[A small cry of shock can be heard.]
I-it zapped me! That's the first time it's done that; clearly, I have not been fulfilling the scientists' arbitrary communication requirements. There's not much to say, in all honesty. I know there's been...dangerous events occurring lately, but I'm quite content to stay here
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You could try for a job in the soup kitchen? But... ahhh, it's not my place to hire people there..
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I know it's only open for a few hours a day, but considering how many people keep arriving here, we could certainly use more help than less, eh?
Besides, it helps to keep busy in a place like this.
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