so my great uncle artie died.  he wasn't really a bad guy, just not the nicest of old people.  to be honest i'm not even totally sure how i'm related to him.  i know he's my dad's uncle but i don't how or if its even him or his wife that is the actual blood relative.  i was never really that close to most of my dad's extended family.  of course i ( Read more... )

last night i couldn't sleep and when i did finally sleep i had terrible terrible nightmares.  the kinds of nightmares that you can't wake yourself out of no matter how hard you try.  i woke up today feeling restless but also terribly tired.  i haven't had dreams that terrible probably in years.  literally years.  it was actually really scary.  but ( Read more... )

i love my friends ( Read more... )

i realized today that my break is halfway over and i have a lot more work to do.  time just screams by me i feel.  it's the one thing i really have no control over and that just makes me feel hopeless at times.  because as much fun as i will ever be having at one particular time, the day will always end.  of course a new one will begin tomorrow but ( Read more... )

not sleepy.  i'm feeling sorta icky but i know that it's mostly just the fact that i'm awake and alone at almost 3 am in january.  i had a pretty good day actually.  i did GREAT in my exercise class.  i'm definetly noticing that it's been getting easier for me.  and of course that's pretty cool.  but i dunno, i its a fleeting feeling.  a couple ( Read more... )

so it's almost the end of the first day of the year and there's a lot to go over.  what can i say about 2006...  alright, here goes.

i feel like i have truly grown this year emotionally.  i do, i really honestly do.  each day i feel like i am trust myself a bit more.  and i know i have trouble saying this because i demean myself so much but i am ( Read more... )

alright ( Read more... )

1st rejection letter in the mail today. upenn can kiss my ass. i guess i'm upset about it, but i knew it was coming i guess. but i've got other schools, it's not the only one i applied to. so yeah, i guess i'm not totally falling apart or anything but still it's disheartening. somebody doesn't want me. oh well ( Read more... )

i'm in love. and it's with a boy. his name is oxy. and he's 11 weeks old. oh, and he's a kitten. i should probably mention that too. right now he is sleeping on my lap. seriously, he is so awesome. and he learns really fast too. i love teaching animals different tricks and commands. its so rewarding. oh man, he just opened his eyes and ( Read more... )

how is it that always, always when i am feeling down or just not right for some reason i find some song. and in that song i find the peace again. a calm washes over me and i am no longer sad or anxious or whatever it may be that i am feeling negatively ( Read more... )