be calm, be calm, i know you feel like you are breaking down

[notemily]

 A lot of background anxiety coming up the past few days. Images in my mind, nausea, abandonment, the things I love turning against me like that dumb clown jack-in-the-box in Prisoner of Azkaban (movie). the moment it turns scary, which doesn't take very long at all actually. a feeling that I am being chased.

I think it is because I am making

Comments

[zatzbatz]

you should go away somewhere. pack your boyfriend and like, go to chicago and stay in a hotel and eat a fancy dinner or something. change of venue recharges the batteries. hotel on hotwire is cheap.

[notemily]

hee. pack my boyfriend.

a lot of my anxiety right now is from school. I think it might be better abated by me doing homework than by me taking a vacation and spending money I don't have. we went to chicago for ALA in july and that was awesome but when I came back my unfinished assignments were still hanging over my head.

I am going to New York for spring break though, thanks to my mom's generosity and a rescheduled ticket from a trip that didn't happen. looking forward to that.