[007] We must not look at goblin men, we must not buy their fruits...

[notafuckingnut]

[Video]

[Snuffle snuffle. There's a people-sized Thing covered in fur and blue skin and tusks and wearing an almost comical pair of glasses sniffing at the communicator. It pauses for a moment to prod at it with an oversized claw, then, when it beeps in protest, backs up and kind of hisses at it, showing off rows of shark teeth in the process.

Meet

Comments

[Video]

[no_fastolfe]

[A hag of some age and disrepair peers back out of the communicator. Why, it's the witch of the west woods, Rathlina]

How came a goblin all alone,
To find a piece of seeing stone?
And what fiendish pixie, elf or gnome
Left one inside Rathlina's home?

[Video]

[notafuckingnut]

[OH. Well he wasn't expecting that. He blinks in almost comical fashion then leans back in to peer at it better. ...Yeah, the glasses really aren't helping with anything as much as he evidently thought they would.]

I found it. You can't have it.

[Video]

[no_fastolfe]

One I have and one enough
But why do you want it, you ball of fluff?

[Video]

[notafuckingnut]

Shiny and glittering. What business of yours?

spam

[dovehearted]

[It's not singing - you don't alert a creature you're waiting for to your presence - more like a quiet, patient, almost unconscious hum, the kind of tune your mind composes when you're waiting.

And she's been waiting, watching for something like Rukz. She's had good luck with them in the past: they keep her around to eat later, to fatten up, but it never works, she's smart enough, and she's usually safe as their "food" until she can escape and Step-mama's servants take her back with stories about how they'd lost her and. And then the next week: "let's go to the forest, Lua", and she's abandoned again. She's surprised they haven't just killed her by now. They might really think she's as foolish as she looks, to keep believing them, but she's not going to let them win by letting on.

Her eyes brighten when she sees the creature coming near.]

spam

[notafuckingnut]

[Sneaking, sneaking...He's SUCH an expert sneak-er, there is no possible way anyone could ever be on to him. He is a NINJA goblin...or he would be if he knew what a ninja was. He spots the girl, and tries not to slobber. She's small, and doesn't look particularly well cared-for, but he can fix that, he's very good at taking care of maidens. Giving them the best eatable bits and glittery things, keeping them warm at night, even letting them tug his fur and ears if they want. ...until he's ready to eat them, anyway.

He only occasionally breaks them before then. And even then he feels really bad about it afterwards.

Rukz drops down low and scuttles the rest of the way, then leaps out of the bushes and directly into her path with all the subtlety of an evil wizard's laugh. He bears all his teeth in what he probably thinks is a friendly grin and drops onto his haunches, fixing her with a myopic stare, claws curled under his front paws for comfort.]

Hello, little girl. What are you doing here in the woods, all by yourself?

spam

[dovehearted]

[She can't help but jump herself a little at him jumping out in front of her, but the quiet shriek is more for his benefit than real fear. Instead of running, she stands there very still and stares past him, like she's looking for a way to get around him.

She hasn't seen this one before; she'd recognize the glasses. That means he doesn't know her trick yet.]

I... I'm lost.

spam

[notafuckingnut]

[Ooh, shrieking. Music to his long, twitching ears. He grins wider.]

You look lost.

[He inches closer to take a snuffling sniff]

You smell lost.

[...Okay, maybe she doesn't. He's not really sure what "lost" smells like. But she smells delicious...? That's close enough.]

I'm good at finding. I can help.

[He's already found her. Problem solved! See? He's really good at this.

...No-one ever claimed he was an exceptionally smart goblin.]

[Spam]

[notafuckingnut]

[Rabbits were tasty, and owls were...eh, not so much. All skin and bones with barely any meat; sneeze and you're finished. But neither of them were the object of his interest right now.

No, the human notes were the ones Rukz was more interested in, the ones that drew him in like a shark to chum. He crept closer, and if his approach was none too quiet or careful...well. She wasn't paying close attention anyway. He licked his lips and inched even closer, brushing the branches aside as he made his way into the clearing. Birds quieted, rabbits froze and darted for cover, and the goblin finally stopped a couple feet away from the girl, snarling quietly in greeting. Snatching would come next, as would the offering of glittering things, but he wanted to hear the end of the song first.]

[Spam]

[notafuckingnut]

[He was this.close to teeth. To bearing all of them, to striking FEAR in the hearts of fair maidens everywhere, to snatching with claws and disappearing into the...day...with nary a trace. Or...not very much of one, anyway. He was all ready to be terrifying, and then...

There was no screaming. No dulcet tones of terror, no delicious scent of fear in his nostrils, just...questions. And doe eyes. And...

This wasn't right. This wasn't right at all. He blinked once, twice, cocked his head to the side to regard her bemusedly, twitched his ears in puzzlement and growled questioningly, testing, before hazarding speech in a tone that sounded as if it had been dragged over gravel and mangled horribly before being forced out between his tusks.]

No, that's impossible. I never get lost.

[A pause for consideration, and then his ears twitched and flattened, in sort of a "here goes nothing" gesture. A moment later he was bounding towards her, closing the gap in a single leap and pinning her to the ground securely with his front paws