be calm, be calm, i know you feel like you are breaking down
A lot of background anxiety coming up the past few days. Images in my mind, nausea, abandonment, the things I love turning against me like that dumb clown jack-in-the-box in Prisoner of Azkaban (movie). the moment it turns scary, which doesn't take very long at all actually. a feeling that I am being chased.
I think it is because I am making changes. Breaking down walls one crumbling brick at a time. It's bound to bring anxiety, as change does. so I hope I can stay with it instead of shutting down and withdrawing into myself. keep stepping forward or at least staying on the stepping stone I am on, though the water rages around me.
remember my toolbox for dealing with anxiety: deep breathing. tea. meditation. exercise. taking a walk. letting it in, inviting it for tea. remembering that it doesn't last forever. letting myself be anxious. remembering that anxiety lies. the world seems so small and tight around me and my fears. but it's a big world out there, big as I remember it.
I remember when I first saw Lord of the Rings and I felt like I could do anything because if Frodo and Sam could make it to Mordor, who was I to let smaller obstacles hold me back? actually, who are you not to be? your playing small doesn't serve the world.
writing. writing's good for anxiety.
the universe gives you a smack down when you try to change. it's the way it is. doesn't mean we should let it stop us.
I think it is because I am making changes. Breaking down walls one crumbling brick at a time. It's bound to bring anxiety, as change does. so I hope I can stay with it instead of shutting down and withdrawing into myself. keep stepping forward or at least staying on the stepping stone I am on, though the water rages around me.
remember my toolbox for dealing with anxiety: deep breathing. tea. meditation. exercise. taking a walk. letting it in, inviting it for tea. remembering that it doesn't last forever. letting myself be anxious. remembering that anxiety lies. the world seems so small and tight around me and my fears. but it's a big world out there, big as I remember it.
I remember when I first saw Lord of the Rings and I felt like I could do anything because if Frodo and Sam could make it to Mordor, who was I to let smaller obstacles hold me back? actually, who are you not to be? your playing small doesn't serve the world.
writing. writing's good for anxiety.
the universe gives you a smack down when you try to change. it's the way it is. doesn't mean we should let it stop us.