[ILC22] Limitless Desires
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: EunHae
Genre: AU!Romance, Drama, Minor!Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own any artist.
IL/Pairing Assigner: rssj1314 & shadowcrawler12
[Challenge][Y][FF] Summary: The visible flaws restrained him, like strings strapped around his being, did he think he could never desire, to want anything. It's only when he hears the audible compliment that one by one the strings unravel, and the voice that begs to be heard is now able to escape between parted lips.
-
“Why would you like a defect like me?”
The counselor stared at the message, a note accidentally left behind by his previous patient. He had assigned a few to write out their insecurities, and was able to deduce who it was. Yet this patient seemed to take it more personally and directed onto a person.
He wondered who it was that his patient alluded to.
-
The voice recorder began rolling as the interviewer held up the device.
"Now, Lee Donghae. The animation world is in a crazed about this newcomer, landing roles that are earning popularity left and right. And all including your fans would like to know more than that's on the surface." She began politely. "Describe to us your past."
"It was... difficult."
The woman gave an awkward smile, when nothing else was said, she proceeded to ask, "When did you realize you wanted to become a voice actor?"
"It was the one thing that... wasn't wrong with me. It was what... I thought at least..."
"Until what?"
The man in question raised his head, "He said..."
His scarf purposely shifted over the center of his chest, his eyes raised slightly as he said nostalgically.
"He said... he liked my voice."
-
"Donghae!"
The said man turned around at the calling of his name, and rushed to turn around when a hand harshly grabbed his wrist.
"It's your turn next, don't you dare leave."
Did it matter? Donghae thought. He wanted to escape, with every fiber of his being, he felt wretched being here. Yet it wasn't his choice, and he knew it wasn't the woman's either.
"But..." He wanted to say.
"Hurry," She pushed him forward and he stumbled onto the ground. "You lazy ass. Just because you've been spoiled doesn't mean that you can stop working!"
The woman grabbed his hair and yanked it roughly, from the corner of his eye was he able to see a shadowed figure behind the woman.
"He's off-limits." The woman turned around, letting go of Donghae and then politely grinning. Zhou Mi, who stood at her doorway, seemed unamused. "You're well aware of that, are you not?"
"I-I am, I seem to have forgotten."
"If your memory continues to deteriorate, then we'll need a new hostess to take over your position. One who remembers the boss's orders."
The woman hid her scowl and bowed. At his half stripped appearance, Zhou Mi threw a cloak around his figure and was pulled away. He stepped outside in the frigid air and entered the car, flinching from the cold exterior of the leather seat.
"Did anyone touch you?" Zhou Mi asked during the ride. Donghae shook his head. Zhou Mi sharply turned a corner. "If you're lying, then pretend otherwise when the boss asks."
Once he arrived into the house, he waited by the door without sitting, patiently until those footsteps ceased.
"I told you to come straight to the bedroom, you don't have to wait here." Eunhyuk reminded. Donghae nodded, but they both knew it was a useless reminder.
The man then sat on the bed, gazing out the curtained window, showered, changed into fitted clothing and fed a more than decent meal.
Every time Eunhyuk called him over, it felt like a getaway from the life he led. But despite how long they've had this relationship, it still confused Donghae, that he often didn't allow him to enjoy the freedom he held briefly.
"You didn't have to sit in the dark." Eunhyuk said as he took off his shirt. Donghae shifted himself but Eunhyuk had already settled beside him, maintaining a comfortable distance between them as he slept. Donghae followed suit and laid beneath the comforters, unable to sleep as his eyes traced Eunhyuk's outline.
Eunhyuk had never once kissed him on the lips, no matter the favors his body had given into. Times when Eunhyuk wouldn't even touch him at all, but kept him by for company, just like tonight.
There were times when they lied in bed sleeping, did he want to grace his lips over the other's. But he'd be pushing boundaries he couldn't cross.
He was the only one he gave in willingly for. And if he lost Eunhyuk, then he'd lose the only thing keeping him stable.
-
In the late afternoon Donghae stood in front of the mirror, his throat tightening as he parted the cover he held over him, enough to reveal his chest.
In his reflection, there was a gaping sunken appearance in his chest. He flinched at his own sight.
It seemed despite his concave chest, his deformity only attracted more customers who were oddly fascinated by it. It made him wince the soiled hands that touched it, a strange fetish he unknowingly encouraged. And his popularity, while not one of the best, continued to earn constant money for the business.
From the corner of his eye did he see Eunhyuk standing behind him, he wasn't sure how long he had been there.
"If you don't want to see the mirror,"
Donghae flinched at the banging sound, opening his eyes to see Eunhyuk's fist withdraw from the shattered mirror, each of the pieces falling to the ground.
"Then it's gone."
Donghae stepped away from it and fell back onto the bed, looking back as Eunhyuk easily wiped the blood from his hand as if nothing happened, and then out of the bedroom.
"If you had told me you had company-"
"What's it to you if I have someone over." Eunhyuk barked back.
Siwon continued to eye Donghae who stood a good distance away from him, decided he'd be better off in the bedroom. And as Siwon approached him, he clutched his bed-sheet, "This is-"
"You don't want to lose another finger." Eunhyuk warned. Siwon instantly backed off.
Donghae's gaze followed him.
It was strange their circumstances now.
He barely recalled meeting Eunhyuk, the hostess' boss who only visited once in a while. He remembered though how most of the others wanted his attention, while Donghae simply wanted to leave, wanting nothing to do with anyone.
With a harsh jerk and surrounded by taunting, he collapsed onto the ground, alcohol and ice falling onto his skin. At the contact, his voice escaped his bruised lips.
He made eye contact with the man who watched him from a distance, who then turned his head. It was clear that he had been rejected, and soon after as another customer pulled him away, his memory of him soon faded.
Yet that one day as he cowered in a jail cell, caught in a frenzy of a raid. Without money or contacts, he hopelessly waited to be charged properly when the first string was pulled. His bail was posted, and he turned to see Zhou Mi there.
"Don't thank me." He ordered before Donghae could part his lips. "Do you want to meet the man who did?"
Donghae blinked as Zhou Mi continued, his tone was calm and relaxed. "I can return you home if you want. It's your choice."
Donghae decided he didn't want to go back, and only hoped he made the right decision as he nodded his head and entered the car.
The moment he stood in the room, he realized this owner owned the entire floor of the building. It was then from the shadows did a man walk in.
Eunhyuk was the first one to look into his eyes foremost, before studying his appearance.
"Your skin is far from perfect." Eunhyuk evaluated, encircling him. "Honestly, quite thin for my taste."
He then faced him and stated. "There's too many flaws that I see alone, that it almost makes me want to return you."
Donghae was unaffected by his words, in truth, it wasn't the worst he had heard about himself. And was surprised that Eunhyuk had yet to point out his chest.
Before Eunhyuk followed through, Donghae bowed his head. With great difficulty, he was finally able to say, "Thank... you..."
Donghae was then forced to raise his head, a finger holding his chin.
"I like your voice." Eunhyuk said. He studied him for a while longer, and gave a defeated sigh. "Would you mind giving up a thousand men to be with one?"
When he received no answer, he said disapprovingly, "Cold-hearted... Can't even give a proper answer."
He soon learned Eunhyuk wasn't a man who took risks. Donghae, if he agreed, had to be checked through a battery of tests. Eunhyuk didn't touch him, and instead allowed him to sleep on the bed. Donghae was once again surprised, assuming he'd be forced to sleep on the ground or the outside furniture. Sleeping in the man's own bed was profound to him.
The tests were negative, his blood work clean. He didn't reject as he sat on the bed as Eunhyuk stripped off his shirt. He didn't grimace at his touch.
He was indebted to him, and he owed his payment.
That was how it started at least.
-
He almost wished he could stay forever in this place, but he didn't dare to ask or hope for it. Eunhyuk often had to leave town, and living alone in his home was a risk too great. Unfortunately, his lowest risk was to return to the place he loathed most.
The night before he had to return, he settled on the seat by the balcony's window, an outlook to the urban city.
Eunhyuk sat beside him and offered a small, wrapped box. At his muted question, Eunhyuk replied. "You've never mentioned a birthday. And you're one of the few who don't want anything from me."
Donghae unwrapped the gift, surprised to see a small music player in his hand, portable enough to be unseen. He realized inside was every song he liked from Eunhyuk's collection.
"If you like it, you should say so." Eunhyuk taunted casually, Donghae scooted and nestled by his shoulder. Eunhyuk narrowed his eyes. "I don't fall for puppy eyes."
Donghae shifted and winced, he felt Eunhyuk's hand reach around his back, gently holding him in place. "Does your back hurt again?"
He shook his head, Eunhyuk scoffed. "If it hurts, say so."
Donghae laid his head on his shoulder. It was rare when he experienced this type of behavior, and didn't mind.
"Do you know what the gift is for?"
Donghae heard his almost inaudible reply and seemed confused. "You're... lonely?"
Eunhyuk smiled as he heard his voice, his caressing hands reaching further down. The bed dipped, Eunhyuk towered over him on either side, his lips tracing his collarbone.
"Aren't you the same?"
-
He felt their intimate acts only reached the surface of what Eunhyuk wanted.
Each time his voice broke through, it fueled Eunhyuk.
Through the lustful compliments of his voice, Donghae felt there was something more in his words, a desire that demanded to be satisfied.
-
Early in the dark hours in the backseat of the vehicle, Donghae attempted to reach for his hands, but the woman had already knocked on the door, and he withdrew them before Eunhyuk could notice.
Once the car was out of sight, the woman lost her feigned smile and returned him to work.
Every threat, every bit of cash, nothing made her stop. It was obvious to most who Donghae belonged to in the business, but the name that would thwart off most meant nothing to her.
It was difficult to stop it, Eunhyuk couldn't be around daily, and often had to leave for distant trips. And he did nothing as she pushed him into the arms of another customer.
His silence was his own worst enemy. He never tattled on the hostess, or begged for her to stop, not that she would listen. He went along with it, his attitude careless.
Yet even with him, there was a limit.
The customer shoved him onto the floors, his body bruised, sore. The customer enjoyed pain. In the scuffle, Donghae widened his eyes when he realized the very item the customer was holding in the midst of the act. The object then fell to the floors before his eyes.
The man stomped on the music player, destroying it.
Donghae was forced a disgusted kiss from the man's gruesome lips, he screamed internally, he didn't want this.
He could only stare at the broken music player, with all the strength he had, he pushed the man off and ran. Not caring of the voices after him, the world was silent as he was for that moment.
He continued running outside, the frigid air unbearable to his unprotected skin, but still he forced his way.
Hours passed and he stood in front of the building. From a good distance away however, did Donghae see the group of men walk down the steps. A few that noted and cringed at his appearance, assuming the worst.
He couldn't be seen this way. No one would reach out to him. Eunhyuk would be like before, and turn away at the sight of him. Just like before. Just as everyone else had.
He felt the snow embrace his body, covering over him, erasing him slowly.
There was always a limit. One he shouldn't crossed.
-
He woke up and stirred awake, and his eyes fell on the broken mirror of the room. He sat up groggily, his body almost unable to follow the simple command.
"You enjoy making me worry." Eunhyuk entered the room and sat beside him. Eunhyuk had outstretched his hand towards the bruise on his cheek.
Before he could touch his skin, Donghae flinched away from his hand.
Eunhyuk lowered his hand, "Right... It hurts doesn't it?"
Donghae felt his chest tighten as Eunhyuk pulled away, keeping a considerable distance between them.
No. He didn't want that.
The older man looked back to see as Donghae clutched the edge of his shirt, stopping him from leaving.
Eunhyuk tugged the shirt from his grip. Donghae thought the worst when instead, the older walked around to the other side, his back to the balcony. The pair of hands cradled his cheeks, forcing him to see the man outlined by the dim lights of the city.
"You have to tell me what you want, you have to tell me when you're afraid, when you're hurt."
Donghae felt him move closer.
"I can't always know what you're thinking." Eunhyuk said.
Always since he was caught in the wrath of the business. Donghae made his own skin crawl. His physical deformity, his appearance, it was a disgusting sight to behold every time he glanced at the mirror.
Eunhyuk held a hand over his concave chest still remained, unfazed by it.
The gaping hole by his heart, was slowly being filled.
-
"I don't want to go back." Donghae murmured.
Eunhyuk said nothing and kept him close by, Donghae cringed, he wanted to plead but his voice left him yet again. In the run of the highway, he stared at the tempting lights outside.
As if knowing his thoughts, Eunhyuk's hand tightened around his wrist, keeping him from acting on his desperate wish.
The windows rolled down and Donghae hid his face, he couldn't break Eunhyuk's hold on him.
The hostess greeted him from the window of the backseat, unable to see Donghae's face from the shadows. "I'm afraid to say your favorite left off. He's always pulling stunts like this."
Eunhyuk gave a thin smile. "You may want to run, the police will be coming very shortly."
The hostess widened her eyes as Eunhyuk explained. "I may have given the officers a tip."
"B-but this is your establishment."
Eunhyuk laughed. "I wash my hands of this place years ago. The papers only have you as the owner. Weren't you aware?"
The windows rolled up on the woman's shocked face. The car took off, and only stopped a short distance away. Donghae soon heard the sounds of blaring sirens.
"I didn't do this all for you... That woman was driving my business to the ground, it was easier to rid my hands of it."
Despite his cold answer, Eunhyuk looked down to see Donghae grab his hands.
"You shouldn't be so harsh," Zhou Mi said from the driver's seat. "Donghae, the boss is just being a prick as always."
Donghae smiled. He wanted to thank him. But still he had no nerve to kiss him, despite how much he wanted to, and simply wished he could.
-
To this day, he was selectively mute.
Sent from therapist to therapist, until one understood his mindset, but still it was a difficult task to gain the man's trust, to allow him to speak freely. He needed practice.
Donghae watched the movies and found himself speaking the words they said, evoking his own emotion, much like practicing how to speak.
And while he could repeat the words effortlessly, using his own dialogue was quite difficult even now. But his talent for changing his voice and altering it accordingly opened up a new pathway for him, one that dealt away with his past. One that could look beyond his physical appearance and take what he could give almost endlessly.
Becoming a voice actor was never a consideration for him, but during his interviews and test outs, it seemed to work quite well. A career accepted by his partner, who seemed relieved that Donghae was establishing an identity, one he took pride in.
He stood outside, waiting as he finished the rather short interview. Basked in the afternoon light, he felt his phone vibrate and checked the message left by his manager.
The car honked and Donghae hurried over, surprised at the man at the wheel and promptly entered the passenger side.
"What's wrong?" Eunhyuk asked.
Donghae showed him the text, "You passed the audition, got the lead role."
"I told you." Eunhyuk scolded lightly. "Your voice is addicting to listen to."
The car sped off. "Zhou Mi told me your therapy session ended shorter than usual yesterday." Donghae gave a solemn look as Eunhyuk continued. "Don't be afraid to talk."
He tried, he mouthed.
"Try harder, your fans already agree with me. Everyone who listens to that voice wants you."
Donghae tilted his head, replaying the statement as they waited at a red light. "You...want me?"
Eunhyuk laughed at his direct question. "Obviously. Or I was being subtle all these years?"
It appeared Donghae had another question, and posed it.
"If I asked you to kiss me... Would you say no?"
"Is that what you want?" Eunhyuk asked, his tone calm.
Donghae neither nodded or denied it. And instead voiced a firm "Yes."
Unlike Donghae, Eunhyuk held no hesitance as he reached over the center console of the car and captured his lips. Eunhyuk's other hand graced over his chest, the touch no longer made Donghae wince as it once did.
It was then he realized that Eunhyuk wanted him to initiate, to state what he wanted. At least now, he was gaining that bit of courage to speak, to ask for what he always yearned for.
Most wouldn't assume his past with his innocent face.
Most wouldn't think a renowned voice actor fell for one of the most prominent bosses of the underground mafia.
Truth be told, Donghae thought as he savored the taste of his lips, it was to safe to say. The ignorant world knew nothing.
☆ rssj1314's EunHae ☆
- ILC21 [ Eunhyuk/Henry] ☆ ILC23 [ Kibum/Sungmin] -
-
A/N: I need to break Eunhyuk into a different character, I guess his image from SuJu T: Goong won't ever leave me .-. Nevertheless, two more ILCs and we're done! ^^
Donghae's physical trait is called "Pectus excavatum." I learned about it when I learned that one of my favorite actors, Oguri Shun (Ryo from Hana Yori Dango,) had the trait. I honestly never noticed, but it appears to alter according to person from how noticeable it can be. Oguri Shun is still awesome to me nonetheless ^^
Cross posted at hyukhae-oxygen ^^
Pairing: EunHae
Genre: AU!Romance, Drama, Minor!Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own any artist.
IL/Pairing Assigner: rssj1314 & shadowcrawler12
[Challenge][Y][FF] Summary: The visible flaws restrained him, like strings strapped around his being, did he think he could never desire, to want anything. It's only when he hears the audible compliment that one by one the strings unravel, and the voice that begs to be heard is now able to escape between parted lips.
-
“Why would you like a defect like me?”
The counselor stared at the message, a note accidentally left behind by his previous patient. He had assigned a few to write out their insecurities, and was able to deduce who it was. Yet this patient seemed to take it more personally and directed onto a person.
He wondered who it was that his patient alluded to.
-
The voice recorder began rolling as the interviewer held up the device.
"Now, Lee Donghae. The animation world is in a crazed about this newcomer, landing roles that are earning popularity left and right. And all including your fans would like to know more than that's on the surface." She began politely. "Describe to us your past."
"It was... difficult."
The woman gave an awkward smile, when nothing else was said, she proceeded to ask, "When did you realize you wanted to become a voice actor?"
"It was the one thing that... wasn't wrong with me. It was what... I thought at least..."
"Until what?"
The man in question raised his head, "He said..."
His scarf purposely shifted over the center of his chest, his eyes raised slightly as he said nostalgically.
"He said... he liked my voice."
-
"Donghae!"
The said man turned around at the calling of his name, and rushed to turn around when a hand harshly grabbed his wrist.
"It's your turn next, don't you dare leave."
Did it matter? Donghae thought. He wanted to escape, with every fiber of his being, he felt wretched being here. Yet it wasn't his choice, and he knew it wasn't the woman's either.
"But..." He wanted to say.
"Hurry," She pushed him forward and he stumbled onto the ground. "You lazy ass. Just because you've been spoiled doesn't mean that you can stop working!"
The woman grabbed his hair and yanked it roughly, from the corner of his eye was he able to see a shadowed figure behind the woman.
"He's off-limits." The woman turned around, letting go of Donghae and then politely grinning. Zhou Mi, who stood at her doorway, seemed unamused. "You're well aware of that, are you not?"
"I-I am, I seem to have forgotten."
"If your memory continues to deteriorate, then we'll need a new hostess to take over your position. One who remembers the boss's orders."
The woman hid her scowl and bowed. At his half stripped appearance, Zhou Mi threw a cloak around his figure and was pulled away. He stepped outside in the frigid air and entered the car, flinching from the cold exterior of the leather seat.
"Did anyone touch you?" Zhou Mi asked during the ride. Donghae shook his head. Zhou Mi sharply turned a corner. "If you're lying, then pretend otherwise when the boss asks."
Once he arrived into the house, he waited by the door without sitting, patiently until those footsteps ceased.
"I told you to come straight to the bedroom, you don't have to wait here." Eunhyuk reminded. Donghae nodded, but they both knew it was a useless reminder.
The man then sat on the bed, gazing out the curtained window, showered, changed into fitted clothing and fed a more than decent meal.
Every time Eunhyuk called him over, it felt like a getaway from the life he led. But despite how long they've had this relationship, it still confused Donghae, that he often didn't allow him to enjoy the freedom he held briefly.
"You didn't have to sit in the dark." Eunhyuk said as he took off his shirt. Donghae shifted himself but Eunhyuk had already settled beside him, maintaining a comfortable distance between them as he slept. Donghae followed suit and laid beneath the comforters, unable to sleep as his eyes traced Eunhyuk's outline.
Eunhyuk had never once kissed him on the lips, no matter the favors his body had given into. Times when Eunhyuk wouldn't even touch him at all, but kept him by for company, just like tonight.
There were times when they lied in bed sleeping, did he want to grace his lips over the other's. But he'd be pushing boundaries he couldn't cross.
He was the only one he gave in willingly for. And if he lost Eunhyuk, then he'd lose the only thing keeping him stable.
-
In the late afternoon Donghae stood in front of the mirror, his throat tightening as he parted the cover he held over him, enough to reveal his chest.
In his reflection, there was a gaping sunken appearance in his chest. He flinched at his own sight.
It seemed despite his concave chest, his deformity only attracted more customers who were oddly fascinated by it. It made him wince the soiled hands that touched it, a strange fetish he unknowingly encouraged. And his popularity, while not one of the best, continued to earn constant money for the business.
From the corner of his eye did he see Eunhyuk standing behind him, he wasn't sure how long he had been there.
"If you don't want to see the mirror,"
Donghae flinched at the banging sound, opening his eyes to see Eunhyuk's fist withdraw from the shattered mirror, each of the pieces falling to the ground.
"Then it's gone."
Donghae stepped away from it and fell back onto the bed, looking back as Eunhyuk easily wiped the blood from his hand as if nothing happened, and then out of the bedroom.
"If you had told me you had company-"
"What's it to you if I have someone over." Eunhyuk barked back.
Siwon continued to eye Donghae who stood a good distance away from him, decided he'd be better off in the bedroom. And as Siwon approached him, he clutched his bed-sheet, "This is-"
"You don't want to lose another finger." Eunhyuk warned. Siwon instantly backed off.
Donghae's gaze followed him.
It was strange their circumstances now.
He barely recalled meeting Eunhyuk, the hostess' boss who only visited once in a while. He remembered though how most of the others wanted his attention, while Donghae simply wanted to leave, wanting nothing to do with anyone.
With a harsh jerk and surrounded by taunting, he collapsed onto the ground, alcohol and ice falling onto his skin. At the contact, his voice escaped his bruised lips.
He made eye contact with the man who watched him from a distance, who then turned his head. It was clear that he had been rejected, and soon after as another customer pulled him away, his memory of him soon faded.
Yet that one day as he cowered in a jail cell, caught in a frenzy of a raid. Without money or contacts, he hopelessly waited to be charged properly when the first string was pulled. His bail was posted, and he turned to see Zhou Mi there.
"Don't thank me." He ordered before Donghae could part his lips. "Do you want to meet the man who did?"
Donghae blinked as Zhou Mi continued, his tone was calm and relaxed. "I can return you home if you want. It's your choice."
Donghae decided he didn't want to go back, and only hoped he made the right decision as he nodded his head and entered the car.
The moment he stood in the room, he realized this owner owned the entire floor of the building. It was then from the shadows did a man walk in.
Eunhyuk was the first one to look into his eyes foremost, before studying his appearance.
"Your skin is far from perfect." Eunhyuk evaluated, encircling him. "Honestly, quite thin for my taste."
He then faced him and stated. "There's too many flaws that I see alone, that it almost makes me want to return you."
Donghae was unaffected by his words, in truth, it wasn't the worst he had heard about himself. And was surprised that Eunhyuk had yet to point out his chest.
Before Eunhyuk followed through, Donghae bowed his head. With great difficulty, he was finally able to say, "Thank... you..."
Donghae was then forced to raise his head, a finger holding his chin.
"I like your voice." Eunhyuk said. He studied him for a while longer, and gave a defeated sigh. "Would you mind giving up a thousand men to be with one?"
When he received no answer, he said disapprovingly, "Cold-hearted... Can't even give a proper answer."
He soon learned Eunhyuk wasn't a man who took risks. Donghae, if he agreed, had to be checked through a battery of tests. Eunhyuk didn't touch him, and instead allowed him to sleep on the bed. Donghae was once again surprised, assuming he'd be forced to sleep on the ground or the outside furniture. Sleeping in the man's own bed was profound to him.
The tests were negative, his blood work clean. He didn't reject as he sat on the bed as Eunhyuk stripped off his shirt. He didn't grimace at his touch.
He was indebted to him, and he owed his payment.
That was how it started at least.
-
He almost wished he could stay forever in this place, but he didn't dare to ask or hope for it. Eunhyuk often had to leave town, and living alone in his home was a risk too great. Unfortunately, his lowest risk was to return to the place he loathed most.
The night before he had to return, he settled on the seat by the balcony's window, an outlook to the urban city.
Eunhyuk sat beside him and offered a small, wrapped box. At his muted question, Eunhyuk replied. "You've never mentioned a birthday. And you're one of the few who don't want anything from me."
Donghae unwrapped the gift, surprised to see a small music player in his hand, portable enough to be unseen. He realized inside was every song he liked from Eunhyuk's collection.
"If you like it, you should say so." Eunhyuk taunted casually, Donghae scooted and nestled by his shoulder. Eunhyuk narrowed his eyes. "I don't fall for puppy eyes."
Donghae shifted and winced, he felt Eunhyuk's hand reach around his back, gently holding him in place. "Does your back hurt again?"
He shook his head, Eunhyuk scoffed. "If it hurts, say so."
Donghae laid his head on his shoulder. It was rare when he experienced this type of behavior, and didn't mind.
"Do you know what the gift is for?"
Donghae heard his almost inaudible reply and seemed confused. "You're... lonely?"
Eunhyuk smiled as he heard his voice, his caressing hands reaching further down. The bed dipped, Eunhyuk towered over him on either side, his lips tracing his collarbone.
"Aren't you the same?"
-
He felt their intimate acts only reached the surface of what Eunhyuk wanted.
Each time his voice broke through, it fueled Eunhyuk.
Through the lustful compliments of his voice, Donghae felt there was something more in his words, a desire that demanded to be satisfied.
-
Early in the dark hours in the backseat of the vehicle, Donghae attempted to reach for his hands, but the woman had already knocked on the door, and he withdrew them before Eunhyuk could notice.
Once the car was out of sight, the woman lost her feigned smile and returned him to work.
Every threat, every bit of cash, nothing made her stop. It was obvious to most who Donghae belonged to in the business, but the name that would thwart off most meant nothing to her.
It was difficult to stop it, Eunhyuk couldn't be around daily, and often had to leave for distant trips. And he did nothing as she pushed him into the arms of another customer.
His silence was his own worst enemy. He never tattled on the hostess, or begged for her to stop, not that she would listen. He went along with it, his attitude careless.
Yet even with him, there was a limit.
The customer shoved him onto the floors, his body bruised, sore. The customer enjoyed pain. In the scuffle, Donghae widened his eyes when he realized the very item the customer was holding in the midst of the act. The object then fell to the floors before his eyes.
The man stomped on the music player, destroying it.
Donghae was forced a disgusted kiss from the man's gruesome lips, he screamed internally, he didn't want this.
He could only stare at the broken music player, with all the strength he had, he pushed the man off and ran. Not caring of the voices after him, the world was silent as he was for that moment.
He continued running outside, the frigid air unbearable to his unprotected skin, but still he forced his way.
Hours passed and he stood in front of the building. From a good distance away however, did Donghae see the group of men walk down the steps. A few that noted and cringed at his appearance, assuming the worst.
He couldn't be seen this way. No one would reach out to him. Eunhyuk would be like before, and turn away at the sight of him. Just like before. Just as everyone else had.
He felt the snow embrace his body, covering over him, erasing him slowly.
There was always a limit. One he shouldn't crossed.
-
He woke up and stirred awake, and his eyes fell on the broken mirror of the room. He sat up groggily, his body almost unable to follow the simple command.
"You enjoy making me worry." Eunhyuk entered the room and sat beside him. Eunhyuk had outstretched his hand towards the bruise on his cheek.
Before he could touch his skin, Donghae flinched away from his hand.
Eunhyuk lowered his hand, "Right... It hurts doesn't it?"
Donghae felt his chest tighten as Eunhyuk pulled away, keeping a considerable distance between them.
No. He didn't want that.
The older man looked back to see as Donghae clutched the edge of his shirt, stopping him from leaving.
Eunhyuk tugged the shirt from his grip. Donghae thought the worst when instead, the older walked around to the other side, his back to the balcony. The pair of hands cradled his cheeks, forcing him to see the man outlined by the dim lights of the city.
"You have to tell me what you want, you have to tell me when you're afraid, when you're hurt."
Donghae felt him move closer.
"I can't always know what you're thinking." Eunhyuk said.
Always since he was caught in the wrath of the business. Donghae made his own skin crawl. His physical deformity, his appearance, it was a disgusting sight to behold every time he glanced at the mirror.
Eunhyuk held a hand over his concave chest still remained, unfazed by it.
The gaping hole by his heart, was slowly being filled.
-
"I don't want to go back." Donghae murmured.
Eunhyuk said nothing and kept him close by, Donghae cringed, he wanted to plead but his voice left him yet again. In the run of the highway, he stared at the tempting lights outside.
As if knowing his thoughts, Eunhyuk's hand tightened around his wrist, keeping him from acting on his desperate wish.
The windows rolled down and Donghae hid his face, he couldn't break Eunhyuk's hold on him.
The hostess greeted him from the window of the backseat, unable to see Donghae's face from the shadows. "I'm afraid to say your favorite left off. He's always pulling stunts like this."
Eunhyuk gave a thin smile. "You may want to run, the police will be coming very shortly."
The hostess widened her eyes as Eunhyuk explained. "I may have given the officers a tip."
"B-but this is your establishment."
Eunhyuk laughed. "I wash my hands of this place years ago. The papers only have you as the owner. Weren't you aware?"
The windows rolled up on the woman's shocked face. The car took off, and only stopped a short distance away. Donghae soon heard the sounds of blaring sirens.
"I didn't do this all for you... That woman was driving my business to the ground, it was easier to rid my hands of it."
Despite his cold answer, Eunhyuk looked down to see Donghae grab his hands.
"You shouldn't be so harsh," Zhou Mi said from the driver's seat. "Donghae, the boss is just being a prick as always."
Donghae smiled. He wanted to thank him. But still he had no nerve to kiss him, despite how much he wanted to, and simply wished he could.
-
To this day, he was selectively mute.
Sent from therapist to therapist, until one understood his mindset, but still it was a difficult task to gain the man's trust, to allow him to speak freely. He needed practice.
Donghae watched the movies and found himself speaking the words they said, evoking his own emotion, much like practicing how to speak.
And while he could repeat the words effortlessly, using his own dialogue was quite difficult even now. But his talent for changing his voice and altering it accordingly opened up a new pathway for him, one that dealt away with his past. One that could look beyond his physical appearance and take what he could give almost endlessly.
Becoming a voice actor was never a consideration for him, but during his interviews and test outs, it seemed to work quite well. A career accepted by his partner, who seemed relieved that Donghae was establishing an identity, one he took pride in.
He stood outside, waiting as he finished the rather short interview. Basked in the afternoon light, he felt his phone vibrate and checked the message left by his manager.
The car honked and Donghae hurried over, surprised at the man at the wheel and promptly entered the passenger side.
"What's wrong?" Eunhyuk asked.
Donghae showed him the text, "You passed the audition, got the lead role."
"I told you." Eunhyuk scolded lightly. "Your voice is addicting to listen to."
The car sped off. "Zhou Mi told me your therapy session ended shorter than usual yesterday." Donghae gave a solemn look as Eunhyuk continued. "Don't be afraid to talk."
He tried, he mouthed.
"Try harder, your fans already agree with me. Everyone who listens to that voice wants you."
Donghae tilted his head, replaying the statement as they waited at a red light. "You...want me?"
Eunhyuk laughed at his direct question. "Obviously. Or I was being subtle all these years?"
It appeared Donghae had another question, and posed it.
"If I asked you to kiss me... Would you say no?"
"Is that what you want?" Eunhyuk asked, his tone calm.
Donghae neither nodded or denied it. And instead voiced a firm "Yes."
Unlike Donghae, Eunhyuk held no hesitance as he reached over the center console of the car and captured his lips. Eunhyuk's other hand graced over his chest, the touch no longer made Donghae wince as it once did.
It was then he realized that Eunhyuk wanted him to initiate, to state what he wanted. At least now, he was gaining that bit of courage to speak, to ask for what he always yearned for.
Most wouldn't assume his past with his innocent face.
Most wouldn't think a renowned voice actor fell for one of the most prominent bosses of the underground mafia.
Truth be told, Donghae thought as he savored the taste of his lips, it was to safe to say. The ignorant world knew nothing.
☆ rssj1314's EunHae ☆
- ILC21 [ Eunhyuk/Henry] ☆ ILC23 [ Kibum/Sungmin] -
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A/N: I need to break Eunhyuk into a different character, I guess his image from SuJu T: Goong won't ever leave me .-. Nevertheless, two more ILCs and we're done! ^^
Donghae's physical trait is called "Pectus excavatum." I learned about it when I learned that one of my favorite actors, Oguri Shun (Ryo from Hana Yori Dango,) had the trait. I honestly never noticed, but it appears to alter according to person from how noticeable it can be. Oguri Shun is still awesome to me nonetheless ^^
Cross posted at hyukhae-oxygen ^^