don't think they're entirely done with each other yet! At least, neither of them will die in my story. But Jack needs to do something different b/c the thing w/Ennis has been killing him. Thank you for reading!

elena_62 December 2 2007, 22:11:04 UTC

I'm not a MovingOn!Jack (nor a MovingOn!Ennis) person, but I'll give it a try considering how well you wrote this first chapter! Thank you!

Antonella

o2binla December 2 2007, 22:40:15 UTC

Hi Antonella,
I must be trying to achieve catharsis by writing this b/c MO stories usually depress the heck out of me (though some of the best writing in this fandom is MO!Ennis, IMO). Glad to hear that you like my writing, as I tend to suffer over it. Thank you for reading, Lisa